A Blossoming Romance
by FantineInAFez
Summary: When Nikki and Lorraine are left alone in Michael's office, the perfect opportunity presents itself for the two women to consider their feelings. As they embark on a relationship together, both women discover a side to eachother that they rarely share. (I do not own any characters mentioned, unfortunately.)
1. Chapter 1

**Lorraine's POV:**

Where do I even start? Nikki Boston. How do I even begin to explain her to you? There's just something captivating about her, I don't know whether it's her authoritative persona or her gorgeous appearance. I don't know what to think. She seems so mysterious, she never really gives anything about her personal life away. Every time I'm with her, no matter what else is going on...all I can think about is her. When we're in meetings together I find it uplifting to see her. Even if she appears not to want to be there, as she sits with her arms folded and seems to be in a world of her own, just by her being there it makes me feel better. I love the way she can look amazing in a simple pair of tailored trousers and a plainly coloured shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I love how her dark hair gently ebbs at her ears. I love how she'll always stand her ground and argue her point with such brilliant conviction, yet still be equally as nurturing to the kids. If they misbehave she'll use her army background to make them remember not to do it again, I love that about her, it fascinates me. This can't be happening, I've never had a relationship with a woman... I'm not saying I've never thought about it, but I've never acted on my feelings. Anyway, she's straight isn't she? Well, she's never given any indication otherwise, so she must be...right!? Come to think of that though, nobody has ever thought _I_ could be interested in women, it doesn't mean I'm not. The way Nikki makes me feel is so strange, I feel like a teenager again.

**Nikki's POV:**

There's something about Lorraine that intrigues me. She can be so stingy and unwilling when it comes to spending money on repairs to the school, yet will pay money from her own pocket to help the kids have a good time. She tends to remain business-like a lot of the time; in her own sort of way; with just the odd moment where she let's it slide. In those odd moments she is the most wonderful woman i've ever met, her personality is fabulous; she's up for a laugh and a joke. However, I _do_ find it beautiful watching her in business mode, she'll do everything she can to make people agree with her, even though it might not work. I love the way her long blonde hair, in it's tidy curls, sways as she walks. She so often wears figure-hugging dresses with high heels that accentuate her amazing long legs, this only adds to the reasons I find her so attractive. How can I sit across from her in a meeting as she heatedly talks about budgets and overspends? All I notice when she speaks is her gorgeous accent, her perfectly glossed lips and an air of slight boredom in her eyes. This can't happen though, Lorraine has never shown _any_ indication that she's interested in women. None of my friends at Waterloo Road know that I'm gay, I've not been in a relationship since I came out of the army so they have no reason to know. How I feel about Lorraine isn't just friendship, it's genuine longing... but it could never happen, could it?

Nikki and Lorraine stood with Michael in his office. As Michael opened Jodi Allen's exam paper, Lorraine looked at Nikki with nervous eyes. Jodi's results reflect on Lorraine and on Nikki in different ways, for Lorraine it's crucial for bigging-up the school and raising the applicant number and for Nikki it is crucial as proof that the PRU _does_ work. Secretly, Lorraine is hoping that Jodi had done well because of all the support and encouragement Nikki had given Jodi and all the hard work she'd put in to get the best grade she could.

"Looks to me like she might've done it!" Michael announced, with a hint of excitement in his voice.

"How's she managed that with everything that happened?" Nikki answered, with surprise and pride.

Nikki and Lorraine looked at each other with the biggest smiles on their faces. Lorraine's smile lit up her face, her bright-white teeth beaming. Nikki smiled and her eyes smiled too. They both looked at each other, and then quickly looked away again.

"She's done the PRU proud!" Lorraine said, full of admiration for Jodi. She'd had worked so hard and turned her life around to enter this exam...but even after everything that had just happened, she seemed to have passed with flying colours. Nikki had never been more proud.

"Put it with the others," Michael told Nikki as he passed her Jodi's exam paper, "I'm going to go find her." Michael left his office, shutting the door behind him and Nikki started to walk towards it to go and put Jodi's exam with the rest.

"So've you Nikki..." Lorraine announced kindly and Nikki turned to face her, "...done the PRU proud. Michael was right when he said you were the woman for the job!" As she spoke, she walked towards Nikki, her high-end, high-heels clipping the floor.

"Thanks, it means a lot!" Nikki replied with a giggle, whilst looking down at the exam paper in her hands.

Lorraine and Nikki were now face-to-face, with less than a metre between them. Lorraine could feel her heart beating hard, it felt as though it was going to jump out of her chest. Nikki looked up from Jodi's paper and met Lorraine's gaze, she marvelled at her stunning pale-blue eyes which were encircled by delicately mascaraed lashes and at her perfect lips. So many things were running through her mind at break-neck speed but she didn't want to do anything stupid, after all, she had no idea how Lorraine would react. _She's my boss. She's Lorraine Donnegan. If she doesn't feel the same it could end terribly._ Lorraine stood and also thought how unprofessional it would be and how awkward things would be if she acted on her feelings. The two were stood silently, staring at each other when Nikki dropped Jodi's exam paper on the floor. Whether she did it on purpose or whether it was genuinely accidental, is for her to know and for you to decide. As Nikki bent down to retrieve it, her navy blouse came slightly un-tucked from her trousers at the back and she casually looked over her right shoulder. From the corner of her eye she saw that Lorraine's gaze was fixed on the small amount of skin that could be seen. It suddenly dawned on Nikki that the look in Lorraine's eyes was of pure longing and admiration. Nikki turned her head just in time to see Lorraine overt her gaze and focus on something else as Nikki stood up and turned to re-face her. Lorraine's heart was still pounding as she stared at Nikki nervously. Nikki then decided that by the look in Lorraine's eyes there was no reason to think she _didn't_ feel the same, so took a small step closer to her. Now they were incredibly close to each other and as Lorraine took a nervous deep breath, her nose was filled with the sweet smell of Nikki's perfume. Nikki reached out and carefully guided Lorraine's handbag off her shoulder and onto the floor next to where they stood. Lorraine then felt Nikki's left hand gently touch her hip, the fabric of her brightly coloured dress was soft to the touch. She lifted her right hand towards Lorraine's mouth and delicately placed her finger on her lips with a smile...and Lorraine smiled back. As Nikki let her hand slowly slide from Lorraine's lips, both women realised that their worries had been quite pointless. Lorraine's heart was still beating fast but now not only out of angst but anticipation aswell. She placed her hand on the waistband of Nikki's trousers and suddenly felt Nikki grab hold of her other hip to pull her in close to her. As their bodies touched, their lips locked too. As Nikki's lips caressed Lorraine's, Lorraine closed her eyes and felt something she hadn't felt in so long; maybe never; she felt content with who she was kissing, she felt real passion. Nikki pulled backwards and looked at Lorraine, who's eyes were now open and gleaming with a hint of confusion, just checking that what she was doing wasn't a bad idea. Lorraine reached her small, perfectly manicured hand up to Nikki's cheek and pulled her head back towards her again. Lorraine's worry and angst had completely disappeared and suddenly all she wanted to do was hold Nikki and kiss her. Nikki pressed her lips into Lorraine's, the lip gloss on her smooth lips tasted like sweet strawberries. Nikki inhaled and her nose was met with the sensuous scent of Lorraine's obviously expensive perfume, which made Nikki's eyelids flutter shut. Lorraine's arms were now both wrapped around Nikki's waist, the rapid beat of her heart could be felt by Lorraine as she held her tightly. Nikki smiled, mid-kiss, and reached up to run her fingers through Lorraine's perfect blonde curls. Lorraine's eyes filled with anticipation, Nikki monopolised her thoughts. As she moved her arm, there was a knock on the office door, Lorraine regretfully pulled her head away from Nikki's but didn't leave her embrace.

"You nearly done in there ladies? 'Cause you know Michael don't like me leavin' you in the office sis, and I need to pee so can you 'urry up?" Sonia called out through the door, Lorraine was surprised and relieved that the door remained closed.

"Come on Sonia, two minutes won't harm. We're just finishing up a bit of paperwork," Lorraine mischievously glanced at Nikki, then continued, "Anyway, what am I going to do if you're not sat outside, that I wouldn't do otherwise? I'm not a child, this is *my* school. I pay the bills!" Lorraine replied relatively kindly whilst still slightly goading Sonia into leaving herself and Nikki alone for just another minute or two more.

"Okay, but if Michael asks where I am you better have my back! You got that?" Sonia called back rapidly, clearly struggling to control her bladder.

"Yes Sonia, now quick, off you go!" Lorraine laughed.

"Oh Lorraine, you do have a sneaky way about you!" Nikki smirked.

"Shut up!" Lorraine joking replied. As Nikki went to protest, she was silenced by the feel of Lorraine's lips on hers. After a few seconds Nikki pulled away from Lorraine, looked her in the eyes and said, "D'you fancy going for a drink later?"

After a moment of deliberation Lorraine slowly nodded her head like a nervous teenager. Nikki smiled; trying terribly hard not to giggle at Lorraine's apprehensiveness; then gave in and let out a quiet laugh of admiration.

"Oi!" Lorraine announced, herself now giggling.

"I'll pick you up at eight then?" Nikki asked, still smirking.

"Yes, see you then!" Lorraine replied, with nothing but delight showing on her face.

At 8:15pm, Nikki and Lorraine arrived at an up-market pub about 10 minutes from where they would usually drink with friends from work. Nikki was wearing a plain white t-shirt, a tailored burgundy blazer, black skinny jeans and a pair of burgundy Converse boots. As she stood waiting for Lorraine to get out of the car, she had her hands in the pockets of her jeans. Lorraine stayed in the car for a minute or two once Nikki had got out, mostly just because she was admiring Nikki but didn't quite feel comfortable admitting it to her.

Once Lorraine did get out of the car and start to walk towards the pub, Nikki could see Lorraine's outfit properly for the first time...and oh wasn't it worth it! Lorraine was wearing a sapphire blue dress; which just touched her knees; with a cream collar and cream brogues. Her hair was neatly clipped up on top of her head. Nikki sighed happily as she sped up slightly to catch up with Lorraine.

They sat at a table in the corner which had a red leather sofa one side and two chairs at the other, Lorraine with a glass of red wine and Nikki with a bottle of lager. They sat in silence for a moment, both too nervous to say anything. Nikki was looking at Lorraine, admiring her, quietly thinking of what to say so she didn't embarrass herself. That didn't work so well and she *did* end up embarrassing herself...but it broke the ice and once they started talking they couldn't stop. After a while they had both finished their drinks so Lorraine offered to go and get another. Whilst Lorraine was at the bar, Nikki decided to move over on the sofa to make room for Lorraine to sit there...hoping she would take the hint. As Lorraine was walking back with the drinks, she saw that Nikki had moved over, internally panicked for a moment and then muttered "Fuck it." under her breath. She placed the drinks on the table and sat down next to Nikki, who swears her heart stopped. To Nikki's surprise, Lorraine placed a hand onto her leg and smiled mischievously. That smile is enough to drive anyone crazy. Nikki, who was already struggling to contain her feelings before Lorraine had sat by her, saw that as a signal to kiss her... so that's exactly what she did. She took Lorraine's hand in hers, leant forward and kissed. Neither cared what the few other people in the pub thought. Their thoughts were consumed by each other. Lorraine pulled away with a mysterious look on her face, whilst still holding onto Nikki's hand she downed her second glass of wine in one go and gestured at Nikki to finish up her second lager. Lorraine whispered something into Nikki's ear with a giggle and after a nod from Nikki, stood up, still not letting go of her hand. The two walked out of the pub hand in hand, with a smile on their faces. Who know's what happened next!


	2. Chapter 2

**This was originally just going to be a one shot, but I've discovered I love writing Nikki/Lorraine way too much, so I'm going to keep going. this is my first fanfic so constructive criticism is completely welcome.**

* * *

As they left the pub, amidst Lorraine's nervous giggles, Nikki suddenly thought something, "Lorraine..." she began to say, "I can't drive home, I've had too much to drink!"

"We call a taxi then, don't we?" Lorraine replied with a seductive sarcasm in her voice.

"What do I do with my car though?" Nikki was, after all, not willing to lose it again after Barry's recent attempt to sell it.

"Oh, just leave it where it's parked. It'll be fine until morning." Lorraine eventually replied.

Nikki looked sceptical but then she answered, "Okay then. I'm blaming you if it gets stolen though!" She couldn't suppress the smile spreading across her face.

"You're a rubbish liar aren't you?" Lorraine laughed.

Nikki jokingly rolled her eyes and then said, "Shall we just walk? I live less than 10 minutes that way." pointing vaguely towards the left.

"Well, why not? I don't like taxi's anyway." Lorraine smiled at Nikki, her whole face lit up with a new wave of happiness.

The two women walked to Nikki's flat, almost totally in silence. It wasn't a bad silence, it was good, the sort that makes you feel warmer inside. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you see someone beautiful and they don't seem real? Well, each time Nikki turned to face Lorraine she got that same feeling, taking her breath away so she was unable to engage in conversation. Lorraine was just admiring the way Nikki walks, something she'd done far more often that she'd care to admit.

* * *

Nikki unlocked the door to her ground floor flat, after fumbling around in her bag to find her keys. "Welcome to my humble abode," Nikki stated, rather over dramatically, with a smile, "It's nothing special...but I've got no complaints."

"No complaints at all? Not even one?" Lorraine probed coyly, as Nikki shut the door behind her.

"Well...there might be one. It's not all that nice being in it all on my own." Nikki replied, attempting to keep her composure.

Lorraine knew what she meant but smiled and answered, "You're not on your own, you've got-" glancing towards Nikki's Russian blue cat which had come to greet them at the door.

"Jehan, he's called Jehan!" Nikki finished, slightly awkwardly.

"Seriously Nikki, you named your cat after an ill-fated, romantic, poem writing, fictional character?" Lorraine asked with a huge smile on her face.

"Quite the little Les Misérables fan we have here then, and yes, yes I did!" Nikki replied, with a noticeable excitement in her voice which she was trying so hard to contain.

"Well you didn't exactly strike me as the sort of person who'd have an interest in musical theatre!" Lorraine told her, following it with a nervous giggle which made Nikki's stomach feel as though it was doing somersaults.

"There are lots of things you still don't know about me, Miss Donnegan." Nikki announced, slightly biting her bottom lip with her teeth and making eye contact with an extremely nervous looking Lorraine.

Lorraine couldn't take her eyes off Nikki's perfectly formed lips. The temptation to kiss her was rapidly taking over Lorraine's mind, so she leaned forwards and gently placed a kiss on her lips.

"_Never _call me Miss Donnegan outside of Waterloo Road. _Ever _again." Lorraine commanded placing another quick kiss on Nikki's lips. Nikki smirked quietly. "Seriously Nik, i mean it!" Lorraine finished, slightly more serious now.

"You called me Nik, nobody calls me that-" Nikki was interrupted.

Lorraine nervously said, "Oh, I'm sorry. Um-"

"No, no, Lorraine, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that I've never had a nickname...well, not one meant in a kind way anyway!" Nikki seemed embarrassed, Lorraine was just happy that Nikki trusted her. Lorraine's heart sunk at what Nikki had said, but she couldn't quite manage to put what she was thinking into words, so she just reached out her arm and held onto Nikki's.

"Come on, let's go and sit down!" Nikki replied, with that feeling in her stomach again because of Lorraine's touch.

* * *

The two women sat down together on the black leather sofa in the open plan living room, after Lorraine picked up the cushions and threw them onto the wooden flooring. She didn't really know _why _she did that, it wasn't even her house, but Nikki didn't say anything. Lorraine looked at her but Nikki didn't even notice, her focus was on her hands, her long fingers clasped together and her nails dug into the backs of them. Nikki was nervous, she didn't want to ruin what had just begun between herself and Lorraine by opening up too much. Lorraine placed her hand gently on Nikki's forearm and waited until she looked up from her lap.

"What's up Nik? You were fine until a few minutes ago!" Lorraine asked sympathetically.

"Don't worry, it's nothing. I'm just being silly." Nikki said, emotionless, "Fancy a drink?"

"I'll get 'em. What d'you want?" Lorraine asked, hoping the answer wouldn't be anything alcoholic.

"I'll have a lager, have whatever you want." Nikki replied.

Lorraine went into Nikki's kitchen and opened the fridge, going to get herself and Nikki a drink when she suddenly remembered that alcohol was in no way beneficial to Nikki right now. Lorraine closed the fridge and opened the heavy door to the freezer, hoping she'd find what she was looking for.

"Ahh!" Lorraine whispered to herself, with a smirk on her face, as she saw two big tubs of Ben&Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice cream in the first drawer. She knelt down and reached in to get the first one out. As she stood back up, she heard a squeak of rubber on the marble tiled floor, it was the sound of Nikki's Converse boots.

"I thought you were getting us a drink?" Nikki asked, confused.

"Well... I thought this might be a _better _alternative." Lorraine answered kindly, gesturing to the ice cream.

Nikki smiled warmly, a small tear threatening to slide down her cheek. She'd taken off her blazer by now and Lorraine could see how tightly the plain white t-shirt was hugging Nikki's amazing figure. Lorraine went to say something but the words got caught in her throat because she was struggling to take her eyes off Nikki. As she closed the freezer door, Nikki walked towards her slowly and took the tub of ice cream out of her hand and placed it down on the nearby worktop. Lorraine hadn't wanted Nikki to drink because once she started she wouldn't stop, she knew that feeling all too well to let it happen. So many times had Lorraine let herself drink far more than she should, just because she was fed up of thinking about things; fed up of talking. She wanted Nikki to talk to her, if she felt she could, and alcohol would prevent any chance of that. Lorraine had almost forgotten that Nikki was stood in front of her, until she felt her hands gently on her waist. Lorraine smiled and leant in closer, feeling the warmth radiating from Nikki's body. Nikki's strong arms wrapped around her petite waist, holding on as though if she let go she'd lose her. As Lorraine wrapped her arms around Nikki's waist, the woman let her head rest lightly on Lorraine's shoulder, letting out a nervous sigh. The two women stood in their embrace for what felt like an eternity, the only sound that could be heard was their breathing. Lorraine ran her long fingers through Nikki's short bobbed hair, as a muffled sob escaped from her mouth.

"Come on Nik, talk to me." Lorraine sighed desperately, clutching onto Nikki tightly. As she lifted her head tears fell from her beautiful eyes. Nikki felt ridiculous, her cheeks turned a shade of pillar-box red with embarrassment, she just _didn't _cry in front of people. Nikki turned away, trying to avoid anymore unnecessary embarrassment but Lorraine grabbed hold of her hand and turned her back to face her. She reached up her arm and brushed away a tear that was meandering down Nikki's cheek.

"Let's get this ice cream eaten before we need a straw!" Lorraine laughed and took two spoons off the worktop nearby. Nikki started to walk back to the sofa with Lorraine close behind.

"Jehan, shift!" Nikki shouted, her voice wavering as she choked back her tears, feeling completely childish.

Lorraine still couldn't get over the fact that Nikki's cat was named after a Les Misérables character. Jehan jumped down onto the floor but sat just a few steps away from the sofa.

"They do say that pets take after their owners," Lorraine announced, trying to cheer Nikki up, "Jehan is just as stubborn as you are!"

Nikki smiled slightly, her eyes still glazed with tears.

"What're you thinking about?" Lorraine began, "I just want you to trust me, I'm really not bothered what it is!"

"I'm just being stupid!" Nikki retorted, but Lorraine could hear how much emotion was hidden under that snap remark. Lorraine took a spoonful of ice cream; which was perfectly soft by now; and ate it, then offered the pot to Nikki.

"I'm just being stupid," Nikki said again, "Don't laugh when I tell you this-"

"I won't!" Lorraine interrupted.

"I'm nervous, ridiculously so. I haven't dated anyone for so long. I'm the one who's supposed to be fine with this. I'm supposed to be the one who's totally comfortable. I'm the one who's dated women before..." Nikki trailed off after she saw the look on Lorraine's face.

"Oh Nikki," she sighed sympathetically, "I don't expect you to be completely comfortable, fuck it, I'm glad you're not. It's kind of intimidating thinking that the person you're with is totally comfortable when you're a nervous wreck!"

"Lorraine, you're doing pretty well, even if I do say so myself," Nikki said with a wry smile, "I'm not doing quite so well. It's not exactly the best idea to cry on your first date with someone!"

"I don't mind taking it slow. Anyway, it would be pretty daunting if you were completely fearless Nik!" Lorraine smiled, as she felt Jehan's fur rub against her legs.

"He likes you. Who are you...Catwoman?" Nikki laughed.

"I like him too, not as much as I like _you _though" Lorraine answered.

"Oh shut it you, I didn't think you were so-" Nikki was cut off as Lorraine kissed her.

"So what?" Lorraine questioned, with that seductive sarcasm lacing her voice again.

"Forget it!" Nikki smirked and kissed Lorraine's lips again, which tasted of chocolate.

"I've not seen The Dark Knight Rises!" Lorraine said, reminded about this fact by Nikki calling her Catwoman.

"Whoa, seriously? Right, that's it! I know what we're going to do now then!" Nikki replied, getting up off the sofa and walking towards the shelf on the other side of the room. Lorraine watched her walk over, it was something she was so used to doing, she couldn't resist. She smiled to herself. Nikki knelt down in front of the television and put a DVD into the player. Lorraine knew what Nikki was putting on and couldn't help but smirk and shake her head.

"Come here you!" Lorraine called.

Nikki picked up the remote and then threw herself back down on the sofa next to Lorraine, who wrapped her arms around her waist and rested her head on Nikki's shoulder slightly. The contents of the tub of ice cream had decreased rapidly and Lorraine offered the almost half empty tub to Nikki who dug her spoon in, smiled and said, "Lorraine, you're too good to me!"

"I think you deserve someone being good to you, all you do is try to help others. Nobody-" Lorraine started to say in reply, but Nikki kissed the top of her head and she couldn't talk anymore. Jehan jumped up onto Nikki's lap and she smoothed his back. Lorraine regained her composure, laughed and said, "Want a bit of love too d'you Jehan?" and he mewed, as though replying to her question.

The two women sat and watched the film, whilst finishing off the tub of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. Once the film had finished, Nikki looked at Lorraine again for what seemed like the hundredth time that night; not that she was complaining; and her eyes were closed.

"Are you asleep?" Nikki whispered, quietly enough so that if she _was _asleep she wouldn't wake her. Lorraine didn't reply, just nuzzled Nikki's shoulder.

"I'd take that as a yes, then." Nikki smiled, leaned her head on Lorraine's and a few minutes later, fell asleep herself.


	3. Chapter 3

Nikki pulled up into the car park of Waterloo Road in her black 4x4 and let out a sigh. It was only early but the sun was shining in the sky and the breeze was whipping through the car park. The Easter break had ended all too soon, but she was also glad to be back so she could get back to doing one of her favourite things; even though she'd rarely admit it; which is helping and teaching the young people at the school. She wasn't looking forward to seeing any of the staff members, well none of them except a certain; very attractive; benefactor. She hadn't seen Lorraine since they'd sat and ate Ben&Jerry's ice cream and watched The Dark Knight Rises. Lorraine had been down in London, visiting her mother, who she rarely saw. She'd made her a promise that she would visit _soon_ but things kept getting in the way, so the Easter break became the perfect opportunity. Even though Lorraine and Nikki hadn't seen each other for two weeks, they'd spoken almost every day, either by text or by phone. Whether Nikki consciously decided to wait in her car for Lorraine or not, she sat there sorting through some paperwork she'd been filling-in over the break. Almost 10 minutes had elapsed when Lorraine's red Ferrari pulled into the car park, searching for a space. Lorraine had never got on well with her mother when she lived at home, she wasn't the most nurturing of parents, so her break had been less than enjoyable. During one of her phonecalls to Nikki, Lorraine said that her mother kept asking her whether she had a boyfriend and when she was getting married. Nikki laughed and said, "Well I hope you don't, otherwise I've missed something big!"

Lorraine smiled, even though nobody could see her, and replied, "No, I don't. However, I do have a..."

"Go on, say it Lorraine!" Nikki goaded, with a warmth in her voice.

"I do have a girlfriend, but i can't tell my mother that. She'd be too much hassle!" Lorraine replied.

"It's very strange to hear you say that, amazing, but strange!" Nikki finished, happily.

So, as Nikki saw the flash of red metal speeding around the car park, she put her papers away in her bag and got out of the car. She walked a few steps away when she heard someone shout, "Nikki!" Her heart skipped a beat, she loved how Lorraine said her name, she won't admit that but it is true. Nikki stopped and turned around to face Lorraine, who admired what she was wearing; charcoal grey trousers with a light blue shirt, the sleeves of which were of course rolled up to just below the elbows.

"Wait there!" Lorraine called, even though she was almost in front of Nikki by now. Lorraine was wearing tight black trousers, a floaty black and green patterned blouse, green stiletto heels and a grey tailored blazer. Nikki had almost forgotten how attractive Lorraine was, she found it strange being able to admire the woman without worrying about Lorraine feeling uncomfortable.

"Oh I've missed you Nik!" Lorraine sighed with a huge smile on her face.

"Come on you soppy cow get into work!" Nikki answered, trying to play it cool but failing miserably.

"Come on then!" Lorraine smirked, she couldn't resist playing along, just to see how long Nikki would be able to keep her composure.

* * *

The two women walked into the staffroom together. Nikki threw her bag down on the table and looked around to see who was sat there. She sighed as she saw Audrey, Tom, Christine and a few other members of staff she rarely spoke to. Michael wasn't there yet but she knew he wouldn't be long.

"Have a nice break?" Christine asked, looking at Nikki.

"Yeah, not too bad!" She replied casually, not really bothered about hearing of Christine's romantic trip to Paris, with her boss.

"You're not known to grace us with your presence on a regular basis!" Audrey retorted, noticing Lorraine stood over by the door.

"No, Audrey. That's because I have other work to do concerning other things, not related to this school!" Lorraine snapped back as she walked over towards the kitchen area. Audrey looked appalled at how Lorraine had spoken to her. One thing Lorraine hated was people suggesting that she was rude or that she doesn't give her all. It is true though, Lorraine rarely spends time in the staffroom, it usually takes a lot of persuasion from Michael to get her in there, even at the start of term. Today was different. Today, Lorraine was different. Nikki left her bag on the table and went over to where Lorraine was stood before something got said that everyone would regret afterwards. As she walked over, she heard that Audrey had gone back to quizzing Christine about Paris, in the hope it hadn't been as good as the trip she'd tried to convince her to take.

"Tea?" Lorraine asked Nikki once she was stood near her.

"I'll give you a hand." Nikki replied with a coy smile.

"No, it's fine, but you could look if any of this lot have bought some biscuits." Lorraine suggested, gesturing to the tired-looking group of teachers. As Nikki reached up to the cupboard where they usually keep the biscuits, Lorraine prodded her in-between two of her ribs and she had to suppress a squeal. Nikki shot a look at Lorraine, it was a combination of mild annoyance and sheer amusement.

"How old are you, again?" Nikki smirked, "because you seem to be behaving like one of the pupils!" Lorraine's face said it all, she raised her eyebrows how she does when she's trying to persuade someone to agree with her and then a smile crept across her face.

"Seriously, you're like a child!" Nikki laughed, she was only doing this because all she could think of was how gorgeous Lorraine looked when she laughed...and now was neither the time nor the place. Disappointingly, there wasn't any biscuits so as Lorraine poured them both a cup of tea, Nikki picked up the newspaper which was lying on the worktop.

"What a load of crap." Nikki muttered, after flicking through the first few pages.

"What's wrong Nik? You seem anxious this morning." Lorraine asked, sympathetically.

"I'm nervous, oh it's going to sound so ridiculous-" Nikki started.

"It won't. Please, go on." Lorraine interrupted, quietly.

"It's Barry, trying to keep him under control for the entire day is a constant battle," Nikki sighed, "He's always got _something _to complain about." Lorraine reached her hand over to Nikki's, which was resting on top of the newspaper, and took hold of it. With a smile that made Nikki feel warm inside, she said, "I'll never understand why Michael let Barry Barry stay here!" The two women made eye contact, they were dangerously close to eachother now. Nikki could feel the tension between the two of them, so gently kicked Lorraine in the leg. "Ow, what was that for?" Lorraine exclaimed, a little too loudly.

"What's going on over there?" Audrey piped up, sticking her nose in as always.

"Miss Donnegan just...burned herself on the kettle!" Nikki called back, choking back laughter. She didn't even know why she had lied, and such a terrible lie aswell.

"Hmm." Audrey obviously didn't believe her, but who would? It was the most unbelievable lie, considering the words of Lorraine's exclamation. Michael hadn't arrived and there was only about 10 minutes until the bell would be going to signal the start of another terrible term. Lorraine and Nikki both left the staffroom together, their gaze still locked on the other's.

"See you at lunch, Nik?" Lorraine asked, with a hint of that same seductive sarcasm which never fails to make Nikki smile.

Nikki nodded and then said jokingly, "Get over yourself Lorraine, why would I want to see you!" and walked away and turned her head around just to shoot a wink in Lorraine's direction. Lorraine couldn't see any pupils near by, but she felt as though someone was there; watching. She shook it off. _Perhaps it's just because I'm not used to being able to flirt with Nikki._

* * *

Time passes all too slowly when you have to teach Barry Barry. Well, we say teach but I'm not so sure Miss Boston would use that term. Control? Yes. Entertain? Possibly. Teach? Not so much. He was in the sort of mood where he could hardly manage 5 minutes without causing trouble or making an inappropriate comment, which made Nikki's job unbearable. She watched the hands of the clock, which is positioned on the wall opposite her desk, whilst the pupils filled in a target setting sheet. The screen of her phone lit up and was surprisingly quiet as it vibrated. She quickly typed her numerical password in with her long fingers and saw a message from Lorraine fill the screen which read, 'I can't bare any longer near Michael, he's in a strange mood. We still on for lunchtime? Xx' Nikki tried to suppress a smile, because she is nothing but stony-eyed and emotionless when she's in front of pupils. She typed back to her, 'Oh, do tell!? Going to kill Barry. See you at lunch. PRU? Xx' and pressed send. She stood up from her desk and surprising herself, managed to catch hold of a paper aeroplane flying near her head. "Barry!" She began to shout, "This is your target then is it? Become a paper plane champion?" Nikki knew she was wasting her breath, but it is her job so she had no choice. Barry had his arms folded and a smirk on his face. He barely flinched as Miss Boston banged her hand down on the table, on top of a new copy of the target setting sheet. "Fill this in. I mean it!" It wasn't that long until the bell rang out signalling that it was time to go to lunch. "Bring me your sheets on the way out please." Nikki commanded, emotionless and expressionless. She looked at Barry's blank sheet, "Come back here Mr. Barry!" She called as he went to walk out of the door. "What is up with you? I thought you'd turned over a new leaf. It's your _final _chance Barry!" She finished, angrily. He did his usual sarcastic smile at Nikki and replied, "Yes Miss!" Nikki could do nothing but sigh and waved her hand in dismissal, then went to sit back at her desk and wait for Lorraine. She rested her head on the desk, she was exhausted, she hadn't remembered how tired dealing with the PRU kids made her.

After what could have hardly been a minute, there was a knock at the door, Nikki smiled but left her head on the desk, because she knew it could only be Lorraine. Lorraine typed the code into the keypad and pushed open the door.

"Come on Nik, you've got half hour now to just relax. Forget Barry Barry. He'll be off causing trouble somewhere by now, I'm sure!" Lorraine said comfortingly, walking over to Nikki and putting her arm gently on her shoulder. Nikki lifted her head off the desk and smiled.

"What did I do without you Lorraine?" Nikki asked.

"I honestly don't know, Miss Boston!" Lorraine replied with a wink.

"How come you can call me Miss Boston if I'm not allowed to call you Miss Donnegan?" Nikki asked with a smirk.

"We're in Waterloo Road now, I'm allowed to call you whatever I want!" Lorraine answered, trying to remain serious.

"Really Lorraine? Anything?" Nikki questioned.

"Okay, maybe not _anything!_" Lorraine giggled. Nikki smiled and her eyes twinkled with admiration for the beautiful woman who sat in front of her. Lorraine was holding onto Nikki's hand with her perfectly manicured nails, painted in a shimmery pale pink varnish. She leaned forward, being her unusually daring self, touched Nikki gently on the cheek. Nikki smiled but her mind was filled with worries. _What if someone sees us? What if Michael sees us?_ As soon as her brain had processed all the questions Lorraine's lips were only a few inches away from her own. Nikki dismissed her worries and quickly kissed Lorraine, who ran her fingers through Nikki's dark hair. Smiling, Nikki pulled away and whispered, "We don't want everyone to know until we tell them!"

"Imagine Audrey's face, Nik!" Lorraine smiled.

"Well now _that_ is something I don't think I'll want to see any time soon!" Nikki giggled, but she was actually quite nervous about the thought of people finding out about her relationship with Lorraine. She didn't know if she'd be able to deal with all the shit that came along with it. She wanted to be able to, but it had been so long. Lorraine looked into Nikki's eyes and it was almost as though she could read her mind, "They don't need to know Nik, I'm just as nervous as you are. I don't want any of the idiots in this place to make you feel like crap. We'll tell them if they ask, but otherwise it's nobody else's business but ours!" Nikki looked at Lorraine and her heart felt as though it was going to jump out of her chest, she felt a tear in her eye and then she smiled warmly and said, "Come here and give me a hug!" Lorraine tucked a stray curl of her beautiful hair behind her left ear and wrapped her arms tightly around Nikki.

The two women continued their embrace for what felt like longer than it truly was, it felt brilliant and daring at the same time. It felt too good to be true, nothing ever goes that smoothly at Waterloo Road...does it?


	4. Chapter 4

The next day it wasn't sunny as it had been the previous morning, the sky was dark and ominous, it was filled with clouds that threatened to release a torrent of rain to the ground. Nikki arrived at Waterloo Road slightly later than usual, she had to park her car much closer to the building than she liked to. She hadn't even wanted to leave her bed because the previous day had gone fairly smoothly and having two calm days in a row at Waterloo Road was practically unheard of. She walked into the staffroom and her mood dropped even further, Lorraine wasn't there. She didn't want to talk to any of her fellow staff members, all she wanted was to see Lorraine's perfect smile which could always brighten her day. She threw herself down into one of the uncomfortable chairs near where Tom was sat and let out another sigh. She took her phone out of the left pocket of her blazer. The blazer she was wearing is a favourite of hers, navy with the collars and sleeves trimmed with white, she always wore it when she needed a little confidence boost. The screen of her phone lit up with a 'new message' icon, there was a message off Lorraine which read, 'Hello Nik, sorry I'm not at Waterloo Road until lunch. Hope the PRU kids behave. See you later! Xxx' Nikki smiled and her face lit up, Lorraine is the only person that can make her smile without even being in the same room.

"What're you smiling about?" Tom whispered, leaning closer to her.

"Nothing, don't worry." Nikki answered.

"Is it Lorraine?" Tom inquired.

"Why would it be Lorraine?" Nikki replied, trying to keep her composure.

"It's Lorraine, isn't it?" He asked with a hint of laughter in his voice.

"It's none of your business Tom!" Nikki retorted.

"It _is_ Lorraine! What's going on between you two? If it's what i _think _is going on, I'm really happy for you!" Tom replied, kind as ever.

Nikki smiled slightly but still replied, "As I said, it's none of your business!" She was so glad that Tom didn't care, but she really wasn't in the mood for a conversation about it. With that, she got up off her seat and walked out of the staffroom, to the PRU. When she got there she sat down, rested her head on her desk and let out a large sigh, this was becoming an unwelcome habit of hers. She stacked and re-stacked a pile of loose papers on her desk until the time came for the pupils to arrive.

* * *

The time passed even slower than it had the previous day, the hands of the clock seemed to crawl around and with each minute Nikki became more and more aggravated by Barry Barry's inappropriate comments and childish behaviour. The other pupils in the PRU looked almost sympathetically at Nikki, as Barry made yet another childish remark about something-or-other.

"It's your _last _chance Barry!" Nikki shouted, her patience wearing incredibly thin.

"I know, I remember that." Barry replied.

"Good. I'm glad." Nikki answered angrily.

"I'm surprised _you _do though, Miss." Barry spat back.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She looked at the boy, full of anger and confusion. Barry Barry tapped his nose, sat back on his chair and folded his arms nonchalantly.

"I mean it!" Nikki exclaimed. Barry just rolled his eyes. She gave out the next piece of work to the pupils and sat back at her desk, she really wasn't bothered what they did with it, so long as they stayed quiet. Nikki resumed her previous position at the desk, which was staring blankly at the clock. The time passed until she finally heard the bell ring, signalling that it was break time. "Off you go then." Nikki called to the pupils and they all rushed to the door, as she stood up to go and collect the worksheets off the tables. She quickly looked through them, but didn't really see what anyone had written as she threw them down onto her desk. She looked around for the board rubber, finally finding it on the floor under her desk and cleaned the instructions off the large whiteboard at the front of the class. Nikki then made sure her shirt was tucked into her trousers, straightened her blazer and picked up her handbag to go and get herself a cup of coffee. She'd neglected to make herself one in the staffroom that morning and was gagging for a pick-me-up by now. She made sure the door to the PRU was locked and then walked towards the corridor that leads to the entrance area. As she turned into the corridor, she was met by a large group of pupils who were all staring at something on the wall and muttering. As they noticed that she was stood there the muttering ceased and everyone stood in silence. A voice came from somewhere within the gaggle of people, "Lezza!" which was followed by a few more people shouting and heckling. Nikki's heart sunk, she didn't even want to stand up for herself today. She just wanted to turn around and go back to the PRU, but that wasn't professional. A young girl; with tidy, mousey hair; who was stood near Nikki; slowly pulled down a piece of paper from the wall and handed it to the woman, met with a few shouts and comments aimed at the girl. Nikki looked at the piece of paper and she gritted her teeth, her mind was filled with anger and annoyance. It was a picture of her and Lorraine together, a picture of her and Lorraine taken the previous day when they had exchanged that brief kiss. Nikki didn't know how someone could have seen them, after all, she nor Lorraine had seen anyone whilst they were in the PRU. She still wanted to turn back round and walk away, but this wasn't just about her, this was about Lorraine aswell. The group of people were slowly moving along the corridor, as Nikki shouted, "Who put this up?" but nobody answered. She kept walking along the corridor and looked to the side, noticing that people were still loitering in groups and some were laughing. She suddenly realised why, the picture of her and Lorraine had been photocopied and tacked over the walls all down the corridor. She ripped them down as soon as she saw them, but it was too late by then, so many pupils had already seen it, and who knows how many more there were. Nikki went looking for Tom, she went to the staffroom where she thought he'd be by now. She was right, he was sat there nursing a fresh cup of tea. "Tom!" She said in a stage whisper and beckoned him over to her.

"What?" Tom sighed. Nikki threw the sheets of paper that she'd taken down from the walls, onto the table in front of him. He looked at the top sheet and then back at Nikki, "Where are these from?" he asked.

"They're off the fucking walls, Tom!" Nikki exclaimed, "They're off the walls!"

"Who put them there?" He asked kindly.

"I don't know Tom. Whoever it is, is damn lucky that I _don't _know!" Nikki answered angrily, but Tom could sense she was on the verge of tears.

"Nikki, it's okay. We'll sort it. Ring Lorraine and let her know what's going on...before Michael does." Tom told Nikki sympathetically.

"I bet I know who it-" Nikki started.

"Nikki, don't go making accusations. It'll only make the situation worse!" Tom interrupted, he didn't want Nikki to get herself into unnecessary trouble with Michael, "Just go and ring Lorraine, I think I better talk to Michael!" Tom carried his cup of tea slowly, as it was still incredibly hot and left the staffroom to go and find the headteacher. Nikki picked up the papers off the table and walked over to the side of the room which was always empty of people and typed the first few letters of Lorraine's name into her contacts list and then pressed the call button. It rang for a few seconds until Lorraine answered, kindly saying, "Hello Nik, what're you doing calling me?"

"Lorraine, how busy are you?" Nikki asked, nervously.

"Well...I'm supposed to have a meeting in about 10 minutes but..." the woman replied, her voice laced with confusion.

"Well, you might want to get here as soon as. There's been an...um...incident." Nikki answered, her voice wavering slightly.

"What do you mean? Why are you ringing, not Michael?" Lorraine quickly replied, her voice urgent and still confused.

"Michael doesn't know yet, but, it's kind of personal..." Nikki trailed off and was met with silence at the other end of the line, "It's us, Lorraine, someone saw us yesterday." She finished.

"So what if they did?" Lorraine replied, her voice was a mixture of emotions.

"Whoever it was, took a picture. Now that picture has been plastered all over the walls of the fucking school Lorraine!" Nikki exclaimed, upset now engulfed by anger.

"Oh God, but we couldn't see anyone and...we only...but-" Lorraine was lost for words, whatever else Nikki was feeling, Lorraine's struggle to find the right words was nothing but adorable.

"So yeah, now the majority of the school will know and I have to go back to teaching the PRU kids...who will obviously have seen the picture!" Nikki couldn't even think about what Barry Barry was going to do, but she knew she had no choice but to go back and teach. There was no point in trying to avoid it because it would be just as bad whenever she went back to the PRU.

"Just try and ignore him, he'll only comment if he can see it bothers you...you're so much better than that Nik!" Nikki smiled, yet again Lorraine managed to cheer her up when she's not even in the same building.

"Haven't you got a meeting in a few minutes?" Nikki asked, unwillingly.

"Yeah, I'll be back at Waterloo Road before lunchtime. I promise!" Lorraine replied. Nikki could tell that the end of her sentence had been said with that smile which made her feel warm inside.

"Go on then, I have to go back and face the world again now. It's not that I don't want people to know...but why like _that_?" Nikki sighed and she just wanted a hug off Lorraine, right there and then, but that obviously wasn't possible.

"Goodbye, see you at lunch!" Lorraine said kindly, and hung up the phone. Nikki put her phone back in her left blazer pocket and walked over to make herself a cup of coffee, before the bell went for everyone to go back to lessons.

* * *

Nikki unlocked the door to the PRU and walked in, waiting for the pupils to arrive back from break. A few moments later they were stood waiting to come in, Nikki regretfully opened the door and braced herself for the spiteful comments she would inevitably receive. As she'd expected there were a few things said as the couple of pupils strolled back into the room, but Barry was staying quite quiet and Nikki knew that it was too good to be true. She gave out the sheet of paper, an extract from William Shakespeare's Macbeth.

"Right, this is Act 1, Scene 5 of Macbeth. It's Lady Macbeth's Soliloquy," A few mumblings could be heard but Nikki continued, "Anyone want to read it out?" She looked around and blank faces, Barry was far too quiet.

"Nobody wants to read for you, dirty lezza!" Barry retorted. It took all of her will power, but Nikki just ignored him.

"Fine, I'll read then!" She called out, and then began to read, "Come, you spirits, That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here-"

Barry sniggered and looked at Nikki, again she ignored him and continued

"And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full, Of direst cruelty! Make thick my blood-" Yet again, Barry let out a loud snigger.

Nikki couldn't ignore it any longer, "What is wrong with you Barry?"

"What's wrong with you more like! I don't want to be taught by people like you!" He replied.

"People like me? You don't want to be taught by _anyone_!" Nikki retorted.

"No, just you. I don't want a dyke like you teaching me!" Barry smirked.

"Get. Out!" Nikki shouted.

"Why should I Miss Boston? I'm only telling you my opinion." He said smugly.

"There is a vast difference between stating your opinion and being disrespectful. You should have learned that by now!" Nikki answered, exasperated. She wanted to walk out of the PRU and never go back again, but she refused to give up on Barry.

"You should learn not to go round kissing Miss Donnegan when you should be working!" Barry laughed sarcastically.

"I wasn't-" Nikki started but recollected her thoughts and realised something, "It was you...wasn't it Barry?"

"It was me, what?" He answered.

"It was you who took the photo, wasn't it?" Nikki said firmly.

"So what if it was? Everyone should know that they're being taught by a dyke!" Barry yelled.

"Just get out Barry! Get out now!" Nikki shouted and pointed to the door.

"Whatever!" He flippantly remarked as he walked towards the door. The other pupils looked at Nikki, all of them now feeling sorry for her and regretting laughing previously. Nikki had an idea about why Barry was being so homophobic but didn't want to confront him just yet. Suddenly Michael was knocking on the door of the PRU, he punched in the code and said, "Can we have a word, Miss Boston?" Nikki nodded and told the pupils to finish reading the Macbeth extract in front of them until she got back.

They stood outside the door of the PRU, Barry was nowhere to be seen now...he'd probably done a bunk and gone home, although he didn't usually back down from confrontation.

"What the hell's going on Nikki? I expect it from Lorraine but not you, what were you thinking?" Michael chastised.

"I would rather not have this conversation in a corridor whilst I'm meant to be teaching a lesson. Shall we wait until lunchtime, or would that be too long for you?" Nikki didn't want to discuss this without Lorraine, she couldn't get away with saying some of the things she wanted to, whereas Lorraine could say whatever she wanted.

"That's fine." Michael agreed, slightly regretfully.

"Oh, while you're at it...if you see Barry Barry, which is highly unlikely considering he's probably already on his way home, do something with him. Suspend him, at least for today, he needs to take time out and calm down!" Nikki told Michael dryly.

"Lorraine will be here in a bit, shall we all discuss this at lunch in my office?" Michael stated, far more patronising than usual.

"Yes, see you then." Nikki answered, opening the door to go back to her lesson she had been attempting to teach. Nikki managed to teach the rest of the lesson easily and calmly, but she wasn't really concentrating. She usually loved to teach Macbeth and especially Lady Macbeth's soliloquy because of how powerfully worded it is, but today she couldn't care less.

* * *

Lunchtime came and Barry Barry hadn't returned, so Nikki decided that her previous assumption was correct and he had gone wandering off somewhere in Greenock. She dismissed the pupils who had infact behaved outstandingly once Barry had left. She knew she had no choice but to go and speak to Michael now, but she also knew she'd be able to see Lorraine for the first time that day. She straightened her blazer, her palms were sweaty, her heart racing, her stomach knotted. The woman couldn't determine which were a result of her being afraid to speak to Michael; she wasn't used to feeling afraid like that; and which were due to being glad she'd see Lorraine. As she walked towards the office, Sonya asked loudly, "What's going on with you and my sister then?"

"Now is not the time!" Nikki answered, trying to hide her nerves.

"It'll be fine." Sonya assured with a thumbs up, as Nikki turned the handle of the office door.

Nikki felt like a child again, being called to the headmaster's office after kicking a ball through a window or using the trees as a climbing frame. Now was different, now her job was quite possibly be on the line, her panic level increased as she stepped in. Lorraine sat in a chair opposite Michael, she looked quite relaxed physically, but mentally her emotions were in overdrive. The only people within the school who's opinions she actually valued, were both in the same room with her. She was nervous about what Michael would think, all the feelings of confusion she'd had on that final day before the Easter break came flooding back. Lorraine closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself, then she looked at Nikki who was now sat in the chair next to her.

"What's going on? How did you ever let there be opportunity for _this _to happen?" Michael asked dryly, holding up one of the photo's off the wall.

"Just so you know, that kiss lasted no more than 2 seconds. It was just a quick display of affection. I don't know how anyone managed to see." Lorraine replied calmly.

"Yes, that may well be true but you can't kiss whilst you're in work!" Michael retorted. Lorraine took a moment to word what she was about to say correctly and then began, "How am I not allowed to quickly kiss Nikki, if you're allowed to snog Christine?" Michael looked confused. "Yes, I know about that time when Sian walked in here and saw you two!" Lorraine finished.

"That isn't the same." Michael answered.

"How is not the same? There's just as much chance, if not more, of someone walking in here than them walking into the PRU!" Lorraine shot back. Michael was lost for words.

"So do we have an issue here?" She asked him. He stayed quiet and shook his head.

"Well...we do have _a_ problem. Pupil's attitudes towards homosexuality have been shown very clearly to me today and we really need to do something about it!" Nikki calmly announced. Lorraine looked affectionately at her with a small smile, her eyes twinkling.

"Well, if you can think how we're going to do that, go ahead." Michael replied.

"Okay then, we'll have a think!" Lorraine smirked back, answering for the both of them. Nikki stood up to walk over to window to see what was going on, she need to walk away from Michael for a moment. Lorraine took a piece of folded paper out of her own jacket pocket and tucked it into the left pocket of Nikki's blazer which was hanging on the chair where she'd been sat. Nikki walked back over and picked up her blazer, looked at Lorraine kindly then looked at Michael and said, "Can we go now? I'd like chance to relax before continuing to teach." Michael gestured towards the door and Nikki took that as a yes. Lorraine followed Nikki out the door and closed it behind her. Sonya must have either gone to the bathroom or gone to get herself some lunch, so the two women stood facing eachother.

"You were brill in there, thank you!" Nikki told Lorraine awkwardly.

"Well...when you've known him as long as I have it's much easier to get him to agree with you!" Lorraine answered, with a cheeky smile on her face.

"I think it might just be your natural talent at persuasion Miss Donnegan!" Nikki replied, unsure whether it was a good idea considering Michael had only just warned them. Nikki could see that the nerves were returning to Lorraine, her eyes darted around the room. She reached out her hand to Lorraine's and touched her fingers, Lorraine tightened her grip on Nikki's hand with a smile. She had been hiding her nerves about people finding out, so well that she herself had forgotten just how daunting that idea was. A piece of her blonde hair fell in front of her face as she looked down at the floor, so with her other hand, Nikki carefully tucked it back behind Lorraine's ear and whispered, "We'll be fine, you know, forget about everyone else." Lorraine looked up at Nikki with a shy warmth in her eyes, placed her hand on the pocket where she had slipped the piece of paper just now and whispered, "I know we will, Nik. I know."

Once Nikki had got herself some lunch and gone back to the PRU, her phone vibrated in her pocket, notifying her she had a text. She went to take out her phone when she felt the folded piece of paper and took it out, her face a picture of confusion. She couldn't think how it had got there. She opened it and began to read it and a smile crept across her face. _Of course, Lorraine_. In her beautiful handwriting, Lorraine had written Nikki a note which simply read, 'No matter what, I still think you are the woman for job. There's an extra job that I have in mind for you now, if you're up for it?' Nikki didn't really know what Lorraine meant but tucked the note back in her pocket and took out her phone which had a message off Lorraine on the screen which read, 'Meet me at my place tonight, 7:30pm, to discuss my note ;) xxx' and then another text came through just after it with Lorraine's address. Nikki smiled, even though she had no idea what was going on...at least she'd get to spend time alone with Lorraine again, and she certainly wasn't going to turn that down.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you to everyone that has read this so far. I genuinely didn't think it would get so many views when I first started writing it. If you like it, leave me a quick review if you can. Just keep reading and I'll keep updating as often as possible (until I run out of ideas, which won't be yet, especially now that I will have new episodes to inspire me) x**

* * *

Nikki sat on the sofa in her flat, staring at the large clock hung on the wall opposite, the hands read just gone half past 6. She had less than an hour before she needed to be at Lorraine's house, so she decided it would be wise to go into her bedroom and get ready. Firstly though, she had to feed Jehan otherwise she wouldn't get a minutes peace, so with startling efficiency she filled his metal bowl with food from a foil packet and placed it down on the tiled floor of the kitchen. With a 'meow' of gratitude he began to eat, a signal to Nikki which said it was fine to go into her room and get ready. She flung herself onto the bed with a childish whim, causing the plethora of scatter cushions to literally become _scatter _cushions as they flew across the room. There were more cushions on Nikki's bed than would ever be considered commonly acceptable, so she let out a quiet laugh on realising just how many there were. She took her phone from her pocket and put the music on shuffle, not having the faintest idea what would begin to play because there was such a wide range of music on there. Nikki took off the clothes she'd worn to work, threw them onto the chair in the corner and then opened her wardrobe to see what she wanted to wear that evening. She wasn't going _out _anywhere but she still wanted to impress Lorraine, so it was more difficult to decide than she thought it would be. She wasn't really the sort of person who cared that much for clothes on a regular basis, but Lorraine made her want to look appealing and most of all she made her want to feel good. She took a pair of skinny jeans off the hanger and awkwardly pulled them on, after a few moments of frantically hopping around the room. Then came the arduous task of attempting to find a suitable t-shirt to wear, bearing in mind the fact that about half of her wardrobe consisted of a variety of different t-shirts. After taking a few off the hangers, looking at them and then throwing them behind her, she decided on a loose-fitting, white v-neck which paired with a light brown blazer. She tugged on her white leather boots and tied the laces tightly, then lay back on her bed, squashing several of the t-shirts which had landed there. Nikki lay there for a few moments, listening to a feel-good song that was playing, whilst she thought about Lorraine. She felt quite ridiculous doing this, she felt almost like a teenager fantasising about someone. On realising _just _how ridiculous she felt, she got up from her bed and looked in the mirror. Quickly running her long fingers through her chestnut hair, corrected any fly-away strands that had appeared. Nikki isn't one to wear make-up; and for that matter, doesn't even own more than a lip gloss; so once she'd decided what clothes to wear, getting ready was simple. After a small spray of perfume, she put on her watch and wandered around her bedroom picking up the cushions and clothing that was strewn across the floor, and threw it into a pile on the bed with a sigh. A quick look at her watch told her that it was almost quarter past 7, so she flicked off her bedroom light and went to get her handbag off the sofa. She muttered to herself as she made sure she had her keys, her purse and her phone and then said goodbye to Jehan, who bounded over and subsequently let out a disappointed 'meow' when the door was shut in his face. Nikki got into her car and drove to Lorraine's house across town, with the radio on full volume to drown out the nervous thoughts engulfing her brain. She didn't understand why she was _quite _so nervous, it wasn't even like it was the first time they'd been alone together. Before she knew it, she was turning into Lorraine's street.

* * *

She parked her 4x4 just down the road from Lorraine's house and got out, straightened her blazer and rolled up the sleeves one more turn than she usually did. As she was walking towards the door, her nerves increased, her palms began to sweat and she couldn't help but think how childish she was being. She didn't feel deserving of Lorraine; the woman with all the money anyone could ever want, a figure to die for, an outstanding personality _and _a grand house; she felt like Lorraine deserved so much better than her. She knocked quietly on the heavy door and after a few seconds it began to open. Lorraine smiled when she saw Nikki stood there, all the negative thoughts in the other woman's mind had been overwhelmed by just how beautiful Lorraine looked in that moment. She casually stood there, in a dress which was made from tight black fabric at the top; patterned with white leaves; and loose-fitting, white fabric at the bottom, which flowed down to her knees. Nikki's heartbeat sped up as Lorraine tucked a stray piece of perfectly curled, blonde hair behind her ear and said with a smile, "Are you coming in? Or are we going to stand at the door all night?"

"I might as well come in and take advantage of all the spare space you seem to have." Nikki laughed, admiring the area of the house that she could see well from where she stood.

"Come on then!" Lorraine ordered, with a wink. Lorraine was far more nervous than she was letting Nikki see, although if she had done, Nikki may have felt less nervous to begin with.

The two women sat on the plush, black leather sofa in Lorraine's living room and talked for a while about the events of the day. In the middle of their conversation, Lorraine asked, "What d'you fancy having to eat?"

"What's the options?" Nikki asked back.

"Well...anything that involves ringing up and it arriving at the door under half hour later." Lorraine laughed.

"I didn't think you were the sort of woman who lived off takeaways." Nikki replied, with a smirk.

"Oh, I'm not. I just think it's far safer than me cooking something for the two of us!" She told the woman, with a twinkle in her eyes.

"So...what's your favourite?" Nikki inquired, moving nearer to Lorraine on the sofa.

"I'd love a pizza, if you agree?" Lorraine replied, raising her eyebrows in _that _way that Nikki finds so brilliant.

"I'm not going to turn down a pizza, shall we have a large one? Half and half toppings?" Nikki continued.

"Your knowledge of ordering pizza is quite substantial." Lorraine responded, flirtatiously.

"Stop it! Seriously! I want my pizza, stop distracting me! _Don't _flirt over pizza!" Nikki commanded, lightheartedly, as the two women met eachother's gaze. Lorraine _was _a very distracting woman though. Nikki picked up a magazine off the oak table next to her and gently tapped the woman on the head with it.

"Order the damn pizza otherwise it'll be the middle of the night!" Lorraine laughed.

"Right, I'm having pepperoni. What about you?" Nikki asked.

"Um...ham and chicken please." Lorraine replied.

"Oooo, okay then. I'll ring now." Nikki told the woman, taking her phone out of her bag on the floor and searching for the number.

* * *

The pizza arrived and they took it to the table in the dining area. Lorraine insisted on them eating at the table so they could talk to eachother easily, she wanted to discuss the note she'd given to Nikki earlier that day. Steam swirled out of the box as Lorraine opened it, and took her first slice.

"D'you want a drink?" She asked, between mouthfuls of pizza.

"Yeah, if you want." Nikki nodded in reply.

"Lager, wine or-" Lorraine began.

"I'll have a lager, please." Nikki smiled.

"You're not really a wine sort of person, are you Nik?" She finished.

"No...not really." Lorraine smiled at Nikki's response and got up to go into the kitchen and get a drink. She poured herself a small glass of rosé wine and got a can of lager out of the fridge, opened it and poured it into a glass for Nikki. Placing them down on the table with a smile, she sat back in her seat and went to take her next slice of pizza.

"Oi, eat your own half!" Lorraine ordered as she noticed two of her slices were now gone.

"But that slice I had of yours was so nice! Have one of mine and call it quits?" Nikki responded, with a shy smile.

"Oh alright then, as long as we still get the same amount of pizza it doesn't really matter." Lorraine laughed. In her head she'd been wondering when it was a suitable time to bring up her intended topic of conversation, she decided that if she put it off any longer nothing would get done, "Nik, did you read my note earlier?"

"Oh yeah, I did wonder what all that was about." Nikki answered, her voice conveying her confusion, as she bit into another slice of pizza whilst trying to keep the pepperoni from falling off.

"Well, now that Sian's gone there's an opening for the deputy head post. Considering how you've managed to get the PRU working, even though I was never its biggest supporter, I thought you might be the perfect woman for the job." Lorraine blushed slightly once she realised she was rambling.

"Wow, I'm shocked. Do you really think I can pull off being deputy head?" Nikki asked, nervously. She didn't want to make any brash decisions, especially if the proposition was coming from Lorraine.

"Nikki, you can deal with Barry Barry in a calmer way than I've seen any other member of staff do the whole time he's been at Waterloo Road." Lorraine told Nikki soothingly.

"Of course, and Barry is the only way to prove I'd be a worthy deputy head?" Nikki asked.

"Well...it certainly shows that you've got damn good self control, and anyway, you do almost the same work now as you would be doing in the deputy head post." Lorraine smiled. Nikki's mind was in overdrive, she wanted to take the job, after all how hard could it be? At the same time she considered the responsibility of it all. After rapidly weighing up the pros and cons of taking the post, she looked kindly at Lorraine, "Ahh, how hard can it be? Have you discussed this with Michael?"

"Well, I briefly mentioned our need for a new deputy head but-" Lorraine began.

"You haven't, have you Lorraine?" Nikki said with a slight giggle.

"Well, I...no, I haven't." The woman replied, shyly hiding her face from Nikki.

"After today, I don't think either of us are exactly his favourite people-"

"Nik, don't worry. What's he going to do about it? It's _my _school." Lorraine told her, sneakily.

"I suppose that's true, Miss Donnegan." Nikki answered fliratiously. Lorraine responded to her with a look that tried so hard to convey annoyance at the use of her surname, but also conveyed a warmth that the woman felt as they talked.

"I know, I'm sorry but I can't resist it." Nikki responded coyly, sipping her glass of lager as a diversion from her feelings. Neither wanted their last slice of pizza so Lorraine closed the box to save them incase they got hungry later.

"Then I think a toast to the new deputy head of Waterloo Road is in order." Lorraine suggested, raising her wine glass in her right hand. Nikki raised her own glass and smiled as the two of their glasses clinked together. She found it strange hearing Lorraine call her the new deputy head but decided it wouldn't take long for her to get used to it.

"Come on you, I want to see the rest of this house!" Nikki told Lorraine, who was staring at her absent-mindedly with a smile on her face. Taking the woman's delicate hand in hers, Nikki pulled Lorraine from her chair and onto her feet. Lorraine tidied her dress and walked a few steps in front of Nikki, still holding onto her hand tightly. The room they stood in was perfect, the floor was light; possibly laminate but more likely real wood; and the walls were painted in crystal white. A large window on the opposite side from where they were stood, would usually have let in light during the day but the thick, jet-black curtains were now closed for the night. The room was being lit by the large, decorative shade on the ceiling. Nikki felt the surface below her feet change as Lorraine guided her into the centre of the room, she now found herself stood on a rug; black in colour to match the curtains; facing a bookcase that covered almost all of one wall.

"Wow!" Nikki breathed, "Do you ever get chance to read these?"

"Not really, I've read a lot of them over the years of buying them but I definitely haven't read any recently." Lorraine admitted, shamefully.

"Surely you must have a favourite book though, if you own so many?" Nikki said, questionably.

"I have a few," Lorraine started timidly, "I must admit that I do love the Harry Potter books."

"Really? You didn't strike me as a Potter fan, Lorraine." Nikki replied, holding onto the woman's other hand gently.

"Well, if you remember, you didn't strike me as a Les Misérables fan and we've established that you most certainly _are _one of those!" Lorraine responded, with the most adorable smile Nikki had ever seen. Nikki's eyes lit up as she tried to hide how much she loved Lorraine's smile, after all, she still wasn't used to showing her sensitive side. Still holding onto both of Lorraine's hands, Nikki took a small step closer to her, she wanted to be near her, just to appreciate everything about her. She breathed in and the sensuous, sweet smell of Lorraine's perfume was almost intoxicating.

"Talking of Les Misérables, I've got something you might like." Lorraine said, unaware of the fact Nikki had been seconds away from kissing her.

"Sounds intriguing." Nikki whispered, dismissing the fact Lorraine had slightly spoiled the moment which could have been possible. Lorraine walked over to the bookshelf, still holding onto Nikki's hand, and scanned the shelf which was at eye level. As she did this, Nikki looked at the range of colourful books, wondering how many of them she had read herself.

"Here you go, Nik." Lorraine said, planting a large book into Nikki's hands. She looked at it for a moment, then lifted her eyes up to meet Lorraine's, "It's so old, when was this published?"

"I can't for the life of me remember, but it's worth a fair bit." Lorraine answered, placing her hands on top of the dishevelled looking copy of Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.

"Where did you even get this Lorraine? One of the benefits of having existential amounts of money, I guess." Nikki responded, her heart racing as she admired the woman's beautiful hands.

"It sounds terrible when you put it like that Nik," Lorraine began, "Anyway, it was given to me."

"Lucky you!" Nikki smiled.

"When I went to college, the library closed down and they were giving away the books for a small donation." The woman informed Nikki.

"So of course, you couldn't turn down a classic copy of Les Misérables." Nikki gently put the book down on the table behind her and reached her left hand forwards onto Lorraine's hip. As she felt Nikki's touch, the woman tensed up, still not being able to eradicate her nerves. Nikki placed her right hand onto the other hip and looked into Lorraine's eyes, reassuringly. Lorraine almost felt the nerves leave her body as she reached forwards and slowly undid the buttons on Nikki's blazer.

"You're cute when you're nervous." Nikki giggled, as she slid her arms out of her blazer sleeves.

"I am _never _cute, Nikki Boston." Lorraine answered, biting her bottom lip slightly.

"I think you might be lying, Lorraine!" Nikki responded, tucking a strand of Lorraine's hair back behind her ear. Both women's minds were filled with the same thoughts, their nerves were almost forgotten by now and Nikki leaned into Lorraine further. As the women's lips met, it felt like coming home, it felt so right to be kissing eachother again. Lorraine gently touched Nikki's cheek and kissed her again, it felt as though an electric current passed through them. Nikki locked her fingers into Lorraine's and pulled her hand from her face. Their noses touched and brushed together, sending a shiver through Lorraine's body. Grabbing onto the loose fabric of Nikki's v-neck, she pulled her forwards so that their bodies touched. Nikki let out a sigh of admiration as she kissed Lorraine's soft lips again and closed her eyes.

"Let's go in the living room." Lorraine whispered into Nikki's neck. With a quick kiss of agreement, she found herself being led out of the room. Nikki wasn't used to being out of control, but she didn't feel nervous, she felt totally at ease as Lorraine put a hand into the back pocket of her jeans. Lorraine felt rebellious, being in control was something of a habit for her, but this was different. As the two women sat down on the sofa again, they gazed at eachother with mutual understanding.

"I could get used to this." Nikki whispered, as she kissed Lorraine on the lips another time.

"I think we're already pretty used to it." She answered with a coy smile.

Lorraine picked up a cushion that was next to her and tenderly tapped Nikki with it, who then grabbed it from her hands and threw it back. After less than a minute the two women were engaged in what can only be described as a full-on pillow fight. They collapsed into fits of giggles, then hugged eachother tightly for what seemed like an eternity, and called a truce.

"That is also something I could get used to!" Lorraine laughed, as she felt Nikki run her fingers through her blonde curls to untangle them. Lorraine felt an overwhelming warmth consume her, as though her whole body was smiling with delight as she wrapped her arms around Nikki's muscular waist and whispered, "Good luck, remember you're the deputy head now."

Nikki smiled, nestled her face into Lorraine's hair and quietly responded, "With you by my side, Lorraine, how could _anything_ go wrong?"


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far, I really am grateful. Can we also just take a moment to appreciate just how perfect Nikki and Lorraine's kiss was in Thursday's episode?**

* * *

The incessant beeping of an alarm clock woke Nikki with a start, she had been in a deep sleep and in the middle of a fascinating dream. She smiled whilst still caught in the dazed moments of being woken, unsure what was part of her dream and what was real. She rolled over and reached out to her bedside table, slamming her hand down on the alarm clock to cease the noise. She rubbed her eyes gently with the backs of her hands and sat up in bed, the early morning sunlight was creeping in through her charcoal curtains. She was sat up just so she wouldn't be tempted to close her eyes again and drift back off to sleep, in the hope of finishing her dream. Today she was determined to go for a jog before heading to work, to relax her and let her prepare for the day ahead. She may have had a feeling of warmth and content inside her due to spending time with Lorraine until almost midnight, but the idea of facing Michael once he knew that she'd be the new deputy head, made her almost nauseous. It wasn't even half 6 yet but the sun was shining as Nikki swung her legs out of bed and walked over to her wardrobe to get her clothes out for her jog. She took a few steps forward and suddenly tripped on the pile of clothes and cushions she'd thrown from the bed when she got in from Lorraine's the previous night. She pulled on a pair of black jogging bottoms and a white t-shirt, zipped up a thin blue hoodie and tied up her trainer laces. Grabbing a bottle of water from her kitchen and picking up her phone, she walked out of her door and locked it behind her. She plugged her headphones in, searched through her library for her favourite album and pressed play. Making sure her keys and phone were secure in her pockets, she stepped outside and began her jog.

* * *

On the other side of Greenock, Lorraine was just stirring from her sleep. She smiled as she thought about the previous night, that particular kiss she'd shared with Nikki meant so much to her because it was so sensitive, yet still so passionate. The sun shone in through the gaps in the wooden blind, casting a golden glow across her silky, scarlet bedsheets. She shook her head gently and let her blonde hair fall around her shoulders in its tidy curls. She looked at her clock; 6:54am; "Shit!" She responded. She knew she was supposed to be at Waterloo Road by 7:30am to meet up with Michael, but she just wasn't in the mood for arguments. She got up from her bed and made sure her duvet was straight and tidy. After going into the bathroom, she applied her make-up carefully and sorted her clothes. She picked up her phone to check the time and saw that she had a new message, it was off Nikki. That message read, 'Good morning, what time are we meeting Michael?xxx' Lorraine quickly typed out a reply as she walked downstairs to get herself a cup of tea. Some days she loved being alone in her huge house and other days all she wanted was for someone to be there with her. That morning she couldn't tell which she would prefer, her emotions were running high. After telling Nikki she would pick her up at 7:30am, she busied herself so she didn't have to think about the day ahead.

* * *

Nikki's jog had relaxed her but in her mind she was still battling with all the nervous thoughts she had about the coming day. Her stomach was in knots as she had a quick shower and got dressed into a pale grey suit, she had to look even more professional now she was the deputy head. She looked at her phone to see what Lorraine had said and on reading the message her stomach tightened further. She had such little time until she would pull up outside, so little time to calm down, so little time until she *had* to be professional. After quickly doing up her jacket buttons, she sat tentatively on her sofa; with a handbag full of paperwork beside her; and nervously played with her fingers as she tried to calm down. Jehan prowled over and rubbed his body against Nikki's legs, reassuringly, causing her to smile slightly. A horn beeped outside, it could only be Lorraine.

Nikki got into the bright red Ferrari, she didn't feel like she was good enough to be sat in a car like that. After the briefest kiss on the lips, Lorraine started the engine and Nikki forced a smile onto her face. They turned around corners at a speed Nikki assumed to be over the speed limit, it certainly felt it. As she pulled the car into the car park of Waterloo Road, Lorraine glanced at Nikki, who smiled back at her. Nikki felt nauseous, she didn't want this day to happen, the repercussions of the previous school day and the announcement of being the new deputy could make anybody nervous. She was ashamed of how nervous she was, she didn't want to tell Lorraine because she seemed so happy and she wasn't going to be the one responsible for ruining it.

"Looking forward to today?" Lorraine asked her.

After a few seconds, Nikki replied cautiously with, "Well, as much as I can be after yesterday's events."

"You'll be fine." Lorraine answered, with a smile.

"Yeah," Nikki began, "I'm sure I will"

* * *

They walked inside together, towards Michael's office to tell him about their newly appointed deputy head. Nikki tentatively admired the tight black pencil skirt and silky, cream, chiffon blouse Lorraine was wearing with matching cream stilettos. Nikki's stomach was in knots as she imagined how the following conversation would go. Lorraine felt a wave of relief wash over her as they walked into the office and saw that Sonya wasn't there yet, Lorraine wouldn't feel comfortable arguing with Michael with her sister sat just outside. Lorraine checked her phone, there was a message on the screen which she hid from Nikki. After quickly reading it her mood had changed completely. Lorraine knocked hard on the door of Michael's office then pushed it open before he'd had a chance to invite her in.

"You are here then?" Lorraine said, questionably.

"Yes, what is this about?" Michael asked her, unenthusiastically.

"It's about the new deputy head." Lorraine told him cautiously.

"Ahh, we need to advertise quickly so we can get the interviews done." Michael proposed.

"We won't be needing that, meet your new deputy head." Lorraine announced, looking at Nikki to the side of her.

"Who? Nikki?" Michael retorted. Nikki awkwardly smiled, the knot in her stomach got worse due to Michael's initial reaction.

"Yes. You know she's the best woman for the job but you just can't admit it!" Lorraine replied.

"You can't make decisions about the running of this school without me, Lorraine!" Michael shouted.

"I didn't see you doing anything about it, did I?" Lorraine spat back.

"Is Nikki the most appropriate choice, after...you know?" Michael questioned, ignoring Lorraine's previous remark.

"This has _nothing_ to do with my involvement with Nikki!" Lorraine answered defensively. Nikki looked around the room, deliberating whether to join in or not.

"The other staff won't see it like that!" He told her.

"You don't _know_ what the other staff are going to think! She works here anyway, as head of the PRU or as deputy head of the school. What difference does it make?" Lorraine argued.

"It isn't a professional decision Lorraine, your feelings for her cloud your judgement." Michael replied calmly, ignoring everything Lorraine had said. It was the final straw, however nervous she was, however embarrassed, however scared of her involvement with Lorraine she was, Nikki could keep quiet no longer.

"In fairness to her, Miss Donnegan took time to consider what the best decision was for the school. She decided waiting to employ a new staff member wasn't a wise idea." This wasn't technically a lie. Lorraine suppressed a smile of gratitude towards Nikki at her calm response to the situation, she had tears in her eyes and Nikki's kindness was causing them to become difficult to contain.

"This isn't the time to take sides, will you two please just stay professional?" Michael answered, covering his own belief that Nikki _was_ in fact the choice he would have made...even after interviews.

"Nobody except you is taking sides here Michael, Nikki is never anything but professional and you know it!" Lorraine replied, exasperated. Nikki's heart was racing with anger and overwhelming nerves but the situation was getting out of hand. She reached a strong arm forwards to Lorraine, causing her to turn around. Whispering so that Michael couldn't hear her, she said, "Lorraine, it's not worth arguing over. I'm not worth arguing over. He doesn't like that you went over his head to appoint me."

"You _are_ worth defending though." She answered, trying to hide that she was choking back tears.

"Not like this Lorraine, not like this." Nikki told her, through almost gritted teeth. She regretted it as soon as it left her mouth but couldn't do anything about it.

"Fine, deal with it yourself then!" Lorraine retorted, whilst storming out of the door, her stilettos clipping the floor as she walked. Michael looked around awkwardly then said,

"Nikki, I mean it. Stay professional, don't let Lorraine make any more stupid decisions without consulting me."

"Stupid decisions? So my appointment as deputy is a _stupid_ decision?" Nikki answered, before she even realised what she was saying.

"I didn't mean that Nikki, but you do need to prove yourself." He told her.

Nikki decided she'd had enough and without another word, turned around and left his office. _What a way to start off the first day as deputy head._ She was angry at Michael for being so rude, but she felt dreadful because of how she'd reacted to Lorraine, who was only trying to be nice. Nikki's nerves and the earliness of the hour had prevented her from thinking before she spoke. Where was Lorraine? She looked at her watch, it was almost 8am by now and some of the staff would most definitely have already arrived. Nikki knew Michael would soon want to tell the staff about her new position with her and Lorraine both present. However, in that moment Nikki made the decision that even though Michael had told her to keep it professional, her feelings for Lorraine were more important. She fumbled in her handbag for her phone, it wasn't there. Then she remembered that it was in her pocket, so took it out and searched Lorraine's name in her phonebook. It rang for a moment or two and then Lorraine picked up.

"I'm sorry Lorraine, I didn't mean to snap-" Nikki began.

"Nik, it wasn't your fault." Lorraine answered, Nikki could hear the emotion in her voice.

"What's wrong?" Nikki asked her urgently.

"It's just... I can't tell you on the phone." Lorraine sighed.

"Where are you Lorraine?" Nikki replied.

"This is going to sound ridiculous... I'm in the staff toilets." Lorraine told her, the embarrassment lacing her voice.

"You don't sound ridiculous Lorraine, I'm going to come and talk to you." Nikki told her, knowing what the response was going to be.

"I'm fine Nikki, just go to the staffroom and let Michael tell them about your promotion." Lorraine responded.

"No Lorraine, please just let me come and talk to you!" Nikki said sympathetically. Lorraine knew that Nikki wouldn't give in and that made her feel embarrassed and grateful all at once.

"Okay then." Lorraine said, shyly.

Nikki's nerves surrounding everyone else's opinion on her promotion and her relationship with Lorraine were pushed to the back of her mind. Her stomach was still in knots, but Lorraine _doesn't_ cry, so something must have really hit her hard if she was crying.

* * *

Nikki walked into the starkly lit toilets and knew that nobody other than Lorraine would be in there so knocked on the only closed door. Lorraine wiped her eyes, smudging her mascara, opened it slowly and stepped out of the cubicle.

"Oh Lorraine." Nikki sighed sympathetically, hugging her close to her. Lorraine held her breath in an attempt to cease her crying because even though Nikki would never judge her, she still felt humiliated.

"Thank you Nik," Lorraine began quietly, her head buried in Nikki's shoulder, "I still think you should go and show your face in the staffroom."

"Lorraine, give up trying to get me to leave. I am not going anywhere until I know you're okay!" Nikki responded.

"Michael doesn't have a problem with you, don't give him a reason to have one." Lorraine answered.

"Lorraine, what's going on with you?" Nikki asked, her voice conveying her worry as she brushed a tear from Lorraine's cheek. As Lorraine looked at her nervously, she added, "You can trust me Lorraine."

"It's my best friend," Lorraine began, "I just found out from his wife that he was killed last night." She stopped, to try and fight the tears. Nikki took her hands in her own gently, Lorraine's nails were painted perfectly with grey varnish. She looked into Lorraine's eyes, encouraging her to continue.

"She told me he came of his motorbike. I haven't seen them for almost 5 years, I've spoken to them on the phone now and then but..." Lorraine trailed of, apprehensivly. Nikki felt her heart sink, even though she knew Lorraine so well by now, she still didn't think she would have such an attachment to anyone.

"He must have meant a lot to you, I'm so sorry Lorraine." Nikki whispered, squeezing her hands.

"Yeah, I've known him since we were teenagers. He went travelling and I concentrated on building up everything I've got now." Lorraine replied, walking over to the sink to sort out her make-up.

"Lorraine, don't feel guilty. It's not your fault!" Nikki insisted.

"I let my work get in the way and never made time to visit them," Lorraine began sadly, "No wonder everyone sees me as a work obsessed, money grabbing, bad guy."

"I don't see you like that." Nikki informed her, with a smile. Lorraine was still looking in the mirror as Nikki took a step closer to her.

"How _do_ you see me then?" Lorraine asked shyly. Stepping right up to her, Nikki went to wrap her arms around Lorraine's waist from behind but she turned to face her.

"I don't think it really needs saying," Nikki started, "Yes, you're powerful and rich...but you care about these kids more than-" Lorraine cut her off by kissing her on the lips with a smile. Nikki felt that surge of content consume her again.

"Now go to the staffroom with Michael, let me get myself sorted." Lorraine answered with a slight laugh.

"Are you going to tell him what's going on?" Nikki asked, in a tone that pre-empted her reply.

"No, I'm not. I'm not showing him how pathetic I am, Nik." Lorraine answered, shyly.

"You're not pathetic Lorraine, you're so far from pathetic." Nikki told her.

"Go on you, go to the staffroom before the staff have more reason to get at us." Lorraine told Nikki, with an awkward smile.

"As long as you're sure you're okay?" Nikki questioned.

"Yes Nikki, I'll see you in assembly first thing." Lorraine answered.

"Crap, I forgot about that. I told Michael I'd do something about homophobia aswell. I'm not so sure it that's the wisest idea." Nikki said nervously.

"Fuck it Nik, if you know what you'd say, go on and say it because after what you told me about yesterday, some of the kids here need a good talking to!" Lorraine replied, almost managing to keep up her usual happiness.

"I've got a few things written down, thanks Lorraine." Nikki told her and smiled at the ground.

* * *

Michael told the staff about Nikki's promotion, much to the surprise of Christine, Audrey and most of the staff. After they began to leave, Tom walked up to Nikki and patted her on the shoulder.

"Well done Nikki, you deserve it." He told her and she responded with a nod.

Nikki walked up to Michael and said matter-of-factly, "I assume you're going to announce my promotion to the kids in assembly," He nodded in reply, "So, when you do I'm taking that opportunity to say something that really needs saying!"

"Is that really a good idea?" Michael asked her.

"Michael, some of the pupils in this school _need_ to be shown that expressing such a homophobic attitude _isn't_ accepted at Waterloo Road!" Nikki replied calmly.

"Fine, I'm not going to stop you Nikki, but it's your own choice...your own responsibility." Michael answered, impatiently. Nikki was taking that as a resounding yes.

* * *

As Michael stood on the stage to speak in front of the pupils of Waterloo Road, Nikki could feels her palms sweating, she was so nervous she could hardly hear what was going on around her. Everything she'd wanted to say to the pupils had gone out of her head. Her chest was tight, her breathing quickened. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." She mumbled to herself as she tried to calm down. Her breathing wasn't slowing down and she could faintly hear Michael talking to a noisy hall of people. She ran her hands through her hair and closed her eyes tightly, fighting the feeling of light-headedness that was trying to take over her. Suddenly, she felt someone tightly grip onto her arm and she quickly opened her eyes to see who it was. It was Lorraine.

"Nikki, breathe. Come on. Just breathe. You'll be fine. Those kids need to be told." She whispered to her.

"I can't Lorraine, I'll just mess it up." Nikki answered quietly, between each shallow breath, making sure none of the pupils or staff near them could hear.

"Right then, did you say you had some stuff written down?" Lorraine said calmly. Nikki looked at her, slightly confused, whilst taking a folded piece of paper out of her jacket pocket.

"So, I'll go up there and say something." Lorraine told her, unfolding the paper.

"You can't Lorraine, you've got more important things on your mind." Nikki replied.

"Nikki, nothing is more important than us! You got that?" Lorraine squeezed her hands. Nikki's breathing had slowed now and her palms were no longer sweating, but her head was sore from struggling to catch her breath. She smiled at Lorraine and nodded. As Michael announced that Nikki was the new deputy head, an inaudible murmur rose from the pupils.

"Partners in crime...right?" Lorraine laughed.

"Okay, we're in this together then." Nikki smiled affectionately.

"I don't think there's anything else to say..." Michael announced, with a hint of question in his voice.

"Actually, there _is_ one more thing." Lorraine called, as she stood up. Michael looked around, almost angrily. Lorraine wasn't even thinking about what she was doing, she hoped words would just come to mind once she started to talk. She wasn't nervous, she wasn't really feeling anything at all.

"Right guys. This is only gunna be quick. I don't think all of you really want to hear what I am about to say, but you all _need_ to hear it. A person's gender or sexuality doesn't really affect anything about them, after all, they've always been that way. So just because you find out something about someone doesn't mean you can treat them with _any _less respect." Lorraine paused and looked around the hall, everyone seemed to be listening. She saw Barry Barry's face looking back at her, he seemed less sly than usual. She saw Robbie smiling; this was as much about him as it was about herself and Nikki. Lorraine had made sure everything she said could apply to both gender _and_ sexuality, after all, Robbie needed as much support as possible. Nikki smiled at Lorraine from the front row, a wave of content engulfed her as she saw the approval on so many faces.

"So, thank you for listening. Remember, don't treat people badly just because they're not the same as you. How would you feel if you were singled out for having brown hair? or blue eyes? or...okay, I'm sure you get my point!" Lorraine finished loudly, with a smile. Michael walked back to where he'd previously been stood, applauded Lorraine and smiled slightly. She didn't know, but she assumed this was his apology. Stepping down off the stage, she went and sat back next to Nikki who smiled warmly and touched Lorraine's hand.

"That was a hell of a lot scarier than most other speeches I've made." Her eyes were glazed with tears as she remembered the news she'd had just before all that.

"Lorraine, I'm always here for you. Don't you dare forget that!" Nikki whispered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you again to all of you who've read this. A big thank you to any of you who leave reviews on here or send them to me on Twitter, I am very grateful. I apologise in advance for this chapter... It's not as long as the last few and I honestly have no idea what is going on with it. Review as you please; the good, the bad...whatever x**

* * *

Lorraine knew that she was due to be stuck in a meeting until the early evening. It was the last thing she wanted, especially considering the fact she couldn't concentrate. Every time a room had been silent that day she'd drifted off, her mind wasn't in the right place. She was in a meeting with financial advisers, to discuss ways in which to make Waterloo Road more financially stable. She kept recalling memories she had of her friend, however hard she tried to block it all out, it managed to find a way through. She sat on her chair; fidgeting from side to side; the coarse fabric rubbing against her pencil skirt as she tried to look interested. She could hear two voices but wasn't listening, not really. The words departing the mouths of the business-like men sat directly opposite her were muffled and far away, barely a whisper to her. She caught the odd word of the conversation, but nowhere near enough of it to know what exactly was being spoken about. Faintly she thought she could hear her name being called, once...twice...

"Lorraine!" She _knew _that someone was calling her name now.

"Hmm." Lorraine began tentatively, hoping her response would fit all possible eventualities. Glancing at her watch she breathed deeply, the meeting was nowhere near finished, it had barely even started. She couldn't stay there anymore, she didn't know what she'd be agreeing or disagreeing to. She hated the feeling she had in her stomach, the churning and the dull ache that constantly reminded her that she usually managed to get through a meeting easily, no matter what else was going on in her life. Why did it have to be today? On the one day something in her personal life _really _affected her? Why did the meeting to keep her pride and joy; Waterloo Road; on firm financial footing have to be today? She decided that she had no choice other than to reschedule but she wasn't going to tell them why, she couldn't show her weakness and more so, she _wouldn't _show her weakness. Suddenly she had an idea. "Sorry, I need to take this call." Lorraine said as calmly as possible; touching her pocket; masking the wavering of her voice. Her phone wasn't really ringing but it was the most plausible excuse she could muster at short notice. Stepping out of the room she sighed, she hated that she was lying...but isn't that what most business people often do? After waiting for about a minute to pass; emotions hurtling through her head; she stepped back into the room and announced, "I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to go," tears choking her as she thought of her friend, "I'll ring to reschedule as soon as I can. I hope that's not a problem?" She finished. The faces of the two men looked kind; almost sympathetic; which irritated her further. _**Why do they feel the need to look at me like that?**_ These men didn't know Lorraine previous to this meeting so weren't aware how she usually behaved, nodding in response they picked up their things and left the office with Lorraine not far behind.

Lorraine drove home in her Ferrari; too fast as always; the windows open to let the breeze blow on her face. As she sped along the Greenock roads, the wind blew her hair into her eyes and after tucking it back behind her ears several times, gave up and closed the windows again. She wanted to think of something, anything, even nothing would do. Pulling up outside her house she stopped and looked at the clock among the large dials on the dashboard; it read 17:32; she couldn't comprehend how it was only half past five when she felt like she'd been awake forever. She felt as though all the energy had been drained from her, consumed by the power it took to hide her emotions. She didn't want to go into her house but at the same time, she didn't know where else she wanted to be. She leaned back in the Italian leather seat with a sigh, Lorraine wasn't used to feeling like this.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked herself angrily. She couldn't sit outside her house any longer, she felt ridiculous. Picking up her bag from the seat next to her, she got out of the car and slammed the door shut too hard. She stood at her front door, fumbling as she tried to get her keys into the lock, more out of frustration than anything else.

* * *

Nikki sat on the sofa in her flat, paperwork strewn across the coffee table in front of her. She wanted to get as much of it done as possible and then she could turn the tv on for the night. However much she liked her job, she always let the paperwork mount up. The monotonous signing of forms or ticking of worksheets was relaxing to Nikki, she didn't even find it particularly boring. She knew that now she was deputy head she'd have even more paperwork to complete on a regular basis and didn't want a backlog of PRU marking so early into the term. She slid the papers off her lap; they crinkled loudly which was a strangely comforting sound to Nikki; as she stood up to go into the kitchen and get herself a drink. She laughed quietly to herself as she almost slipped over on the laminate floor, making a mental note not to walk on it in socks too often. Jehan nudged his metal dish along the marble floor tiles in the kitchen, "D'you want some food Jehan?" Nikki asked. The cat mewed in response. Sometimes she could swear that he could talk...or at least understand what she was saying. She filled his bowl, poured herself a glass of lemonade; after deciding that paperwork and alcohol were too much of a tempting combination; then went to sit back on the sofa and continue her monotonous marking.

* * *

Lorraine was sat at her dining table, with her head in her hands and a glass of wine in front of her. She was wearing a plain pink t-shirt and a pair of baggy pyjama bottoms because they were the first things she found in her cupboard when she got in from her meeting. Usually she was so glad nobody could see her but today, she didn't care. Her cheeks were stained with tears that she couldn't contain any longer, much to her frustration. After realising her eyes were sore and her lips were dry, she looked at her phone which was near her on the table. Unlocking it, she looked at the time, in bold figures it read 18:27. She was debating whether to ring her friend's wife to offer her deepest condolences, constantly rehearsing different things in head, trying to work out what she'd say. How was she going to talk to her on the phone and give her support when she wasn't in a state to even form coherent sentences? She scrolled through the endless list of contacts in her phone; looking for her number; when she found it, she stared at it for a moment then locked her phone again. After the third time of doing this and after a few sips of her wine, she decided ringing now wasn't right...however much she wanted to. Just as Lorraine put her phone back down on the table, it began to ring. For a moment she didn't move, sat waiting to see if it would ring off, but it didn't. She looked at the Caller ID, it was Nikki. Lorraine panicked, her voice would make it clear she'd been crying but more than anything else, right then, she wanted to hear Nikki's voice, so she decided to answer.

"Hiya Nik." Lorraine said, doing poorly to hide the emotion in her voice.

"How're you holding up?" Nikki asked, kindly.

"I'm...I'm...not... I'm not too bad." Lorraine responded, nervously.

"Lorraine, tell me the truth." Nikki replied persuasively. Lorraine swallowed hard; choking back tears was getting repetitive by now; she couldn't decide what to do. Telling Nikki the truth would only make her worry, and lying meant she was in this on her own. A phrase Nikki had said to her during assembly that morning came to mind, "We're in this together." Whatever _this _was, suddenly meant anything and everything to Lorraine.

"Nikki...I don't know what to do." Lorraine sighed, fighting with the next inevitable onslaught of emotion.

"Oh Lorraine..." Nikki began.

"I don't want sympathy. I don't need...pandering too. I'll be fine." The woman answered, she couldn't bare to admit that she just wanted to hear Nikki's voice.

"You're _not _going to be fine Lorraine, I can hear you stopping yourself from crying. Let me come over." Nikki said insistently. Lorraine propped her phone between her left shoulder and her ear, as she ran her fingers through her hair; displaying how stressed she was. She considered admitting that all she wanted was Nikki there with her. She just wanted one of her strong hugs. At the same time, she wanted to be left on her own, she wanted to go to bed and finish off the bottle of wine she had open in the fridge.

"Lorraine?" Nikki uttered, sympathetically.

"Nikki..." Lorraine began quietly, wiping a tear from her cheek. _**Why am I crying again?**_

"I can't concentrate knowing how upset you are." Nikki told her, nerves lacing her voice. Lorraine put her phone down on the table in front of her and carefully pressed the loudspeaker button, making sure she didn't hang up. She stayed silent, her heart beating too fast, her hands locked together tightly, turning her knuckles white.

"Lorraine?" Nikki repeated, quieter this time. Lorraine could hear Jehan mewing in the background, which caused a small smile to creep across her face.

"Let me come over..." Nikki trailed off, still unsure whether it was the best decision.

"I...I...I..." Lorraine stuttered, not able to make the words in her head leave her mouth.

"It's okay, don't-" Nikki felt embarrassed now, it still wasn't really her place to butt in.

"No, Nikki. It's honestly fine... I just don't know what to do. I'm not used to this." Lorraine sighed.

"Lorraine, do you mind if I come over and see you?" Nikki asked kindly.

"Don't trouble yourself Nik, I'll be fine." Lorraine said, not too convincingly.

"I don't believe you Lorraine, it'll be no trouble...honestly!" Nikki replied automatically.

"You're too good to me Nik, but honestly...I'll be fine." Lorraine whispered.

"No, I'm not leaving you on your own..." Nikki started. Lorraine let out a deep breath, she wouldn't admit it but she was so grateful for Nikki's kindness.

"I'll be over as soon as I can." Nikki finished, putting the phone down.

Lorraine nervously looked around her kitchen and then drained the remainder of the contents of her wine glass.

* * *

Nikki knew it wasn't warm enough outside to be wearing just the pair of jeans and a t-shirt she had on, so pulled on a hoodie that was thrown on the floor near her. She drove to Lorraine's with no music on, all she could think about was the woman she respected so much in the work place and also admired and supported on a personal level. She'd never seen Lorraine like she'd seen her earlier that day and she _never _thought she'd see Lorraine hide her emotions as deeply as she had tried to during their previous phone conversation. She hadn't given her a chance to answer on the phone so her heart was pounding, not sure whether turning up at her house was a good idea...but she couldn't let Lorraine be on her own. She knocked lightly on the door, and after about two minutes, Lorraine opened it.

"Hiya Nik," Lorraine began with a forced smile, "Come in."

Nikki didn't know whether to cry or to smile. Lorraine looked so tired, her make-up was smudged and hair was messily tucked behind her ears. The skin around her eyes was pink, her lashes damp and tears glazed her eyes. It saddened Nikki _just _how beautiful Lorraine's eyes looked in that moment; to Nikki; she never failed to look totally beautiful. They went in and sat on Lorraine's leather sofa, in the living room.

"Come on, talk to me about it. Keeping it in won't help at all." Nikki said comfortingly.

"I don't know how to, Nik! I can't. How am I supposed to talk about it? What am I supposed to say?" Lorraine began to ramble. Nikki reached forward and gently held Lorraine's hand, reassuringly. Feeling a shiver down her spine at the sensitivity of Nikki's contact, she bit her bottom lip between her teeth and smiled slightly. Nikki met her gaze and held it for a moment until Lorraine leaned forward towards her.

"Lorraine-" Nikki was cut off by the feel of the woman's soft lips on hers. All Nikki wanted to do was get Lorraine to open up about how she felt but she knew it was too soon, after all, she'd only found out the news that morning. When someone's so used to hiding their feelings from everyone around them, even when they completely trust someone, they can't just open up straight away. Nikki raised her large hand to touch Lorraine's cheek, un-tucked a strand of her blonde hair from her ear and kissed her lips. Lorraine took a sharp intake of breath; a breath of happiness; and her eyelids fluttered shut. She touched Nikki's waist gently, kissing her quickly. Nikki felt Lorraine's smooth-skinned hand, cold on her warm stomach.

"You're...pretty...toned...aren't...you?" Lorraine whispered, kissing Nikki between each word. A smile danced across Nikki's lips as her hoodie was pulled off. Nikki kissed Lorraine's neck, the scent of her perfume taking over her senses. Then Nikki's t-shirt was pulled over her head by Lorraine, who let out a slight giggle. Nikki ran her fingers through Lorraine's messy blonde hair and then rubbed her nose against hers.

"You're...happier." Nikki told her, her voice conveying her pleasure.

"Well, not really happier. I'm _definitely _distracted though." Lorraine replied, her smile almost cheeky. Nikki looked at Lorraine, both women's eyes were laden with so many emotions which were difficult for the other to determine.

"It takes a very special person to cheer me up like-" Lorraine began to say, grabbing Nikki's waist again, welcomed with a kiss on the lips.

"Are you calling me special?" Nikki asked, her voice almost seductive.

"Maybe..." Lorraine giggled.

The tears had left her eyes, her complexion had brightened up and she had a smile on her face. Even if was only for a few moments, it was beautiful. The sound of Lorraine's frivolous giggle caused Nikki's stomach to tighten as she admired her innocence for a brief moment, whilst quietly thinking to herself, _**Lorraine is a special sort of woman. So mysterious. So intriguing. So captivating.**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to all those who keep reading this. Sorry it was a bit longer between updates, but my phone wiped so I had to start this chapter from scratch again. Also, same as last time, I don't really know what's going on with this chapter but the severe lack of Lorikki screen time during episode 22 (it was completely ridiculous) has encouraged me to write more...well...pure Lorikki moments. x**

* * *

The next day, sat in the staffroom being glared at with discontent by the likes of Christine and Audrey, Nikki couldn't feel any happier. She was trying to determine whether their discontent was due to her promotion or because of her relationship with Lorraine. She was happier than she'd felt in months, possibly in years. Still unsure why the women were glaring at her, she sipped warm instant coffee out of a brightly coloured mug. She usually didn't drink it because it reminded her of the weak stuff she occasionally drank during her years of service in the army, but strangely this time it felt creamy and indulgent as it touched her tongue. The aroma swirled into her nostrils, the early hour of the morning suddenly didn't seem all that bad any more. Picking up a tabloid magazine that someone had left on the table the previous day, she frowned at the front page, yet another headline about a celebrity's extravagant personal life. She wasn't one to look at magazines unless there was something particular she wanted to read, so she nonchalantly threw it down on the seat next to her. She quickly looked at her watch, it was 8 o'clock. She knew Lorraine would arrive any time soon, the thought of that made her feel almost warm inside, adding to her happiness. The tension in the room increased, her eyes darted around as if she was searching for something, perhaps the confidence to question the women, or perhaps the will to get up and leave.

_**Why should I leave?**_

She just wished she knew what they were thinking, they were silently judging her.

_**Not experienced enough to be deputy head? Not qualified to observe staff? Mixing business with pleasure? Sleeping with boss?**_

She had to stifle a laugh, who was Christine to judge her...wasn't she sleeping with _her _boss too? Her mind was suddenly full of a certain beautiful benefactor. Strictly speaking, she wasn't _quite _sleeping with Lorraine, almost...but not quite. Another look at her watch; 8:07am; Lorraine still hadn't arrived. A smile crept across Nikki's face as she remembered the previous night. She could feel Christine's eyes on her, trying to get inside her mind. The staffroom door creaked open, then the sound of heels clicking along the floor. Lorraine...it could only be Lorraine. Nikki's heartbeat increased, she nervously picked at a loose thread along the hem of her burgundy t-shirt and then pulled down her charcoal coloured blazer to stop her tugging a hole in it.

"Right!" Lorraine shouted from the doorway. Nikki's heart skipped a beat. Her voice sounded so perfect, Nikki loved her accent so much. She thought of that beautiful voice whispering sweet nothings into her ear the previous evening, that voice full of confidence and nerves, simultaneously. Lorraine had a spring in her step; she almost bounced as she walked across the staffroom; her leopard print stilettos barely making a sound now. Her blonde hair tumbled around her shoulders, encapsulating her in a blanket of fair curls.

"Where's Michael?" Lorraine asked. _**That accent again.**_ She shot a look of scepticism at Christine as she was the most likely person to know the answer. Nikki tried to look away, her heart beating too quickly, her eyes flashing all over the place. Lorraine turned to her with a smile that lit up her face. Nikki noticed her attire; she was all in black; a delicate lace blouse with three-quarter length sleeves and a tight leather pencil skirt. Leather _and _lace. _**Is this woman trying to stop my heart completely? **_Lorraine asked Christine the same question again and Nikki watched her lips as she spoke. Those perfectly formed lips. She remembered how gently those lips kissed her, how smooth they felt brushing against her skin, how they tasted faintly of sweet red wine. Her breath catching at the back of her throat was the only thing that stopped Nikki saying all this out loud and making the situation incredibly awkward.

"He'll be in soon. He's just had to pop and do something." Christine answered flippantly. Lorraine knew it wasn't school-related because nothing was planned and nothing needed sorting, well at least nothing that _he _could do. Michael was doing a personal errand after telling Nikki to keep it professional between them. _**Hypocrite!**_ Lorraine looked back at Nikki again, her eyes wide and alert. The woman noticed that even though her eyes were alert, they were dark because her pupils were dilated. She'd been crying. Nobody else would have noticed, Nikki only did because she'd observed Lorraine's face so closely before. Those eyes made Nikki's stomach twist with emotion. The ice-blue irises engulfed by her pupils but full of admiration, happiness and pain all the same. Nikki swallowed hard, stopping herself blurting out words of comfort in front of everyone. She wanted Lorraine to leave so she could follow her. She wanted Lorraine to ask her if they could have a word. She just wanted to be alone with her. A slight frown appeared between Lorraine's eyes, her brows furrowed slightly. Christine had stopped glaring at Nikki, now she was staring at Lorraine, doubt written all over her face.

"Anyway, surely you should know where he is? It is _your _school after all." Christine spat, Audrey seemed to nod in agreement.

"Yes Christine, it is _my _school. Be sure to remember that. It's _me _that pays your wages...not Michael." Lorraine responded relatively calmly, causing Nikki to shyly smile to herself.

"Excuse me Lorraine? I don't think you have the right to say anything in this situation!" Christine replied spitefully.

"What situation? I don't really see anything I would describe as a _situation_." Lorraine said, just as calm as the last time.

"You can't say _anything _when you've got the deputy head wrapped around your little finger!" Christine smirked.

"She wishes." Nikki mumbled from behind her hand, with a smile. She hadn't said it loud enough, so nobody got to appreciate her wit.

"I don't have her wrapped around my little finger...far from it." Lorraine answered, a hint of anger flashed into her voice as she defended Nikki.

"I'm not her puppet. Don't think that she can tell me what to do..." Nikki began to say, making eye contact with Lorraine and smirking slightly. She thought about the previous evening again. She may not always have control of her at Waterloo Road, but there's definitely times letting Lorraine be in control proves to be quite...liberating. Lorraine blushed slightly, she knew what was on Nikki's mind and in that moment she could think of nothing else. Christine coughed, clearly trying to get Lorraine's attention.

"I didn't promote Miss Boston so I could control her." The blonde woman smiled, still being surprisingly polite. Nikki's breath caught in her throat again at Lorraine's use of her surname, it almost made her feel dizzy.

"No, we know. You promoted her because you want to get in her pants!" Christine retorted and turned to Audrey for approval...she didn't get the look she was expecting. Audrey looked at her in disgust, even she realised that Christine had gone way too far now.

"You're so lucky that I am in a fairly good mood Christine, because _that _is crossing a line which you should _never _cross when it comes to having a conversation with your boss!" Lorraine chastised, her brow furrowed as she tried to stay calm.

"She didn't promote me to get in my pants; as you said Christine; and even if she did, since when was it any of your business?" Nikki spoke up, loudly this time. She couldn't let Christine get away with what she'd just said.

"It became my business when a photo of you two got plastered all over the walls of the school, Nikki!" Christine shot back.

"Do you think either of us wanted that?" Nikki began, gesturing to herself and Lorraine, "I didn't want the whole of Waterloo Road to know my personal life but they _do _now. I don't see Michael doing anything to punish Barry for it, has he even spoken to him yet?" Nikki's anger was bubbling under the surface, her happy tone faltering slightly.

"Well you shouldn't kiss her during school then. Also, Michael has had a few other things to deal with, he'll speak to Barry as soon as possible." Christine replied, refusing to back down. Lorraine was fiddling with the waistband of her skirt, trying to keep calm. Her eyes were glazed with tears again at the thought of her friend. _**Why did I have to think about him now?**_ She turned away and Nikki continued her dispute with Christine.

"It's not ideal, d'you think we aren't aware of that? We certainly won't do it again, I can tell you that for nothing." Nikki was still keeping her cool, "Barry Barry needs to be dealt with...don't let Michael forget. I'm telling you because you're _clearly _the one who wears the trousers in that relationship. Perhaps he'll listen to you." Lorraine bit down on her lips and took a deep breath, stifling a giggle at Nikki's very attractive, feisty side. Nikki was already regretting what she'd said but at least she was still relatively polite about it. Christine was most put out by what Nikki had said, probably because she knew it was all true.

"Are we all finished now Christine?" Lorraine asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Turning to face Nikki, she raised an eyebrow and smirked slightly making Nikki's stomach tie itself in knots. She just wanted to kiss her there and then, with Christine watching, but she wasn't that stupid. Her heart was racing, practically willing Lorraine to leave the staffroom soon, so she could get her alone. Lorraine absentmindedly twirled a strand of fair blonde hair between her slim fingers and looked all around the room. There were a few other staff members sat to the side of where the women were arguing; unsure what to do; all trying not to laugh. Tom wasn't there and Lorraine wondered if he was in his office that he shared with Nikki. She assumed he would be, after all, Tom isn't the sort to not turn up for work without letting anyone know. Even so, deep down she wanted him not to be there because she knew Nikki was in her office for first period today as the PRU kids were in the presentation room for a talk on business management and development.

She looked back at Nikki with a nervous smile as she walked over to the kitchen area to make herself a cup of tea. She just wanted to be alone with Nikki. She looked at her and momentarily closed her eyes, savouring the thoughts running through her mind. The previous evening dominated her memory, blocking out the bad news she'd had 24 hours ago. Nikki's chestnut hair clenched between her fingers, her blue eyes piercing any tension there was in the room and her heart racing, causing her chest to rise and fall rapidly. Her toned stomach muscles rippling as she stretched to keep contact with Lorraine, her strong arms holding her close and her lips roughly covering her upper body in staccato kisses. The smell of Nikki's perfume engulfed her, sweet and sensuous, it took her a fair few moments to realise this wasn't a memory. She quickly opened her eyes to see Nikki stood next to her, filling a mug with water to make a tea. Christine was muttering something to Audrey but was getting frustrated as she ignored her. Lorraine wasn't in the mood to think, just in the mood to do. She reached an arm forwards and grabbed Nikki's waist, making her jump slightly.

"Stop it." Nikki whispered happily, she wasn't in the mood for any more of Christine's rubbish today so wanted to avoid giving her more ammunition.

"C'mon then, let's go somewhere a bit more...private." Lorraine answered with a wink and an adorable smile.

"_Lorraine!_" Nikki tried to protest, but couldn't stop herself giggling slightly.

"Right, hope everyone's day's good!" Lorraine called as she sauntered across the staffroom, her hips swaying slightly and her curls bouncing on her shoulders. Nikki picked up the mug of tea she'd made for Lorraine and followed her out of the staffroom.

* * *

"Is Tom going to be in your office?" Lorraine asked with a smile.

"No, he's sitting in on the talk with the PRU kids so I can get my paperwork finished." Nikki answered, walking in the direction of the office she and Tom shared.

"Well...shall we?" Lorraine replied cheekily. Nikki nodded and laughed. Her smile made Lorraine's heart race. Both women had a niggling doubt in the back of their minds. _**We shouldn't be doing this in school!**_ Pushing open the oak door into the office with one hand, Nikki smiled again, causing Lorraine to blush slightly. She placed the mug of tea down on her desk; the liquid rippled as it tried to spill out; and invited Lorraine to sit in her chair. Nikki went back to lock the door behind her, Lorraine was watching how she walked again. She still did it, she just couldn't help it. Perching on the edge of her desk with her right leg crossed towards Lorraine, Nikki smiled.

"What does Michael see in that woman?" Lorraine asked, puzzled.

"Who? Christine?" Nikki asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"Yes, Christine. She's just so rude and...and...and..." Lorraine struggled to find the words to express how much she disliked Christine.

"I know what you're trying to say, it's fine." Nikki shyly smiled.

"I mean, who does she think she is saying the only reason I promoted you was to get into your pants?" Lorraine answered, anger lacing her voice now, "I wouldn't do that! How would that even help?"

"Oh, you never know though." Nikki replied with a wink. Lorraine twirled a loose curl around her finger and smiled.

"What're you saying, Miss Boston?" Lorraine's voice was cheeky, so seductive Nikki could hardly breathe. She studied her face, those beautiful eyes still full of pain but now filled with anticipation aswell. Nikki could see Lorraine's eyes observing her, scanning over her face and body. Lorraine looked at Nikki, savouring the illuminating smile she had on her face. She stood up from Nikki's chair, pulling on the hem of her leather skirt to cover her thighs again. Nikki's heart was pounding, her breath quick. She didn't know whether any of this was a good idea...but at least her boss couldn't catch them, considering it was her boss who was instigating it.

Lorraine leaned on Nikki's right leg until she uncrossed it, to make it easier to reach her lips. Nikki's hands clasped at Lorraine's shoulders; just where her neck ended; the skin was pale and soft against her rough hands. Lorraine's lips were nowhere near Nikki's yet but she could already taste the coffee on her breath. Her gentle hands came to rest on Nikki's waist; under the fabric of her blazer; causing Nikki to relax. Lorraine shifted her weight more onto the balls of her feet and leaned in to Nikki, leaning her own forehead on the other woman's. Their eyes now met, both women's piercingly blue eyes aligned, any fears now lost in the midst of their. admiration for each other. Lorraine's lips shimmered with the thin coating of gloss which covered them, Nikki admired the simplicity of Lorraine's make-up for a moment. Her lips were warm, touching Nikki's lightly at first, then harder. Her breaths were short, too short maybe, as she bit down gently on Nikki's bottom lip. Entangling their fingers, Nikki kissed Lorraine's neck. It tasted of her perfume, it almost tasted of pineapples. Lorraine's eyes were closed, savouring the feeling of Nikki's lips expertly kissing the pulse point of her neck. There was still a niggling doubt in Nikki's mind that this was a bad idea, she couldn't risk it...no matter how much she wanted to stay in her embrace with Lorraine. It just wasn't professional.

"Lorraine, we can't do this now!" Nikki mumbled, kissing Lorraine on the lips again.

"Spoil sport." Lorraine replied with a smile, quickly biting Nikki's bottom lip.

"I mean it Lorraine, we _can't_!" Nikki repeated.

"Who's going to stop us?" Lorraine asked with a slight laugh.

"I am Lorraine! Please, just stop. It's not like we don't have chance to do this somewhere where we know we won't be interrupted." Nikki was still smiling, but she took her hands off Lorraine's shoulders.

"Spoil sport." Lorraine said again.

"C'mon you, stop it! Just stay here in my office with me, talk to me, cheer me up...but no funny business." Nikki told her, her voice husky, making Lorraine want to kiss her all over again.

"Me? Funny business? How dare you say such a thing Miss Boston!" Lorraine responded with a smile.

"Oh will you stop it!" Nikki laughed, "Pull up a chair and do something useful."

"Excuse me? You're not the boss of me!" Lorraine told her with a warm smile.

"Have you rang your friend's wife yet?" Nikki asked nervously, her tone much more sympathetic now.

"No Nik, I can't. I just don't know what to say." Lorraine responded, her eyes flicked to the ground in embarrassment.

"Come on, why don't you ring her now? I'm here for you Lorraine." Nikki said reaching out her hand in support, Lorraine's nails got caught on Nikki's gorgeous ring that she always wore on her left hand, as she tried to entwine their fingers.

"I don't know what to say though Nik!" Lorraine protested.

"Once you ring her you'll just _know_. She'll be grateful just to hear your voice Lorraine. She's going to have had loads of people patronising her, just talk to her like you would do...she'll be glad, honestly." Nikki told her, comfortingly, rubbing her thumb on the soft skin of Lorraine's palm.

"Thank you Nikki. You really do know how to make me feel at ease," Lorraine breathed, taking her phone out of her handbag, "What would I do without you?"

"Pfftt, I don't know about that. I think I make most people feel uncomfortable," Nikki sighed with a smile, "We'd both be nervous wrecks without each other."

"You don't make _me _feel uncomfortable Nik, you make me feel more comfortable than anyone else I've ever met." Lorraine smiled, her eyes glazed over with tears again. After pulling over a chair that was behind Tom's desk she began searching through her phone book for her friend's number. Nikki took hold of Lorraine's hand again, her palms had turned clammy as she pressed the call button. It rang for a few moments, and then there was a crackle at other end of the line. Lorraine gripped Nikki's hand, digging her nails in...Nikki didn't even flinch, she just gazed into Lorraine's eyes, showing that she believed in her.

"Hiya Claire." Lorraine began, trying to hide the nerves in her voice.

"Lorraine! How you doing?" Claire replied, her voice wavering slightly.

"Probably better than you are," Lorraine began sympathetically, "Everyone been hanging round you...you know, like it is?"

"To be honest with you Lorraine, they've left me to it. You know what I'm like." Claire answered.

"Aw, I can't imagine-" Lorraine began, her voice shaking. Nikki smoothed the skin on the back of Lorraine's had to reassure her.

"Lorraine, I'll get through it." Claire responded, hiding the emotion in her voice...or maybe the news hadn't really sunk in for her yet.

"Well you know I'm only a phone call away. Let me know...when...you know..." Lorraine fumbled with her words, tears pricking her eyes.

"I'll let you know once we've planned it all...it won't be long." Claire replied, obviously understanding that Lorraine was talking about the funeral.

"Okay. See you... soon." Lorraine finished, putting the phone down and letting out a deep breath of relief.

"See...you managed it Lorraine," Nikki smiled, "She was glad to speak to you, like I said."

"Thank you Nikki, honestly I don't know what I'd do without you." Lorraine answered, awkwardly twirling a strand of hair between her fingers.

"I already told you...you'd be a nervous wreck!" Nikki giggled, slightly biting her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Come here you." Lorraine breathed, her heart racing again.

"No." Nikki protested, her voice laced with sarcasm.

"Fine then...I'll come to you." She answered, flicking her curls over her shoulder as she stood up from her chair. She touched Nikki's cheek gently, sending shivers through her body. Nikki's perfume filled her nostrils as she leaned forwards. Their lips collided, that sweet combination of coffee and lip gloss playing with their senses again.

"Oh Nikki, you really are a fantastic kisser." Lorraine breathed, Nikki could feel a smile dance across her lips mid kiss.

"Same goes for you Miss Donnegan." Nikki giggled, kissing Lorraine again.

"Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." Lorraine laughed.

"Ooh fine then, after all, you _are _the boss." Nikki replied with a sly wink, pulling back from the kiss. Both women sat in silence for a moment, admiring each other, savouring the moment. Savouring the passion.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to everyone who's still reading this, to be honest though, I still don't know why you stick with it. Reviews are always nice, if you get a chance. Let's hope there's a few PROPER Lorikki scenes for us in tomorrow's episode. **

**P.S- It's very unlikely that I'll write a sex scene in this fic, but if I do, I'll do it when I think I can write one well enough not to spoil the rest of the story. So basically, in the kindest way... please don't keep asking me about it because it'll make no difference. X**

* * *

Nikki sat at the desk in her office, watching the hands of her watch intently as they silently crawled around the face. She was keeping an eye on the time because she knew that her next lesson involved a one-to-one session with Barry Barry. Her stomach churned at the thought, she couldn't bare to think about how he'd behave, she currently couldn't think of anything worse. She clenched her teeth; squaring her jaw; as she told herself to get a grip. _**He's just a kid, what's the worst that could happen? **_What was she thinking? This is Barry Barry, even if he doesn't _do _anything, he can still easily ruin her mood with just a single glance. Her heart was racing, she could feel it through her blazer, beating too fast. She rested her head on her hands and concentrated on her breathing, trying to slow it down, trying to stop her mind whirring into overdrive and making her state of panic even worse. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping that by not looking at her watch, time would stop...give a her chance to compose herself again.

"Nikki."

She half-heard someone say her name, she couldn't determine who it was and she didn't bother to react.

"Nikki!"

She heard it again, this time the person placed a hand on her back, between her shoulder blades. Nikki shrugged it off, opened her eyes with a start and lifted her head to see who it was.

"Jesus Tom, you frightened the shit out of me!" Nikki shouted automatically. She hadn't even noticed him come into the office. _**How long has he even been here?**_

"Sorry Nikki, I didn't mean to." Tom said quietly, "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm good." Nikki answered, faking a smile and wringing her fingers together, her knuckles turning white.

"You looked a bit...distracted when I came in." Tom muttered, choosing his words carefully, making sure not to offend Nikki by telling her she looked upset.

"Just a lot on my mind." Nikki responded awkwardly.

"Well if you're sure..." Tom started, "We better get going, be ready for next lesson."

Nikki visibly tensed up, her shoulders raised as she thought about Barry. She knew nothing would get done in the half hour she had in which to tutor him, but she had no choice but to do it anyway. After picking up her handbag that contained her lesson plans and the photocopying she'd manage to get done, she quickly pulled her blazer on and got up from her chair as seamlessly as possible.

"You sure you're alright?" Tom asked again, genuine concern lacing his voice. Nikki gritted her teeth and swallowed hard, without turning back to face him.

"_Yes_. I'm fine." Nikki answered, her words too clipped, too emotionless. Before Tom could ask her any more questions, push the issue any further, she turned around and left. She let out a deep and wavering breath of fear and relief as she tried to fight off the tears pricking the backs of her eyes. _**Why does Barry get to me so much? He's just an attention seeking little boy!**_

* * *

The bell rang to signal the start of next lesson. Nikki's blazer was slung over the back of her chair and her bag on the floor under her desk so it was out of sight. Her phone was in front of her, a slightly shaking hand locked and unlocked it repeatedly, the sound distracting her from what the next half hour would entail. Her mind was a mixture of Barry Barry's hapless wit and Lorraine's neat blonde curls, sweet lips, perfectly pale skin, sensuous perfume, her accent... _**I need to snap out of it! For God's sake! **_She folded her arms across her chest defensively, her toned muscles visible as the sleeves of her burgundy t-shirt wriggled up slightly further. She closed her eyes for what could only have been a moment or two, centring herself mentally, trying make her face look as naturally emotionless as possible. Barry Barry wasn't going to see Nikki Boston cry, fuck it, Barry Barry wasn't even going to see Nikki Boston bat an eyelid at his ridiculous gags and innuendos. A single, hard knock on the door of the PRU startled Nikki, she knew it was Barry so beckoned him in...resentfully of course.

"Alright Miss?" Barry chirped, his voice full of mock and disapproval.

"Uh-huh." Nikki replied, followed by a slight nod.

"Looking good," He replied, "What you dressing up for? Miss Donnegan?"

"Right, let's go through this worksheet." Nikki answered, ignoring the first of Barry's many quips about her relationship with Lorraine.

"So you are then?" He smirked.

"Hmm." She responded, placing a sheet in front of him slightly too forcefully.

"So you're not then?" He said, his eyes showing just how sly he was being. Nikki sat to the side of Barry, trying to create the largest amount of space possible between them, whilst still being able to read off the same worksheet.

"We read this a few days ago, now I'm getting you to analyse it." She stated matter-of-factly.

"This is shit, you know that..._right_?" Barry spat. His behaviour was even worse than usual. Nikki swallowed hard several times, hoping it would dull the nagging ache in the pit of her stomach, created solely by her nerves.

"Each to their own. Do you understand what Lady Macbeth is saying in this soliloquy?" Nikki asked, managing to remain calm and relatively collected.

"Nah, I don't care Miss," Barry began, his voice sly and sarcastic, "She just sounds like some sort of lezza."

Nikki dug the nails of her left hand into the fleshy part of her thigh, a release. A release she was more used to than she admits, even to herself. She gritted her teeth, her upper lip twitching slightly as she tried to stay calm. As strange as it may sound, Nikki had always loved Lady Macbeth's Soliloquy since she was a teenager...it kept her calm when everything around her was out of control. Unfortunately, this time in particular, it also reminded her of everything she wanted to forget. _**No, not now. Don't think about it now.**_

"Touched a nerve Miss?" Barry hissed, he raised his eyebrow a fraction.

"Nothing you say bothers me Barry." Nikki answered, trying desperately hard to keep her voice calm and emotionless.

Barry looked at her and then back at the paper on the table in front of him, picking up a pen Nikki had placed there. His eyes flicked over the first few lines, "Unsex me here?" he questioned. Nikki stayed silent.

"What's that? Like she saying she wants to have sex or something?" He continued. Nikki couldn't decide whether he was being genuinely serious or acting up on purpose to irritate her, or a combination of the two.

"No Barry, that's not what it means," She breathed, through slightly gritted teeth, "Don't forget, you're on your _last _chance. I mean that."

His eyes flicked over a few more lines, he laughed loudly and said, "Come to my woman's breasts...?"

Nikki hesitated, expecting him to continue, which he did.

"You would, wouldn't you Miss? Like a bit of breast don't you?" His smile almost evil by now.

"If you concentrated on reading the passage and trying to understand it, as much as you concentrate on me, we'd be a lot better off by now." Nikki answered, unconsciously digging her nails deeper into her thigh, her breath uneven as she bit down on her tongue to contain her anger.

"It's hard not to concentrate on you Miss," Barry began, his voice still sly but its common sarcasm was replaced with subtle seriousness, "You know...when..." he leaned forwards on his seat slightly, "...when you're so..._interesting_." He said the last word quieter than the others, softer. His hand flinched, he moved it forwards on the table slightly, trying to reach out to hold Nikki's hand.

Nikki felt sick, she couldn't even move a single muscle in her body. Her nails were still digging into her thigh, she didn't even realise, she didn't feel it anymore. She tried to open her mouth to speak but nothing came out, her lips dry with nerves. Her breathing was becoming more erratic as she tried to keep her face neutral. Swallowing deeply again she considered whether it was worse to speak or to stay quiet. If she said something without thinking it would just create more of an issue, but if she stayed silent she'd be accused of not being professional. _**For fuck sake, they don't teach you this at university, do they!? **_She stood up from the chair, her thigh began to sting now that her nails were no longer putting pressure on it. She saw that Barry's eyes followed her as she walked over to the desk. Her stomach churning. She closed her eyes for a fraction of a second, just long enough to picture Lorraine's piercingly blue eyes staring at her, just long enough to distract her from the situation. As soon as she opened them again, her panic returned, her stomach was tied in knots, too many emotions bottled up. She longed to hold Lorraine's hand, she wanted to see her, but Nikki knew she was off site at a meeting. The meeting would be over and Lorraine would be back at Waterloo Road any time soon...but 'any time soon' wasn't soon enough for her. She sat down at her desk, her palms were clammy and her breathing still too fast. With a shaking hand she unlocked her phone on her desk, there was a 'new message' icon on the screen.

"See how much of that you can translate into everyday language within the next 10 minutes." Nikki muttered to Barry, not even bothering to look at him. Not _wanting _to look at him.

Navigating through her phone with nervous hands, to read her new message, was stressful. The message was from Lorraine. 'Go and kick his arse. Xxx' The corners of her lips turned up slightly...not enough for it to be described as a smile, but nearly. Another text was underneath it, 'Not literally, I don't want to have to fire you! Xxx' This time Nikki smiled properly, her stomach twisted itself into more knots as she read the texts off Lorraine, hearing them in her head being spoken in Lorraine's voice. She typed a reply quickly and then placed her phone back down on the desk. Barry Barry coughed to get her attention but she ignored him. She looked at her watch, 11:22am.

"I'm going." Barry announced, standing up from his seat over dramatically.

"Whatever, but just you remember...you crossed a line. Don't think I won't go to Mr. Byrne with this because I _will_!" Nikki retorted, her voice wavering slightly as she mentioned Michael's name. Barry began to walk out the door of the PRU, stopping only to turn back and shoot a wink at Nikki. Her blood was boiling, the frustration under the surface was making her feel dizzy. She could go straight to Michael now, she knew she _should _go straight to Michael, but she just couldn't face him. She could talk to Tom...no, he's one of the few staff members she trusts but he's patronising, he makes her feel uncomfortable. Who's the only person who makes Nikki feel comfortable? Lorraine, _of course_. Her phone kept sliding out of her hands; her palms now sweaty from trying to calm herself down; she typed a message to Lorraine, 'Are you almost back at W R yet? Xxx' As soon as she sent it she felt weak, tears pricking her eyes, welling up so quickly she had to tilt her chin to the ceiling to prevent the tears from falling and marring her cheeks, as they were threatening to do. Lorraine's reply was swift, 'Almost back at base. How's you? Xxx' Nikki swallowed hard, her stomach felt as though there were a hundred butterflies inside, trying to escape. Lorraine seemed happy and Nikki didn't want to be the one to ruin that by moaning constantly. After typing a reply which made her sound less of the fucked up, nervous wreck she appeared to be, she nervously sent it and put her phone away in her blazer pocket. She pulled her blazer back on, more as a comfort than anything else. Lifting her bag off the floor she haphazardly made sure the worksheets she needed later were all in there and then she stood up, causing a pain to shoot up her left thigh. _**What the hell is wrong with my leg?**_ Suddenly, she slammed her hands down onto her desk to steady herself as her head started spinning, black dots speckled her view, her lips were bone dry, her limbs numb and a thin film of sweat formed on her forehead. She closed her eyes, she didn't even know why she bothered panicking anymore when she had shortness of breath or a panic attack, because she'd dealt with it for far too long now...she wasn't used to it by any means but it did stop her being so scared. Her chest was painfully tight and she blinked hard, momentarily plunging herself into darkness, she needed to be in an enclosed space. She walked towards her and Tom's office constantly hoping that he wouldn't be there. She couldn't face him. As she pushed the door open; letting out a sigh of relief on realising she was alone; her phone began to ring. Fumbling to get into her pocket, whilst still mildly disorientated and holding her handbag, was never going to end well. Her handbag fell to the floor, spilling some of its contents across the carpet. Nikki answered the phone without even looking at the caller ID, she automatically assumed it was Lorraine.

"Alright Nik?" She asked kindly. Nikki smiled, her heart beating faster at the sound of Lorraine's voice.

"Yep." Nikki answered, a little too abruptly.

"You in your office or the PRU?" Lorraine questioned, a tone of worry lacing her words.

"My office." Nikki mumbled, it was all she could manage, as coherent sentences refused to part her lips. Her lips were dry and each breath caught at the back of her throat, only contributing further to her sickness. She sat down on her chair, resting her chin delicately on her knuckles, after roughly shoving the papers back into her handbag.

Lorraine's heels clipped the floor as she quickly bustled through the stark warren of Waterloo Road's corridors, towards Nikki's office. Her meeting had been completely pointless, other than proving that she can quite easily drink 4 cups of coffee within the space of 45 minutes without feeling ill. She lightly wrapped her knuckles on the oak door, whilst wriggling her leather skirt a bit further down her thighs again, and then pushed the door open. She smiled brightly, her caffeine-lit eyes a fraction too wide, tilting her head to the side slightly to look at Nikki.

"Aw Nik, what's happened?" Lorraine breathed sympathetically as she saw Nikki hunched over her desk. She looked so vulnerable, so tormented. Her face was covered but her body language was enough to show how she felt. Nikki smiled to herself but couldn't bring herself to look up at Lorraine, embarrassed by the tears ebbing at her lids, threatening to stain her cheeks. A constant reminder of how weak she felt. Her thigh was burning, she didn't want to consider whether her nails had drawn blood but she thought it was likely.

"Nikki, it's alright. You can talk to me." Lorraine bit down on her lip, her brow furrowed slightly as she walked over to Nikki and placed a hand gently onto her back. Nikki felt comforted, it was different to when Tom had done it earlier, it felt as though an electric current was passing between them, binding them momentarily. Lorraine bent her knees slightly, holding her skirt as she did so, so she was on the same level as Nikki. She reached out a hand slowly and brushed the woman's chestnut brown hair away from her face and tucked it behind her left ear, deftly. Nikki's heart was racing, she lifted her chin off her hands and looked at Lorraine shyly. A flutter of sadness flew over Lorraine as she looked into Nikki's blue eyes, they were the deepest blue she'd seen, almost sapphire now that they were clouded with tears. Lorraine took Nikki's hand in hers, returning the supportive favour Nikki had done for her whilst she was on the phone earlier that day.

"Fucking Barry Barry." Nikki mumbled, swallowing too often as she tried not to fall apart.

"What's he done Nik? He doesn't usually get to you like _this_." Lorraine said, leaning in closer to Nikki's face, her still panicked breaths leaving her lips rapidly.

Clutching onto her hand, Nikki took a deep breath, "After all his usual bullshit," her voice wavered, "He made a pass at me. I think he was probably joking but..."

"What the hell? How did you react?" Lorraine exclaimed, staring at Nikki, her eyes filled with confusion and consideration.

"I couldn't do anything, I did absolutely _nothing_. I actually felt ill." Nikki choked on the tears threatening to cascade down her cheeks. She didn't want to give Barry the satisfaction of making her cry, but Lorraine's kindness made it so difficult not to. Lorraine placed a single finger under Nikki's chin and turned her head back to towards her own, so their lips almost met.

"Nikki, we'll sort it, I promise. We'll have to tell Michael though." Lorraine breathed, leaning forward a fraction more and planting a quick kiss on Nikki's prominent cheekbone. As quickly as it was planted there, the sensation it induced was gone. Nikki just wanted to kiss her soft lips and let herself be held in Lorraine's arms, but Lorraine got up from the position she'd been kneeling in and perched on the edge of Nikki's desk. She didn't let go of Nikki's hand for a single moment, and that was something she was terribly grateful for. Nikki thought that if she wasn't holding onto Lorraine, everything they had between them would come crumbling down around her. She was scared that if she let go, Lorraine would leave her alone and she couldn't bare to be alone right then.

"C'mon then Boston Bruiser, what exactly happened?" Lorraine giggled, briefly winking at Nikki, her voice compassionate and concerned simultaneously. She didn't know whether using the nickname Barry Barry had dubbed her with a while back was the best idea, considering the situation, but Nikki's eye's lit up with a flash of genuine happiness. That nickname had sort of just stuck, every now and then someone would call her it, but hearing Lorraine say it made her stomach flip somersaults. Nikki's body felt numb, all she could now feel was Lorraine's grip on her hand and all she could hear were the words leaving the blonde woman's mouth. Lorraine had an almost magical ability to make her feel so much calmer. Nikki wiped her eyes with her free hand and sat up straighter in her chair, taking a deep breath as she ran one hand through her hair in a hope of releasing the excess stress she could still feel inside her. Nikki began to explain the events of the lesson to Lorraine, more confidently now, totally trusting of her. As Nikki spoke, both women traced eachother's faces with their eyes, taking in every detail. Lorraine's gaze was fixed on Nikki's lips as she spoke, admiring the almost lilting quality to her accent. Nikki admired Lorraine's eyes, as she so often did, watching as they flickered across her own features. Once Nikki was nearing the end of her explanation, the tension between the two of them was almost unbearable. Lorraine's heart was beating quicker as she touched her tongue to her lips and Nikki subconsciously copied her. Their gazes burning into the other's eyes, as if they were locked in their state of adoration. Lorraine shifted forwards slightly to make it easier to lean towards Nikki, but suddenly there was a loud and firm knock on the door and it swung open. It was Tom. They both looked at eachother, their faces bathed in confusion. What was Tom doing there now? He was supposed to be teaching.

His voice was tentative but urgent, "You need to see this Nikki...and I think you do too Lorraine."


	10. Chapter 10

**The lack of Lorikki in this week's episode was ridiculous...but it seriously needs to be Thursday right now because I can't wait much longer to see that kiss. I'm sorry if the conclusion of the cliffhanger from the last chapter is disappointing, i don't even know. Review if you can, good or bad. X**

Lorraine decided that she had had enough of it, she couldn't stand it anymore. _**Fuck professionalism. **_Did it even really apply to her anyway? After all, she's not a teacher or strictly even a member of staff. Lorraine Donnegan is Waterloo Road's benefactor, she's the money and the brains behind it all, she's the reason it's there to begin with...so surely she can do whatever she wants? She confidently reached out a hand to Nikki as they stood silently in the car park of Waterloo Road. Nikki practically grabbed it, longing to feel the comforting effect of Lorraine's smooth-skinned hand in her own, entwining their fingers. Nikki's teeth were gritted, standing there next to Tom and holding Lorraine's hand tightly. She felt ridiculous, she felt childish, she felt ashamed. Most of all she was angry. She turned her head to the left to look at Lorraine, needing to see her face, to see those beautiful blue eyes again. Lorraine smiled sympathetically, trying to disguise the anger bubbling inside her. Nikki turned the other way and looked at Tom, who was mostly just looking confused and possibly anxious because he should be teaching. His classroom looked out onto the car park, so everyone inside the class can hear what's going on outside when the window is open like it had been right then. A few faces were peering out through the curtains, they were Year 9's, bloody Year 9's. Tom knew he couldn't leave them there on their own any longer otherwise when he got back the classroom would be trashed and someone would probably be knocked unconscious...that's the sort of class they were.

He looked at the women apologetically and said, "I'm sorry. I've got to go...that group of year 9's aren't safe to be left on their own!" He smiled awkwardly.

"It's fine Tom, honestly." Nikki replied.

"Go on, I don't want your year 9 class to descend further into a state of anarchy," Lorraine responded with a sigh, "There's clearly enough of that already."

Nikki and Lorraine were left alone in the car park but the faces of the inquisitive members of Tom's class still peered out at them. Nikki looked away from Lorraine and regretfully looked back to what was in front of her. She looked at her black 4x4, her brilliant car, but unfortunately it wasn't so black or brilliant anymore. The sun was glaring down on Greenock, right over head, causing Nikki to have trouble seeing what was in front of her. That wouldn't have been such a terrible thing. Sunlight danced menacingly on several shards of glass that were scattered near the front wheel of Nikki's car. The passenger side window of her car was now either on the tarmac of the car park or; like the majority of it; covering the interior on the passenger side. Nikki squeezed her eyes tightly shut, hoping this was a nightmare, but as she opened them again she remembered that the smashed window wasn't her main concern. Right across the bonnet of her car was the word 'Dyke', sprayed there with bright pink spray paint. Nikki felt sick, her stomach still in knots due to her unwelcome encounter with Barry Barry.

"Fucking bastard!" Nikki practically shouted, a sob cutting through her voice.

"We don't know that it was him Nik." Lorraine soothed, her eyes filled with a plethora of emotions.

"Who else is it going to be Lorraine?" Nikki asked through gritted teeth, tears pricking the backs of her eyes once more.

"I don't know Nik, but you can't assume it's Barry, it'll only make the situation worse." Lorraine responded, doing well to bury her anger to make sure Nikki didn't do anything stupid.

"Lorraine, you _know _it's him!" Nikki retorted, she didn't even feel upset, she just felt angry now, "What's the point in damaging my car? What's he trying to prove?"

"Nik, darling, I'm sorry," Lorraine breathed, her upset and sympathy being conveyed in her voice, "This never would've happened if I'd _made _Michael get rid of Barry before now."

Nikki's heart felt as though it was in her mouth, "You called me darling..."

"Um...I'm...um...sorry..." Lorraine replied nervously, she hadn't meant to say it, it just slipped out.

"No, Lorraine...it's fine. It's _more _than fine. You're really cute when you're worried." Nikki giggled. Lorraine felt dizzy with happiness, she wanted to kiss her there and then but she knew she couldn't...she couldn't jeopardise Nikki's career _that _much.

"If you remember Lorraine, it was _me _who convinced you to keep the kid here. The PRU is perfect for kids like Barry...that's the problem." Nikki told Lorraine, still holding onto her hand tightly and looking into her eyes.

"It's different now though Nik, I don't think we _can _keep him here!" Lorraine replied, quieter now.

"I know Lorraine, I know that," Nikki responded nervously, "He's committed a serious crime now, it's criminal damage."

"Right, we're going to go to Michael now and tell him. Get it over with." Lorraine smiled kindly.

"Must we? I can't face him now... I just...I just... I just want to be alone with you." Nikki fumbled with her words, Lorraine's beauty had dulled Nikki's anger and now all she could think of was Lorraine's touch and the taste of her glossed lips. Her heart was beating too fast, she was fighting her urge to pull her close to her and kiss her in the middle of the car park.

"We can't Nikki." Lorraine mumbled, she didn't want to say it but she knew she had to.

"You don't mean that Miss Donnegan." Nikki said provocatively, touching her tongue to her lips.

"I didn't say I didn't _want _to... I just said we _can't_!" Lorraine responded, failing at faking her innocence, "We have to tell Michael about all this stuff with Barry...whether we want to or not." Nikki frowned slightly, making Lorraine's stomach flutter. Her self-restraint was being tested to breaking point, Nikki's flirtatiousness was affecting Lorraine way more than she could usually bare.

"Nikki...you're beautiful, you know that don't you?" Lorraine breathed.

"Stop it Lorraine, if I can't kiss you please just stop talking." Nikki whispered, biting her bottom lip slightly.

"Right...we're going to speak to Michael now and then spend the remainder of the school day waiting for it to end." Lorraine smiled warmly, starting to walk away from Nikki's car in front of them, "I'm still so sorry about your car Nik."

"It's only a car, I can get another one eventually. It's not the car that is the problem...it's the homophobia, it's the tormenting," Nikki nervously continued, "It feels like when I was at school."

"Oh Nikki," Lorraine sighed, squeezing her hand again, "I want to hear all about that later...if you don't mind?"

"I...um...okay then, if you're sure?" Nikki mumbled, clearly unsure about opening up about this thing in particular.

"Only if you want to. Now come on Miss Boston, let's go and get Barry Barry a good telling off, once and for all." Lorraine looked into Nikki's eyes warmly, reassuring her that she wouldn't let Michael belittle her authority any more.

* * *

Lorraine knocked on the door of Michael's office. She no longer cared what he thought of her relationship with Nikki or her decision to promote her. She'd had enough of all the terrible things that Barry Barry had caused at Waterloo Road.

"Come in." Michael called, he seemed in a short tempered mood. The women looked at each other, conveying their apprehension in a single glance. Nikki ran her clammy hands through her hair roughly and squeezed her eyes closed. Lorraine knew she could have kissed Nikki there and then but she didn't want to cause any more trouble.

"Come in!" Michael called, more impatiently this time. "C'mon then, Boston Bruiser." Lorraine smiled and rolled her eyes sarcastically, causing Nikki to giggle slightly.

Lorraine then pushed hard on the office door and it swung open.

"Oh, the wanderer returns." Michael exclaimed, his voice full of his discontent.

"I've been off site at a meeting Michael...about the running of _this _school." Lorraine quickly snapped back.

"I meant after that Miss Donnegan." Michael replied, his use of her surname made her feel very different to when Nikki said it. She suddenly felt like a pupil of his all over again, nervous to continue, so she glanced at Nikki who was sat down in the chair opposite Michael. Nikki took a deep breath and swallowed hard, preparing to speak.

"First of all, we need to do something about Barry Barry. I had a...um...I had an encounter with him in the PRU earlier on." Nikki began, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke.

"What sort of _encounter_?" Michael said, a slight confusion filled his voice.

"He...well, he sort of made a pass at me." Nikki responded, her eyes flickered around the office nervously, wanting to look anywhere other than at Michael.

"Surely you should have come to see me straight away?" Michael said with chastisement, as he leaned forward in his seat and placed his elbows on his desk intently. Nikki swallowed hard again, her palms extremely clammy by now. Her left hand lay oh her leg and unconsciously she clenched her fist causing her nails to dig into her thigh again. She _knew _she should have seen Michael immediately. She felt a hand gently on her shoulder, Lorraine's slender fingers tight around her shoulder cap, sending a shiver through her body.

"Well there was another _incident _which we were alerted to...that's why Miss Boston here couldn't see you straight away." Lorraine spoke confidently, rubbing her thumb on Nikki's shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't get involved Lorraine." Michael mumbled.

"I _am _involved Michael, there's nothing you can do about that now." She replied, defending herself and Nikki adequately.

"So...what's this _incident _you two?" Michael asked, slightly more nervous now that Lorraine was involved to, he was used to how persuasive she could be.

"_Someone _has damaged my car." Nikki announced, her eyes darting around the room again.

"Damaged?" Michael questioned.

"Smashed the passenger side window, and...and..." Nikki stuttered.

"And _what _Miss Boston?" Michael asked.

"Graffiti-ed on my bonnet. They graffiti-ed the word _dyke _on..." Nikki's voice trailed away, her anger retuned but now it was twinned with upset. Lorraine leaned down slightly further onto Nikki's shoulder, her breath moved strands of the woman's chestnut hair causing them tickle the side of her neck.

"I'm sorry about your car Nikki, I really am." Michael responded, quieter now_**. **_

_**Why is it just about the car? The car does even matter that much.**_

"Soooo..." Lorraine prompted him.

"So, I'll speak to Barry about the incident in th PRU...but your car is a matter for the police to handle." Michael told Nikki, matter-of-factly.

"Don't forget the photo issue aswell." Lorraine mumbled.

"How could I forget the photo issue Lorraine? Nobody has forgotten that," Michael was almost shouting now, "The staff doubt your competence. The pupils don't show you as much respect. What _do _you expect?"

"I don't see how my sexuality affects my competence," Lorraine began calmly but firmly, "and frankly, being open about it should _gain _respect, not lose it."

"There's being open about your sexuality and then there's parading it around for all to see." Michael shot back.

"In all honesty, we weren't _parading it around_. We simply kissed during our lunch break in an empty room...that's a very uninteresting parade, in my opinion." Nikki responded, as she felt Lorraine's breathing quicken against her neck.

"Okay, it may have been unfair to say you were parading it round...but it's true that staff doubt your competence Lorraine." He replied, calming slightly now.

"Their doubt comes from your bit-on-the-side, Christine's, big mouth. She's the one who quizzed me this morning in the staffroom." Lorraine's voice was laced with a hint of laughter now, over how ridiculous all this was.

"Michael, you've known Lorraine a long time. You _know _she would do nothing on purpose to put this school's reputation in danger. She loves this school... more than she'll let me say." Nikki stated. She felt Lorraine awkwardly shift on her heels as Nikki said the words.

"Is that right Miss Boston?" Michael snapped, "I'll keep that in mind next time she gets on the wrong side of the staff shall I?"

"You can't deny she does good for this school, it wouldn't even exist without her." Nikki reminded him.

"That is very true Nikki, but if you two get yourselves caught up in any more awkward situations like this photo one...I'm going to have to do something about it, at your end." Michael declared, calmly now.

"Get this sorted out first though, eh Michael?" Lorraine asked.

"Yes Lorraine, I'll speak to Barry now and contact the police about your car Nikki. Don't count on them finding who it was if there isn't any evidence." Michael responded.

"Thank you. What about CCTV? That might show who it was." Nikki smiled, cautiously.

"That camera hasn't been working since before Easter." Michael disclosed.

"You didn't think to tell me?" Lorraine shot back immediately, stood up again by now.

"I did try, but you were...caught up...doing other things." Michael announced.

"Well try harder next time." Lorraine's voice was quiet, as she felt a pang of guilt deep down in her stomach.

"Remember, I'm keeping my eye on you two," Michael declared, waving a hand in their direction as he stood up, "I'm going to look for Mr. Barry now, so get out of here before I get back." Michael walked out of the office and closed the door behind him. Both women let out a sigh of relief once they were sure he was gone.

"Utter knobhead." Nikki said quietly.

"Who? Michael or Barry?" Lorraine questioned, her stomach tight because of how strong Nikki's accent came through when she had just spoken, it was gorgeous.

"Take your pick." She smirked warmly.

"Watch yourself!" Lorraine giggled. Her eyes flicked down to where Nikki's hand was on her thigh, her knuckles turning white by now.

"Nikki...what are you doing?" Lorraine asked nervously. Nikki turned her face away from her.

"Oh...I don't know." Nikki sighed, dropping her hand down by her side.

"Nik, tell me anything, I don't mind." Lorraine reassured her, holding onto the woman's right hand.

"It's just...it's...I don't know I'm doing it. I only do _that_, nothing else...not anymore." Nikki mumbled, tears pricking the backs of her eyes.

"I'm here for you Nik." Lorraine whispered.

"Honestly Lorraine, I don't know I'm doing it." Nikki replied, turning back to face her. Their eyes met and Lorraine leaned forward to kiss her. Her lips still tasted the slightest bit of coffee, Nikki smiled as her eyelids fluttered shut.

"Promise me you'll talk to me?" Lorraine asked mid-kiss.

"I promise..." Nikki answered, quickly kissing Lorraine again, "I feel like a child saying that."

"You certainly don't kiss like a child." Lorraine giggled, her lips pressed against Nikki's.

"Oh my God Lorraine. Stop it. Michael will be back any minute." Nikki breathed, provocatively.

"Meet me at the end of the day?" Lorraine smiled, kissing Nikki again.

"Well...would be nice, considering my not having a car situation." Nikki replied.

"Oh yeah...that would make sense," Lorraine laughed, "Maybe we'll know what's happening about your car by then."

"I bloody hope so..." Nikki responded, remembering that she was supposed to be teaching Barry again last lesson.

As if reading her mind, Lorraine said, "I'll tell Sonya to make sure Michael keeps Barry out of lessons for the rest of the day. If we're lucky, he might be with the police anyway."

"Thank you. However, I'm not getting my hopes up Lorraine. I bet you there's no proof it was that sod." Nikki muttered.

"I didn't think you were a betting person Miss Boston." Lorraine giggled shyly.

"Oh stop it! You know what I mean!" Nikki smiled, quickly kissing her lips again. She got up from the chair and rested her hands on Lorraine's hips as she kissed hard against her lips again.

"We really can't do this now, imagine if Barry walked in." Nikki laughed.

"It is a bit dangerous...but...it's exciting." Lorraine giggled, touching her tongue to her lips.

"Barry Barry catching us again isn't dangerous...it's essentially a bloody death sentence." Nikki declared.

"Okay, okay you. Now shift and get out of here." Lorraine laughed, wriggling out of Nikki's arms.

"See you later Miss Donnegan." Nikki mumbled, gave her a quick wink and planted a delicate kiss on her soft lips.

"Go on! Get out!" Lorraine exclaimed.

"Make me!" Nikki smiled innocently. Lorraine pushed gently against Nikki's shoulders.

"Don't make me do that Miss Boston...I mean that." Lorraine grinned. Nikki kissed her lips once more, turned around and then walked out. Lorraine watched as she walked away with a slight sway in her hips, bit down onto her own bottom lip and then followed behind her.

From then, both women began their clock-watching, willing the time to pass quickly so they could spend time alone with each other again.


	11. Chapter 11

**I have absolutely no idea why this chapter has ended up being so damn long, there just wasn't a way I could split it into two chapters... So yeah, sorry if I bore you all to death with it. Are we all prepared for tomorrow's episode? No...probably not. Anyway, if you read this and can leave a review I would really appreciate it. X**

* * *

It was almost 4:30pm, the pupils had all gone home by now, after all, this was Waterloo Road...they weren't likely to stick around any longer than necessary. Lorraine was sat in the driver's seat of her Ferrari, parked at the front of the school, waiting for Nikki to finish speaking to the police about her car. She hoped they'd found some evidence to prove that it _was _Barry Barry, but at the same time she knew that would _definitely _result in an argument with Carol Barry and that was something she could live without. She stopped for a moment.

_**I'd rather argue with Carol Barry for the rest of my life, than see Nikki like I saw her earlier.**_

She smirked to herself at how soppy she felt for thinking that, but at the same time it made her feel warm inside. She'd been occasionally unlocking her phone to check the time, wanting it to pass quicker than it ever could. She intermittently tapped her fingers on the steering wheel, the dull and repetitive sound distracted her from her thoughts. She was thinking about what Nikki had said earlier _"I only do that, nothing else...not anymore"_ She reacted in the same way every time she thought of it, the same as when Nikki said it, tears pricked the backs of her eyes and her limbs felt almost numb. _"Not anymore"_ Before hand, Lorraine thought she knew Nikki pretty well, but those two words proved otherwise, she didn't even know half the story. She was worried she'd pushed too hard when she'd asked Nikki about it, she didn't want her to think she's sticking her nose in where it didn't belong.

_**She didn't think that, did she? She kissed me. She was fine about it, wasn't she? **_

Lorraine looked up from the steering wheel and saw Nikki walking out of the double doors and down the steps, with a slight sway in her hips and her handbag slung roughly over her left shoulder. She was walking too fast, too forcefully. _**Bad News.**_ Lorraine closed her eyes tightly for a moment, took a deep breath and stretched across to open the passenger side door.

As soon as Nikki was within hearing distance, she called out to her, "What did they say?" her voice laced with concern.

"Gimme a minute." Nikki responded quickly, with a sigh, practically throwing herself down onto Lorraine's Italian leather car seat. The Ferrari smelled like rich leather, coffee, vanilla and Lorraine's sweet perfume...she could only think of one more thing that would make it even more welcoming. Lorraine reached her hand forwards and touched Nikki's right leg tentatively, avoiding meeting her gaze. Nikki's breath caught in the back of her throat at the sensitivity of Lorraine's touch, she was unsure what to do because her mind was so full of the words the police had been saying but at the same time she knew kissing Lorraine would make her forget it all for a while. _**I'm not like that. I don't do things like that. **_Lorraine now held her gaze, wondering what she was thinking about.

"What did they say Nik?" Lorraine asked again, her tone more urgent now.

"They've got nothing on him, Lorraine. Absolutely _nothing_!" Nikki retorted.

"Aw Nik, what're they doing with your car then?" Lorraine asked, rubbing her thumb reassuringly against Nikki's thigh. Nikki took a deep and shaky breath, her stomach tightened as a shiver ran through her body. Lorraine's touch was like electric. Lorraine's heart was racing as she concentrated on Nikki's face, tracing the familiar features with her eyes.

"Unfortunately, I've had to get it towed to the garage and then they'll replace the window and respray it," Nikki answered eventually, "It'll cost a bloody fortune, I may aswell buy myself a new car."

"I'll give you the money if you want?" Lorraine asked casually, "It's not like I don't have it to spare."

"No, no, no. I don't want that Lorraine!" Nikki blurted out, "I didn't mean it like that! Oh God, I didn't want you to give me the money!"

"Don't be silly! I don't mind Nik, I wouldn't have offered if I did." Lorraine protested.

"No, seriously Lorraine... I can't use your money!" Nikki began, "Anyway, now I'm deputy head I'll be getting payed a bit more every month...that should cover it fine."

"I don't need reminding that you're my deputy head," Lorraine smirked, failing miserably at staying serious, "You've caused me enough trouble this week it will be impossible to ever forget you're my deputy."

"Oi! I'm more than just your deputy, Miss Donnegan...aren't I?" Nikki smiled wryly.

"No, no Nikki, you're much more than just my deputy head." Lorraine leaned forward, putting more of her weight through the hand resting on Nikki's thigh. She quickly nipped the pale skin of her neck, just below her ear, the skin felt soft against her lips. Nikki tensed up at Lorraine's contact, thoughts swirling through her mind rapidly, making her feel slightly light-headed.

"Lorraine...stop it. Please, just give me a minute. I need to clear my head." Nikki mumbled, her tone too clipped, too snappy.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Lorraine breathed, so quiet her words were barely audible.

"No... darling, I'm sorry... I didn't... I shouldn't... I shouldn't have snapped." Nikki managed to say, her words were jumbled and nervous.

"It's okay Nikki." Lorraine reassured her.

Nikki's eyes flicked around, she felt annoyed with herself for how short she'd been with Lorraine.

"I mean it, it's fine! I'm sorry if I pushed you too much earlier about...y'know." Lorraine apologised anxiously.

"No, you didn't... It's just... Well I..." Nikki struggled to form coherent sentences, causing her to get annoyed with herself even further.

"Nikki, if you don't want to tell me, I don't mind-" Lorraine informed her, before she was interrupted.

"I do want to... it's just... Oh, it doesn't matter," Nikki sighed, "Where are we going later then?"

"I've got just the place." Lorraine said mysteriously, nonchalantly winking at Nikki.

"Sounds intriguing." Nikki laughed, causing Lorraine's stomach to flip excitedly.

"Seat belt on? Don't want any more catastrophes today...do we?" Lorraine's voice was laced with mock authority, she did it on purpose because by now she was fully aware of the effect it had on Nikki. As she started the ignition, Lorraine saw a warm smile form on the woman's lips which swiftly widened into a grin. _**I wonder what she's thinking about.**_

"What're we doing then?" Nikki asked, as Lorraine sped out of the gates after a few moments of savouring the happy atmosphere.

"Thought we'd stop at yours to give you chance to get changed, call at mine for the same reason and then we can go on from there." Lorraine responded, not taking her eyes off the road now.

"You do like to make things hard work, don't you?" Nikki replied quietly.

"Yes, it makes everything a bit more interesting." Lorraine giggled.

"Interesting might not be the word I'd choose," Nikki smirked, "But other than it seeming terribly hard work, that sounds like a plan."

* * *

Lorraine perched herself down on the edge of Nikki's sofa and stared at the clock on the opposite wall, she was unsure what to do with herself whilst Nikki was getting changed. Jehan bounded across the room from the kitchen and jumped up onto Lorraine's lap, where he immediately settled down and mewed contently. In her bedroom, Nikki sifted through the pile of clothes she had neglected to put away, looking for something to wear. Wriggling out of her charcoal coloured trousers, she added them to the pile on the floor and picked up a pair of pale blue, weathered skinny jeans. As she had pulled off her work trousers she'd dragged her hand roughly across her thigh, unfortunately rekindling the pain which had dulled by now. The pain shot through her leg and she quickly sat down on her bed, looking at the pale red nail marks denting her skin. Her skin was marred with the evidence of her past battles for control of herself, thin white scars traced across the soft skin. Tears welled up in her eyes as she thought about the story behind each of those scars, not wanting to remember but also not wanting to forget. She didn't know how she was going to tell Lorraine any of it, but she knew she wanted to. Lorraine was the only person she trusted, she wanted her to know. She just hoped she'd understand. She swallowed hard, she refused to cry as she shoved her feet into the legs of jeans awkwardly. Nikki smiled to herself as she heard Lorraine talking to Jehan. _**I wonder if he's answering her?**_ Nikki smirked as she couldn't help imagining that...but the fact Lorraine had resulted to conversing with a cat prompted her to hurry up and get ready. She found a loose-fitting black and white striped t-shirt in her wardrobe and quickly pulled it over her head and tucked it into her jeans. She flicked past the range of different coloured blazers in her wardrobe until she found a jet-black leather jacket, quickly pulling it on as she contemplated which shoes to wear. She wasn't used to thinking about clothes, she mostly just threw stuff on and didn't really give it a second thought. She put her favourite pair of white leather boots on and went back to where Lorraine was sat.

"You look stunning." Lorraine breathed, smiling shyly as Nikki ran her long fingers through her chestnut hair.

"C'mon then, let's get to your house now." Nikki said casually.

"Right, let's go then." Lorraine responded, getting up from Nikki's sofa.

* * *

As they drove to Lorraine's in the Ferrari, the two women stayed quite quiet, only acknowledging each other by occasionally making eye contact. Both were content in the silence, but Nikki's mind was still running through how she would be able to tell Lorraine any of what she wanted to. Before she knew it, Lorraine was pulling into her street.

"There's no need for you to come in, I'm only changing my top. I'll only be a few minutes." Lorraine announced, her accent harshly cutting into the silence.

"Okay, no problem." Nikki smiled, surprised that Lorraine was even willing to let anyone be alone in her car. She felt stupid for thinking it, but she felt like it was Lorraine's way of showing her that she really did trust her.

After about 10 minutes, Nikki looked at Lorraine's front door to see the blonde woman carefully locking the door behind her. She precariously walked along her path, she'd changed her shoes and they were higher than the ones she'd previously been wearing and her feet still hadn't adjusted. As she got closer to the car, Nikki could finally see what she was wearing, a pale pink blouse with grey butterflies on it. Her leather skirt more visibly hugging her hips now, her slender legs complimented perfectly by the height of her heels. Nikki bit her bottom lip as she admired Lorraine through the car window.

"Alright Nik?" Lorraine chirped as she got back into her car, being careful not to catch her handbag on anything.

"You look beautiful." Nikki replied, not being able to think of anything else, not being able to take her eyes off Lorraine's lips. She leaned forwards after a few seconds and kissed her, savouring the taste of Lorraine's freshly applied lip gloss.

"C'mon, we need to go. It's almost half 6." Lorraine mumbled, her little breaths soft against Nikki's lips.

"They do say time flies when you're having fun." Nikki giggled, sitting back in the seat as Lorraine started the ignition.

* * *

The restaurant had looked small and nothing particularly special from the outside, but once they were inside it stretched back further than Nikki had expected, and had a welcoming feel to it.

"Ahh, good to see you, Ms. Donnegan," a male waiter with a strong French accent said as they walked into the restaurant, "And who are you Mademoiselle?"

"This is my...friend, Nikki." Lorraine replied, hesitating, unsure whether to say she was her friend or her girlfriend. Unsure whether saying 'friend' had offended Nikki at all, Lorraine turned to look at her, met with a smile of reassurance and understanding.

"Ahh, I haven't seen you here before, Nikki." the waiter responded, clearly showing him and Lorraine were quite well-acquainted.

"I don't get much of a chance to eat at places like this." Nikki admitted awkwardly.

"Well where do you and your _friend _wish to sit, Ms. Donnegan?" He asked, Nikki picked up on how he emphasised the word 'friend', "Your usual spot?"

"No, maybe one of the boxes...are any free?" Lorraine responded.

"Oui, oui...there is a spare one over there," he replied enthusiastically and gestured to the far side of the restaurant.

"That would be wonderful," Lorraine answered, "You're a star."

"Anything for a valued customer like yourself." He finished with a smile, picking up two leather bound menus and starting to stride over to the table he had suggested. Nikki and Lorraine followed just behind, Lorraine acknowledging the table she tended to sit at if she had a business meeting.

"Here we go ladies, I hope you enjoy your meal. If you are wanting anything, I'm sure Lorraine won't mind asking." He placed the two menus down on the table with a flourish and then walked away.

"He's a nice fella." Nikki laughed as Lorraine sat herself down on one of the wooden chairs covered with a leather cushion.

"Yeah, I've been coming here for business meetings on and off since I moved up to Scotland." Lorraine responded tentatively.

"So is this just another business meeting?" Nikki asked, a slight seriousness in her voice.

"No, no Nikki, definitely not. I made an effort to sit at a different table because my usual one is right at the centre so I don't get stuck on my own with clients." Lorraine smiled warmly. Nikki's heartbeat quickened slightly, as she studied the blonde woman's face.

"What do you recommend for me then?" Nikki asked, before even picking up the menu, her voice light and chirpy.

"Hmm...the pastas are a favourite of mine, but everything is pretty delicious." Lorraine responded, after a moment of consideration.

"I trust your refined pallet, so I'll blame you if it's horrible." Nikki smirked.

"I've got nothing to worry about then! The tomato pasta is my favourite dish here." Lorraine answered.

"I'll have that then," Nikki told her, "I don't want any alcohol...I can't bare the thought of working tomorrow with a hangover."

"Sounds like a plan." Lorraine replied, beckoning her waiter friend back over to order their food. Lorraine's efficiency was still as though she was in work, she was tense and nervous.

"Relax." Nikki whispered, after a minute or two, smiling shyly at Lorraine.

"I know, I know. I will, it's just... well, I keep thinking about what you said earlier, y'know?" Lorraine responded, her voice still sounded nervous.

"Oh... Lorraine, you don't need to worry about that-" Nikki began, but Lorraine interrupted.

"I want know, Nik, if you're still willing to tell me?" Lorraine declared.

"I... well... when I was in my teens, when I first told people I was gay it was all fine..." Nikki hesitated, swallowing hard, "But then soon people didn't like it, they stopped talking _to _me...that didn't stop them talking _about _me though." Nikki stopped for a moment to carefully take a sip of the lemonade which she'd ordered.

"So yeah... I was pretty good with all that stuff, it didn't bother for a while but then my parents found out that I was gay and..." Nikki's eyes flicked around the room, not wanting to meet Lorraine's gaze as she stared intently. She closed her eyes for a split second as she felt Lorraine tentatively reach her hand forwards. She was still surprised how open Lorraine could be, considering she'd never had a girlfriend before. Feeling Lorraine holding onto her hand gave her a new wave of confidence to carry on.

"They... let's say... they weren't too happy about it. They refused to talk about my sexuality, so as the bullying in school got worse the ignorance at home added to all of it." Nikki paused.

"Your food Mademoiselles." The waiter said, placing their dishes of pasta in front of them. Lorraine flinched, automatically wanting to take her hand away so he didn't see. _**Fuck it, he doesn't even matter! **_She kept holding onto Nikki's hand and turned to the waiter.

"Merci." Lorraine quickly said, then turned back to meet Nikki's gaze.

"Can you speak French?" Nikki asked, going totally off topic.

"Maybe, you'll have to wait to find out." Lorraine smiled cheekily.

"So yeah... I had nobody. Lorraine, I've never really had anybody. So my best friend became the things I did when I was alone, my distraction." Lorraine squeezed tightly on Nikki's hand, fending off the tears precariously ebbing at her lids.

"I'd never wanted to join the army, I just did it to prove a point. I wanted to prove to my parents I was going to do whatever they told me not to, and it was to prove to myself I wasn't weak." Nikki continued, "Only it just ruined me even more."

"Nikki..." Lorraine breathed, not knowing what else to say.

"I don't do relationships. I don't do _this_. I don't talk about things. I don't do casual meals... It scares me, Lorraine." Nikki responded, her pale cheeks blushing to a faint scarlet.

"I don't want this to scare you Nik, it's the last thing I want." Lorraine reassured her, leaning over and tucking a strand of her chestnut hair back behind her ear.

"I'm supposed to be good at this, I've had girlfriends, you've never even had a girlfriend and you seem so sorted about it all." Nikki told her, so quietly it was difficult for Lorraine to hear.

"I'm not sorted about it, not at all, you just make me feel so comfortable and so safe it's difficult not to be more confident around you." Lorraine mumbled.

"Oh Lorraine..." Nikki began, more confidently now, "Barry Barry just bothers me so much because that little sod reminds me of a kid who was one of worst when I was at school." She twirled several strands of spaghetti on her fork and added then with a smile, "I sounded so ridiculous then." Her cheeks turning a darker shade of red now.

"Nikki, you're not ridiculous. You know I'm here for you, right? I'm not just going to leave without warning. I think you're amazing Nik, I honestly do, you're so brave." Lorraine replied, twirling her blonde curls between her slim fingers, holding Nikki's gaze as her heartbeat increased.

"I'm not brave Lorraine, how can I be brave if I couldn't even manage to win a fight with myself?" Nikki retorted, her voice laden with emotion. Lorraine's stomach twisted as she heard the mixture of emotions as Nikki spoke, her lilting accent softening her words. Lorraine took Nikki's other hand carefully in her own and smiled warmly.

"You _are _brave Nikki, you're the bravest person I know. You didn't lose that fight with yourself... if you had... well... you know," Lorraine stuttered, "You're amazing."

A single tear slid down Nikki's cheek, meandering effortlessly across her smooth skin. "Lorraine... Lorraine... You really can be such a softie!" Nikki giggled, so grateful of the words she'd just heard.

"You tell anyone how much of a softie I am and you'll pay for it." Lorraine ordered, genuinely meaning the words she said.

"Sounds like it could be fun, if you know what I mean?" Nikki shot back with a wink.

"Don't do it. Do _not _go there. Public place and rapidly cooling dishes of pasta. Do *not* distract me!" Lorraine replied, her smile turning Nikki's insides to jelly, she felt like it was the first time she'd been alone with Lorraine, all over again.

"Yes boss." Nikki giggled.

"_Stop it!_ It's your birthday soon isn't it?" Lorraine piped up, after battling with a stray piece of spaghetti.

"It is, yeah... How d'you know?" Nikki inquired, wondering if she'd mentioned it and didn't remember.

"I may have looked it up in your file." Lorraine responded with a coy smile.

"So you do in fact know exactly when my birthday is, but just thought you'd ask anyway?" Nikki laughed.

"Something like that..." Lorraine remarked, fumbling around in her small shoulder bag. She took out a plain white envelope and pulled out it's contents. She waved two slips of paper in front of Nikki's eyes, it took her a few moments to actually realise what Lorraine was holding. They were tickets.

"What d'you think then?" Lorraine asked excitedly.

"What're they for?" Nikki inquired.

"A certain musical show we share a common interest in..." Lorraine mumbled, with a smirk, "Les Misérables, in case you hadn't worked that out."

"Really?" You're not joking? I wouldn't say that interest is really the most suitable word, it's more like an obsession... I just do well to keep it hidden." Nikki smiled, her heart racing, she could quite easily kiss Lorraine from across the table but was fully aware that they were in a restaurant and didn't want to make Lorraine feel awkward.

"You have a cat called Jehan, I don't consider that to be hiding your obsession," Lorraine laughed, "It's the end of next week...consider it an early birthday present from me?" Lorraine continued, admiring the twinkle of anticipation in Nikki's blue eyes.

"Yes, yes definitely...if you're sure?" Nikki responded, blinking too quickly as she tried to ignore the urge to kiss Lorraine.

All of a sudden, their lips were colliding._** Who'd even instigated the kiss? **_Nikki's nose was filled by Lorraine's expensive perfume, as she moved a stray curl of her hair out of the way.

"Of course I'm sure." She breathed, barely moving her lips away from Nikki's.

"In that case...I'd love to!" Nikki muttered, leaning back regretfully into her seat, realising that a few people had begun to stare.

"Une femme sans amour, c'est comme une fleur sans soleil." Lorraine whispered.

"So you _can _speak French!" Nikki exclaimed, failing to hide her happiness.

"Oui Mademoiselle." Lorraine replied coyly, playing up to the fact Nikki found her French incredibly attractive.

"Can you get any more perfect?" Nikki responded flirtatiously, her eyes were still full of negative energy, full of embarrassment and of nerves. She didn't open up to people, she'd never really opened up to anyone before, Lorraine was the only person who knew...and even she still didn't know the full story.

Noticing the change in Nikki's body language, her heart was racing again at her flirtatious tone, Lorraine just held onto her hand and took a sip from her glass.

"Did you and your _friend _enjoy your meal Ms. Donnegan?" The waiter asked, as he picked up their dishes. He still emphasised the word 'friend' and this time Lorraine noticed aswell.

"Okay, okay... she's my girlfriend." Lorraine told him quietly, a smile dancing across her lips even though she tried to suppress it.

"I would not have ever guessed." He laughed sarcastically, his words jumbled because he couldn't quite think how it made sense in English.

"Girlfriend, eh?" Nikki asked, almost provocatively.

"Yeah...girlfriend. If that's alright?" Lorraine added nervously.

"Yes, it's more than alright Lorraine." Nikki informed her, with a wry smile.

"It's still weird, all this, it just doesn't seem real. I'm still not used to being...well... human." Lorraine whispered.

"It is real, I promise you Lorraine... it really is real. Anyway, you're doing a pretty good job of being human." Nikki giggled, biting her bottom lip slightly. Lorraine looked past her long, mascara-covered lashes and smiled at the woman across the table.

"Les temps sont durs pour les rêveurs." Lorraine whispered.

"You're not dreaming... so you've got nothing to worry about." Nikki replied, a huge grin spreading across her face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry this chapter took a little longer to get written but I couldn't concentrate after Thursday's episode. I can't even explain how Thursday's episode made me feel. Also, I apologise for this chapter being ridiculously long, I didn't realise how long it was whilst I was writing it. So... here you go. Have another rambly chapter. Reviews make me write faster, so if you have a chance to leave one... I'd be really grateful. X**

* * *

Darkness. Complete darkness. Her breathing was rapid, her chest tight. Light-headed and dizzy. Nikki fumbled desperately for the switch to turn on her bedside lamp. Her hand was shaking as she quickly grabbed at the wire. Squeezing her eyes shut to try and snap herself out of her panic. She hit her hand down on her alarm clock, it was cold against her sweaty palm, it was almost 2:30am. She didn't know if she'd slept a lot but she knew that every time she _had_ closed her eyes, she saw horrible images flashing past, causing her to wake up again. Flashbacks that she'd always tried to block out. She saw her time in the army. Dirt, blood and the smell of burning. Gunfire. Explosions. She twisted her bed sheets in her clenched fists, trying to shake herself out of it. She remembered moments in school, being alone and totally isolated. The name calling. The ignorance received from her family. Memories of times left with just her own company at night; during her teenage years; came flooding back, her comfort, her torture. The pain, then relief. The release, then regret. A comfort and yet still the worst form of torture... simultaneously. Her heart was racing, her breathing no slower yet. She hated being alone like this. She hated this altogether. Why had she declined Lorraine's offer to spend the night? She could have stayed at Lorraine's, felt the comfort of her touch, listened to the steady beat of her heart. She could have run her fingers through the woman's soft blonde curls and held her petite waist. She imagined those beautiful baby blue eyes watching her as she slept, timing her breathing so each of her breaths coincided with her own. Her breathing began to slow with each thought of Lorraine, her head throbbing as her body tried to adjust to the lack of oxygen. She regretted turning Lorraine down, she didn't even know why she'd turned her down... no, actually she did know but she was annoyed with herself for it. It had been so long since she'd been intimate with anyone and she was scared she'd ruin her relationship with Lorraine by panicking. Once she'd got home, she'd sat and thought about it whilst nursing a cup of molten hot tea. Why was she panicking over it? Lorraine had never even been with a woman before... imagine how nervous she'd be. Why should she be the one panicking when Lorraine is probably far more nervous than her? She felt so selfish. She bit down on her tongue to stop herself from crying. She wondered what Lorraine was doing right then. _**Just shut up, it's 2:30am. She's not going to be awake...let alone thinking about you!** _She felt the tears ebbing at her lids, her lashes already slightly damp. Her chest still tight as her heart rate slowed, her heart ached to feel the sensitivity of Lorraine's touch. Nobody was there but she was still ashamed...not of her physical tears but of herself for causing them. _**Get a fucking grip! **_She switched off her lamp angrily and pulled her duvet up to her chin, she checked that her alarm was still set for half 6 in the morning and then she tried to get back to sleep.

* * *

On the other side of Greenock, at 5am, Lorraine woke up long before her alarm was due to go off. She was still trapped in the dazed moments where everything felt perfect...she remembered the previous night, she remembered the restaurant and how flirtatious Nikki had been and she also remembered the conversation they'd had whilst they were there. Then her stomach sank as she remembered dropping Nikki off at her flat, her turning down her offer to stay the night. Remembering the slightly awkward tension that was created between them made Lorraine's body feel numb. She had been so nervous to ask her and then she felt like a fool, it felt like she'd been slapped across the face, when Nikki had knocked her back. _**She must have a good reason for it.** _Lorraine pulled herself out of bed and tugged her white dressing gown on to cover herself up. She rubbed her eyes roughly with the backs of her hands, to wake herself up as she walked across the hallway to the bathroom, her small feet gently padding across the soft cream carpet. Lorraine dropped her dressing gown, pulled off her underwear and got into the shower. The water was ice cold at first, causing her to take a sharp intake of breath as it touched her skin. Adjusting the temperature, the now warm water flowed over her pale skin like small rivers causing her to relax slightly. She ran her fingers through her knotted hair to loosen the curls, pouring out a small amount of shampoo and rubbing it into her scalp. She couldn't be bothered to wash her hair properly so after it began to lather, she washed it clean and twisted it up into a clip on the top of her head. She tipped her head back into the stream of water, keeping her eyes gently shut, she felt the water fall down against her eyelids. It felt strangely comforting at such an early hour. After washing the rest of herself, she got out of the shower and shivered as the cool air hit her warm skin. _**It's May, it shouldn't be cold anymore!**_ She quickly retrieved her flannel dressing down from the floor and covered herself up, pulling it right around her body giving her a sense of security. Tipping her head forwards carefully, she unclipped her hair and let it fall from it's position and dried it half-heartedly with a fluffy blue towel that had been hanging on the rail. Once she was back in her bedroom she threw herself down on her bed with an exasperated sigh. Unlocking her phone to check the time, she saw that it was 6:04am, she only had one thing on her mind. Nikki Boston. Was she awake yet? Had she given last night a second thought? Why did she turn her down? Was she okay? _**Pack it in! You're behaving like an adolescent!**_ She lay back, her hair still damp and still wearing just her dressing gown. Her demure face captured on her pillow, encapsulated by her damp blonde hair, several shades darker than usual because it wasn't dry. She sighed loudly, frustrated that nothing ever went as smoothly as she'd like. Lorraine wasn't one to give up in the face of any challenge, so she closed her eyes for a moment to try and conjure up a plan. She needed to know what Nikki was thinking.

* * *

Nikki banged her hand down on her alarm clock; cold against her skin; but even once it was switched off the piercing and repetitive beeping reverberated in her ears. She figured she'd had about an hour or so of sleep, in between waking up and tossing and turning amongst the bedding. She blinked her eyes shut repeatedly to free them of sleep, not wanting to rub them because her head was that sore. She washed her hair and brushed her teeth, trying to get rid of the harsh taste in her mouth. She was tense, her shoulders were tight, as she sat on the edge of her bed wearing just her underwear. She avoided looking at her thighs, she knew the marks left by her nails would be long gone by now but she knew seeing her scars when she was so on edge was all it could take. She was deliberating whether or not to put on her workout clothes and go for a run to de-stress, but she didn't know if she'd have the energy. Clambering off the bed she went to look out of the window, pulling the black curtains open a crack, she saw that it was raining. The ground was soaked and the sky was grey. Huge clouds loomed over Greenock for as far as the eye could see. Nikki sighed and sat back down on her bed. _**The weather isn't even going to cheer me up.** _She couldn't think of anything that would improve her mood except Lorraine, but after how much of bitch she'd been the previous evening she didn't think Lorraine would want to see her. She picked up her phone, half wanting to know the time and half wanting there to be a message off Lorraine. It was 6:47am. There wasn't any messages. She knew Lorraine was going to come and pick her up at some time just after 7:30am, she didn't want it to be awkward. Not going for a run because of the poor weather, Nikki dressed herself in a sapphire blue t-shirt, a black tailored blazer, slim fit black trousers and her typical chunky black boots with a slight heel. Taking out her hair dryer, she made sure her cropped hair was dry and then took a good look at herself in the mirror. The skin under eyes was dark and puffy, a result of lack of sleep and crying. _**Wow. I look a state.** _She walked into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle, placed a cup on the worktop and then opened a cupboard to see if there was anything she wanted for breakfast. Her phone buzzed on the worktop but she didn't hear it over the boiling kettle. She sat on the wooden stool in her kitchen with her cup of tea in her hands, she stared into it and watched the ripples as her hands shook slightly. Jehan was sat by her feet, if any tea was spilt he wanted to have it. The only sound that could be heard was the barely audible ticking of the toaster as it heated up and began to toast the bread. Suddenly there was a small knock on the front door. _**Who's that? What time is it?**_ Nikki put down her tea and swapped it for her phone, unlocking it to see that it was only 7:02am. She saw there was a new message icon on the screen but the person at the door knocked again, slightly harder this time.

"Okay, I'm coming." Nikki shouted, impatiently, putting her phone down on the worktop. _**If this is just the postman or something I'm going to go insane.** _She fumbled with her keys to unlock the door, trying to think who it could be.

"Lorraine..." Nikki breathed as she pulled open the door. Lorraine smiled awkwardly.

"You're... but it's... you're..." Nikki's tongue twisted on her words, causing her cheeks to flush scarlet.

"Yes... I'm early. I'm sorry if I'm interrupting." Lorraine said quietly.

"Come on, come in out of the rain." Nikki ordered. She stepped inside, carefully closing the door behind her. Lorraine's hair was soaking wet again now and practically clinging to her cheeks, she didn't have any make up on and her black coat was shiny with precipitation.

"Thanks," Lorraine responded, "You okay?"

"I'm sorry about last night, I just panicked." Nikki replied, her eyes turning to the ground in shame.

"The rest of last night was amazing though Nik, I shouldn't have asked you... especially after everything you'd told me earlier." Lorraine answered, her voice laced with guilt.

"No, no Lorraine. I wish I had accepted, I'm just not used to all this." Nikki told her, still looking at the ground.

"Nik, I'm not good with my emotions, I shut down. I asked you as a spur of the moment thing... I don't know what I'd have done if you'd agreed, I'd have probably panicked too." Lorraine responded, far more confident that she hadn't ruined anything between them.

"I feel so selfish though Lorraine, I mean... you've never been with a woman. I should be the one leading this, I shouldn't be _scared_ of it!" Nikki mumbled. Lorraine placed a single slender finger under Nikki's chin and lifted her head the meet her gaze.

"Are you okay Nikki?" Lorraine asked again, more serious now, noticing the dark circles under Nikki's eyes.

"I had a rough night, old memories kept me awake." Nikki answered, studying Lorraine's face... it was the first time she'd seen her without make-up.

"You don't need to worry about this Nik, we'll keep it slow. I'm nervous too. It's quite liberating knowing you're not expecting me to move any faster... it would be quite intimidating if you were genuinely fearless." Lorraine answered, a mischievous look flitted across her eyes. Nikki bit her bottom lip, her headache still rife because hadn't had chance to take painkillers yet. Lorraine took a step closer to Nikki, closing the gap between them significantly.

"I can be brave sometimes..." Nikki whispered provocatively, checking Lorraine's response in her eyes before continuing. Nikki took her by the waist, not caring about how damp the rain had made her coat, and swapped places. Lorraine's back now against the wall, Nikki's hands on her waist. Their lips crashed together, Nikki stealing a breath from Lorraine's lips in the process. Lorraine reciprocated the kiss and her eyes fluttered shut as Nikki bit down onto her bottom lip, unable to contain the quiet moan that escaped her lips.

"You're so beautiful." Nikki breathed, barely moving herself away from Lorraine.

"I've got no make-up on and I look like a drowned rat, Nikki. That's not what I'd call beautiful." Lorraine muttered, gently kissing Nikki's lips again.

"You _are_ beautiful. You look just as beautiful without make-up as you do with it." Nikki flirted, grabbing onto Lorraine's coat collars and pushing her against the wall. Lorraine's spine collided with the hard wall as she leaned into Nikki.

"You won't be seeing me without make-up for much longer," Lorraine breathed, smiling against Nikki's lips, "I've got to do my make-up before we leave."

"Well we've got a bit more time before we go...haven't we?" Nikki began tentatively yet provocatively, "Perhaps we could...maybe..."

Suddenly a phone began to ring. Nikki pulled away from Lorraine slightly.

"That yours?" Nikki asked.

"Yeah..." Lorraine kissed Nikki again.

"You going to answer it?" Nikki replied.

"Rather not." Lorraine responded, her voice raspy and quiet.

"I think you should." Nikki told her, more serious now. She didn't want to be responsible for Lorraine missing an important call.

"Fine." Lorraine sighed, smiling warmly at Nikki all the same. Lorraine rummaged in her coat pocket, pulled out her phone and answered before even looking at the caller ID. It was Michael. Nikki smiled, her stomach twisting, as Lorraine gave him short, studious replies.

"Right. Yep. Okay then. We'll... no, I mean... I'll be there soon." Lorraine finished abruptly, shoving the phone back into her pocket.

"That bastard wants me in by quarter to eight," Lorraine began angrily, "Why am I even taking orders off him?"

"Just do what he asks...we're not his favourite people right now." Nikki replied, placing her hands back on Lorraine's petite waist.

"I'm his boss. I shouldn't have to listen to him." Lorraine responded.

"Just humour him. We'll go in, nod and shake our heads at appropriate moments and pretend we care about what he's saying." Nikki replied calmly, causing Lorraine to visibly relax.

"Sounds like a plan. Now I need to put my slap on." Lorraine giggled.

"Go on then. Even though you don't need it." Nikki mumbled, as Lorraine wriggled away from her.

"Can I use a mirror?" The blonde woman asked quietly.

"Of course darling," Nikki smiled, "Use the one in the bathroom."

"Thanks." Lorraine answered, taking a small make-up bag out of her handbag. Walking over towards the bathroom, she slung her handbag and coat down on Nikki's sofa with a smile.

* * *

Nikki went into the kitchen and emptied out her tea cup which she'd left to go cold when she answered the door to Lorraine. She threw the piece of toast into the bin, she'd totally forgotten she'd put the toaster on, Lorraine had completely distracted her. She picked up her phone and checked the time, noticing it was almost 7:35am she decided she'd go and let Lorraine know. She shoved her phone into her blazer pocket and walked over to the bathroom. The door was still left wide open so she wrapped her knuckles on it briefly but just walked straight in anyway. Lorraine was stood at the sink applying her eye make-up carefully. Nikki walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist, being sure it was at a moment when startling her wouldn't result in messy make-up.

"Hello." Lorraine breathed, still concentrating on her make-up.

"It's 7:35am." Nikki answered quietly. Lorraine was wearing high waisted black trousers, a white shirt, a black silky tie and a teal blazer with three-quarter length sleeves. Her make up was pale and natural looking, giving her skin a slight sheen. Nikki's stomach twisted as she admired the woman's beauty in the bathroom mirror.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." Lorraine muttered, pausing what she was doing, which happened to be applying her lip gloss.

"If you're quick we'll easily get there in time." Nikki responded, her breath tickled Lorraine as she moved her almost dry curls aside and kissed the pale nape of her neck.

"Shift then... make sure all your stuff is ready. I'll be two minutes." Lorraine replied quickly. Nikki let go of the woman's slim waist and turned to walk out of the bathroom, only stopping to quietly add with a laugh, "I'll hold you to that."

* * *

Nikki picked up her own handbag, made sure all her half-finished paperwork was in it and then slung it over her left shoulder. She picked up Lorraine's coat and handbag and called out to her, "Are you ready?"

"Yep. Yep. Coming now." Lorraine replied hurriedly. She walked out of the bathroom, looking around for her bag and coat.

"It's here." Nikki smiled, holding it out to her.

"Thank you, Nik. You're a star." Lorraine answered kindly, briskly walking over to the front door where Nikki was stood and shoving her arms into her coat.

"Thanks." Lorraine repeated.

"Don't get used to it. I'm not your slave or your house keeper." Nikki laughed, the smell of Lorraine's sensuous perfume suddenly engulfing her thoughts.

"No, you're my girlfriend." Lorraine smiled coyly, turning round and kissing Nikki's bottom lip gently.

"I really do like hearing you say that... but seriously, we need to get out of here and get to Waterloo Road otherwise Michael is going to blame me for making you late." Nikki replied, placing one more quick kiss on Lorraine's lips and passing her handbag to her.

"You _are_ to blame for making me late, Miss Boston." Lorraine replied, laughing flirtatiously.

"Oh stop it!" Nikki giggled, placing a finger on Lorraine's smiling lips.

"We need to go!" Lorraine exclaimed.

"No shit, Sherlock. I'm sure I just said that!" Nikki laughed warmly.

"Go on you, before I can't resist you anymore. That would make us_ really_ late." Lorraine whispered, practically pushing Nikki out of the door now.

"Does being later really matter that much?" Nikki asked provocatively.

"Yes, yes Nikki! However much I would like to avoid Michael...being late isn't an option." Lorraine replied, kissing Nikki's lips for a final time.

"Spoil sport!" Nikki laughed, "Right, come on then."

* * *

"Michael! As head, you are technically in charge, but if you're not going to take control of the things you're supposed to, it *is* going to affect the smooth running of the school." Lorraine told him angrily.

"How dare you Lorraine! You are the one who asked me to be head of this school... you wanted me here!" Michael responded, sitting forward in his chair.

"I believed you were the best man for the job and for a long time you were, but it's just been one thing after another recently and it's giving the school a bad reputation." Lorraine replied, staying relatively calm.

"Speaking of making bad impressions or whatever, we've had a few complaints from parents and carers about your's and Miss Boston's...little escapade." Michael announced smugly.

"Escapade. Really Michael? If I was a parent of a child at this school, I'd be more concerned about the fact the head teacher hasn't suspended a pupil who damaged a member of staff's car." Lorraine replied authoritatively, taking the upper hand.

"The police found no evidence that it was Barry Barry, I can't suspend him for something we can't prove he did." Michael told her.

"He as good as admitted to Nikki that it was him who took the picture though...surely that's enough?" Lorraine said, her voice sounding slightly more desperate than she'd like.

"I thought the PRU was the perfect place for kids like Barry Barry, anyway? Isn't that what you said Nikki?" Michael tactfully avoided Lorraine's question by moving on to Nikki, who had been sat twiddling her fingers, slightly off to the side of the desk.

"Yes, I did say that the PRU was the perfect place for kids like him...but I meant it in the sense that some kids benefit from being out of mainstream education and progress further with one-to-one tuition, which on the most part has been true." Nikki responded, her voice cool but there was a dull ache in the pit of her stomach, she really wasn't up for an argument with Michael.

"So what you're saying is that the PRU has helped Barry?" Michael replied hastily.

"Yes, he_ was_ improving, but the PRU wasn't meant as a safe-haven for the troublesome kids who aren't willing to learn. He has gone back to being one of those kids, Michael. He's a trouble maker." Nikki informed him, a hint of frustration now audible in her voice.

"Nikki's got a point Michael, Barry's interrupting the other's learning time by acting up and trying to get at her." Lorraine responded casually, fiddling with something on her phone at the same time.

"Lorraine, all you care about is budgets and money and climbing up the social scale." Michael scoffed.

"How does that work then? I'm running a public school. It's not like I make a profit from all this." Lorraine remarked.

"Well if that bothers you so much, why don't you walk away from it all? It's not like you care about the pupils anyway." Michael remarked slyly. Nikki put the pen she had been playing with down on the desk in front of her and looked at Lorraine. The woman's eyebrows were raised in the way she does when she is lost for words. However, it's very rare Lorraine Donnegan is completely lost for words, so after a few moments she replied.

"Do you really care about these kids anymore, Michael? Do you care whether these kids home lives are pleasant? Are you still willing to step in to stop bad things happening to kids, no matter what?" Lorraine asked him, unable to react in any other way than to bombard him with questions. Nikki knew that Lorraine cared about the pupils a lot more than she would ever let Michael see, she was just happy for him to see her as the heartless multi-millionaire she portrays herself as. Nikki knew Michael's comment had struck a nerve, but she also realised Lorraine's comment had hit home to him.

"Michael, we know that on many previous occasions you've stuck your neck out to help pupils. Lorraine isn't saying you've never cared about them, she's just asking whether you still do." Nikki reaffirmed, wanting to neutralise the situation as much as possible.

"You'd always defend your pupils and your staff...remember how you persuaded me to keep Christine on after that incident?" Lorraine recalled, a clever ploy to change the subject.

"Don't involve Christine in this." He replied sharply. Both women looked at each other with a slight smirk, Lorraine had known he would jump straight to Christine's defence.

"How come you won't back Nikki up now then? She might not have said anything, but Barry Barry's behaviour has been getting progressively worse. It didn't just happen overnight." Lorraine responded, choosing her words wisely so not to make Nikki feel weak or embarrassed. However much she disliked the situation, Nikki couldn't help appreciate the feeling that hearing Lorraine back her up created.

"He's on his final warning now, if he gets caught doing anything else antisocial he'll be immediately suspended." Michael informed both women.

"I'm sure you said last time that _that_ was his final chance." Nikki responded, a slight air of confusion in her voice.

"I don't think I did." Michael replied. Lorraine looked at Nikki and raised her eyebrows again, both women knew damn well that he had in fact said that the last time he'd spoken to Barry Barry.

"So what you're saying is that Nikki has to continue to teach Barry, even after everything she's told you about his behaviour?" Lorraine asked, glancing at Nikki sympathetically.

"This isn't all about your girlfriend Lorraine." Michael replied flippantly.

"Well... surely it is? Anyway, I'm not doing this because she's my girlfriend, I'm doing this because she's a valued member of staff!" Lorraine shot back.

"So you're telling me, Lorraine, that if you weren't having a personal relationship with Nikki you would treat this in the exact same way?" Michael asked angrily.

"I don't know, but Nikki is one of our best teachers. Even you can't deny that Michael." Lorraine responded, her voice slightly calmer now.

"I am here you know." Nikki spoke up awkwardly. She couldn't listen to Lorraine and Michael argue over her any longer. Lorraine was getting panicked, she hated the fact Michael knew all of this.

"I suggest you two keep your distance from each other." Michael told them both, matter-of-factly, gesturing to the two women.

"That isn't practical, Michael. I'm the deputy head, I _have_ to interact with Lorraine." Nikki replied, defensively.

"Well avoid it as much as possible." He shot back.

"This is ridiculous, for God's sake Michael." Lorraine muttered, getting up from the chair she was sat in. She corrected her blazer, picked up her handbag, secured it on her right shoulder and walked out of the office door without even closing it behind her. Nikki got up from her own chair and shot a look of disappointment at Michael.

"Just remember what I said, Nikki!" Michael exclaimed, in a tone of voice that made her skin crawl.

She shut the door behind her and looked around for Lorraine. She was stood to the side of the window, her back leaning against the wall and her arms folded across her chest. Sonya wasn't at her desk again. **_Is that woman ever in on time?_ **Lorraine looked so vulnerable, but most of all she just looked angry.

"Who the fuck does he think he is, Nik?" Lorraine spat, trying to keep as quiet as possible.

"It's okay, it's okay." Nikki soothed, taking Lorraine's hands in her own.

"What's he doing though? I've got nothing to go on when half the stuff he says is right." Lorraine continued, barely registering Nikki's touch.

"It's okay." Nikki repeated, she couldn't think of anything helpful to say.

"I've been such a hypocrite. How can I preach to him about his relationship with Christine, when I'm essentially doing the same thing?" Lorraine continued, her voice choked by tears.

"We can get through this Lorraine. You don't need all his bullshit on your plate right now, what with the funeral and everything." Nikki replied calmly, smoothing the backs of Lorraine's palms with her thumbs.

"How does he expect me to keep away from you? I work closely with you on almost everything." Lorraine said, slightly calmer now.

"Is that the only reason you can't keep away?" Nikki asked provocatively, unsure how Lorraine would react.

"No. That's not the only reason." Lorraine whispered, leaning her weight onto the balls of her feet and kissing Nikki's lips roughly.

"Stop it Lorraine. You know we can't do this now." Nikki ordered.

"I'm sorry. Thank you, Nik. I think I'd have hit him if you hadn't been there." Lorraine replied.

"No you wouldn't have. You're not like that Lorraine." Nikki responded with a shy smile.

"Okay, maybe I wouldn't have," Lorraine smirked, "But if he thinks I'm staying away from you, he's got another thing coming."

"Just keep him sweet Lorraine, he's only doing it to get under your skin. He knows it'll get to you...so don't prove him right." Nikki replied, watching Lorraine's eyes flick between her face and the floor.

"Thank you, Nik," Lorraine whispered, "I hope Barry behaves himself for you."

"Are you kidding? He's not going to behave Lorraine, he never behaves." Nikki laughed, disguising the annoyance in her voice.

"True, true." Lorraine replied, beginning to walk away from Nikki.

"I promise I'll try not to hit him." Nikki smiled.

"Yes, please try not to hit him. I don't want to have to fire my favourite member of staff." Lorraine giggled flirtatiously, causing Nikki's stomach to tighten again.

"Shhh." Nikki breathed, a twinkle in her bright blue eyes.

"Right, go on. Get to the staffroom now. I've got a meeting in town in a bit so I've got to head off." Lorraine replied quietly, her voice conveyed the fact she didn't want to leave.

"Fine... hope it goes well, darling." Nikki replied, catching bottom lip between her teeth subtly.

"Good luck with the trouble maker." Lorraine responded, giggling as she turned to walk out the door.

Nikki closed her eyes and swallowed hard, another day with Barry Barry after the night she'd had wasn't what she wanted. The only thing that gave her the energy to get into the classroom that day, was the fact that her and Lorraine understood each other perfectly. She had never been so grateful to have someone in her life, even so, she still felt ridiculous. She still felt that she shouldn't be afraid of Barry Barry, she shouldn't let him get to her, she should just ignore him. It wasn't as simple as that. Barry Barry had other plans.


	13. Chapter 13

**This chapter is like super shit and i don't even know why I've bothered but, hey... here's another chapter. I don't know why you guys even read this thing anymore. The next chapter might take a little bit longer to get done because I want to make it semi-decent...whatever. Again, I apologise profusely for this chapter. X**

* * *

Barry Barry hadn't turned up that Friday, unusual but not unwelcome. Nikki thought he might have wanted to come in purely to gloat about getting away with it, but clearly he had other plans. Nikki had let out a sigh of relief as she'd called the register and realised he wasn't there, being grateful that her day wouldn't be able to get any worse than the previous one, not if Barry wasn't present. The day ran smoothly by the standards of Waterloo Road and Michael stayed out of Nikki's way. She was glad he voluntarily stayed away from her because she knew if he tried to strike up conversation it would just rapidly escalate into a full blown argument. _**I'm not that unprofessional. He's not even worth it.**_ Lorraine seemed to be staying out of everyone's way, she was away at her meeting for a lot longer than she'd said she would be. Nikki wondered where she was, it was lunchtime by now and she still hadn't got back. _**I wonder if she's okay. Should I ring her? Should I just leave her be?**_ Nikki didn't know what to do, but she was distracted from getting a bit more of her paperwork done because all she could think of was Lorraine. She couldn't resist any longer, so took out her phone and typed in 'Lo...' and waited for Lorraine's name to appear in her contacts list. She tentatively pressed the dial button and waited a moment for it to begin to ring. Her left hand entwined with her hair, twisting thin strands as she impatiently waited for Lorraine to pick up.

"Hello, Lorraine Donnegan speaking." The woman responded eventually, sounding extremely professional and making Nikki's stomach flip. _**She either hasn't looked at the caller ID, or she's still in her meeting. Shit. Shit. Shit. She's going kill me if I've interrupted her meeting. Shit.**_

"Hi Lorraine. It's me... Nikki." She replied awkwardly.

"Oh... hiya Nik," Lorraine answered, her voice sounding less studious now. _**Phew, She mustn't still be in meetings.**_

"You okay?" Nikki replied quickly.

"Yeah. I've got to ask you something, would you do me a massive favour?" Lorraine asked tentatively.

"It depends what it is." Nikki laughed. Uncrossing her legs and resting her elbows on her desk.

"Well... will you gather up a load of facts and figures for me? We'll look over them during the next week. Were going to need to present them in two weeks time." Lorraine replied, nerves lacing her voice. Nikki wondered what was going on.

"What sorts of facts and figures?" She asked her, confused.

"You know the sort. Staffing, equipment costs, subject participation..." Lorraine began emotionlessly.

"What's all this about Lorraine?" Nikki replied nervously.

"Cuts. I've got to make cuts or the school is going to get shut down, Nik." Lorraine responded, it sounded almost as if she was choking back tears.

"That won't happen Lorraine, we won't let that happen." Nikki shot back reassuringly.

"What if there's nothing we can do about it though? Michael's already talking about handing it over to the council..." Lorraine said, her words rushed and guilty.

"Why didn't you tell me Lorraine?" Nikki questioned her, her voice full of sympathy, "We'll sort it."

"Also, I've been told I've got to seriously think about making Waterloo Road fee paying." Lorraine replied, her voice quiet and completely filled with guilt by now.

"You won't do that though... you wanted everyone to have a fair chance at Waterloo Road." Nikki responded, nervous again.

"I can't just throw money at the school as-and-when, it's not worth it if the money isn't being put to good use. But if I make the cuts... we might just be able to keep Waterloo Road open for generations of kids to come." Lorraine replied, her voice sounding as though she'd been spurred on again. She fidgetted in her Italian leather car seat, brushing a stray curl away from her face as she smiled to herself. _**Me and her, we could do this. We could make great things happen at Waterloo Road.**_

"Well that's what we'll do then Lorraine. We'll sort this out together... not that I'm much use because I'm not the best when it comes to the facts and figures of it all." Nikki told her awkwardly, blushing slightly.

"You're more than capable Nikki." Lorraine replied, still remaining relatively professional.

"Right, I'll talk to you soon. I've got to get back to the PRU." Nikki answered after quickly glancing at her watch.

"Barry?" Lorraine asked, concerned.

"No, the sod hasn't turned up to lessons at all." Nikki replied with a smirk.

"Ahh, that's a welcome break for you then." Lorraine giggled. Nikki's stomach tightened again, Lorraine's child-like giggle was lethal.

"Yep, of course. I need to get going now before the PRU descends into chaos." Nikki informed her, kindly.

"There's hardly anyone in there... we're going to have to take a look at who could benefit from coming to you in September." Lorraine replied, almost talking to herself. Making a mental note.

"Okay then... I've really got to go. Sorry Lorraine." Nikki answered quickly as she got up from her desk and carelessly shoved her papers into her handbag.

"Bye, Nik." Lorraine responded, her voice laced with longing. _**Was she really that put out by all this? I know the school means a lot to her but she sounds genuinely upset. She doesn't even want to but the phone down.**_

"Bye." Nikki replied and quickly pressed the button to end the call. She knew she would stay on the phone forever if she didn't stop talking immediately.

Lorraine leaned her head back onto the head rest and let out a long, deep breath. She felt a weight lifting off her shoulders as she told Nikki about the issues surrounding Waterloo Road. Nikki was the only person she trusted to listen and not judge her. Nikki was the only person she believed could help her turn the situation in their favour.

* * *

Sunday. The sun was still creeping through the wooden blinds in Lorraine's living room as she sat on the leather sofa. She had her blonde curls tamed and tied back in a rough ponytail, if anyone had seen her she would have died of embarrassment. She _never _tied her hair up if she could help it. She held her phone between two fingers of her right hand and turned it repeatedly, the dull and repetitive motion calmed her nerves slightly. In her left hand she tightly held a half-filled glass of white wine, the gentle ripple of the liquid was the only indicator that her hand was shaking slightly. _**Should I ring her? Will I annoy her? Why does she care? It doesn't even concern her.**_ Lorraine had tried to listen to music but it had just aggravated her further and when music doesn't even help Lorraine relax, she knows she needs to talk to someone. She had even tried to distract herself by reading one of the many books she has on her shelf. She hadn't even looked at the spine, just picked it up and started reading. That captured her attention for all of 5 minutes. The only person she really wanted to talk to about her friend's funeral was her friend... and that obviously wasn't going to happen. She wished she hadn't thought that. She wished more than anything that she hadn't had that thought. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes, pointless tears, wasted tears. If nobody was there to hear or see her crying... did that mean she wasn't really crying? Her house was too empty, too quiet. She felt more alone than she'd felt in months. Who could she talk to? Nikki Boston... who else would it be? She stopped spinning her phone between her fingers and dropped it into her lap nonchalantly. _**She doesn't want to listen to me moaning.**_ Before consciously thinking about it again, Lorraine was typing Nikki's name into her phone and clicking on it. She spent a moment or two staring at Nikki's contact profile. _**Why don't I have a contact photo for her?**_ Her fingers shaking slightly, she pressed the dial button, still unsure whether it was the right decision. _**Only one way to find out.**_ Her hair was pulling in her bobble, causing her far more discomfort than she could bare at that moment in time. She absent-mindedly grabbed at her rough ponytail until her fingers caught on the thin elastic hair tie. Dragging it through the knots, she winced whilst she listened to the ringing on the phone. She tilted her head forward and shook her curls out of their restrained position. Her hair tumbled down onto her shoulders, it was missing its usual shine, it was almost dull and lacklustre. Her heartbeat too fast, beating against her simple vest top, echoing in her ears. She was about to put the phone down in disdain, but suddenly she heard a crackle at the other end of the line. Her heart practically jumping into her mouth now. She had no idea how she was going to form any sort of sentence, let alone anything coherent. _**Why did I ring her?**_ Of course Lorraine knew exactly why she'd chosen to ring Nikki... Nikki would be able to calm her down.

"Lorraine?" Nikki said, a slight urgency in her voice. _**Shit. Has she been speaking? Just... shit!**_

"Hi, Nikki." Lorraine replied quietly.

"Are you alright? Seemed like you drifted off just then." Nikki answered; with a slight giggle at the back off her throat, barely audible. Lorraine's ability to form words suddenly decreased, that slight giggle causing her stomach to practically flip a full 360° turn.

"I'm... um... yeah. I just... How are you?" Lorraine clenched her fists, embarrassed by how jumbled her words were.

"I'm good. Just watching mindless crap on tv with a cuppa." Nikki stated almost matter-of-factly, "You sure you're alright?"

"I've got a lot on my mind. Y'know... the budgets only add to it all. I could have done without this right now, I've got a funeral to go to." Lorraine's voice was thick with tears. Nikki's heart ached as she heard Lorraine's voice catch at the back of her throat.

"Don't worry about the budgets... I'm going to make sure I get a headstart so you have less of it to do," Nikki reassured her, "When's the funeral?"

"It's... it's tomorrow." Lorraine replied quietly.

"Tomorrow? Where is it?" Nikki asked, not really sure what else to do. Her spur-of-the-moment ability to deal with grief was long gone by now and she had no idea what say to Lorraine about it. _**Damn. Why am I so fucking useless at this stuff?**_

"Wales. Somewhere. I can't even pronounce the name of it. It's all lispy." Lorraine replied, her voice now a combination of tears and laughter. Nikki closed her eyes for a moment, she couldn't speak because her heart was heavy in her chest as she heard Lorraine laugh quietly through her tears that were still threatening to fall.

"Wales? You've got be kidding? Is... Was he Welsh then?" Nikki asked awkwardly, fidgetting on her sofa and disturbing Jehan who'd been curled up behind her legs.

"No. He's from London but he travelled a lot and ended up settling down in Wales because his wife's from there."

"How long's that going to take you?" Nikki asked, her voice conveying her concern.

"It's about five hours each way. I'll be fine, I've done it for conferences before." Lorraine reassured her, as much to convince herself as to convince Nikki.

"Yes, I'm sure you have, but you hadn't just attended your friend's funeral the last time you drove 5 hours back to Glasgow." Nikki retorted, without even thinking. _**Shit. Why did I say that?**_ Nikki fidgetted on the sofa again, trying to shake off a dull niggle of cramp in her leg from having it crossed too long.

"I... I... I know that. I'm not exactly going to stay there though, I hardly know anyone. I don't even know whether to go. What's the point?" Lorraine quietly mumbled, unaware of what she was saying and almost unconscious to the fact Nikki could hear her.

"Lorraine! Grief affects people differently. You should go to say goodbye, you'll regret it if you don't. It's meant as a form of closure..." Nikki responded calmly, her accent strong and the lilting quality to her voice causing Lorraine's emotions to become even more confused.

Lorraine began to speak, her voice laden with questionable emotions, "I didn't ring you to get grief counselling..." Technically we all know this isn't true, she wanted comforting and Nikki knew that too. "I don't need mothering Nikki, I just want to talk." Lorraine finished, her tone of voice harsh and snappy. _**I didn't mean that. I'm grateful for what she's doing. I appreciate it. Why am I pushing her away?**_

"Lorraine... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to stick my nose in, it's just I know what I'm talking about when it comes to that stuff," Nikki mumbled, "Sorry... I just go into nurse-mode. I don't like it when you're upset."

"I'm sorry Nik, I didn't mean to snap but I just can't do all this. I don't do this. I'll either sit there stony-faced, keeping it all in or I'll end up sobbing." Lorraine whispered, almost inaudible.

"It's a funeral...everyone will be crying Lorraine." Nikki responded, regretting what she said as soon as it left her lips. _**What's wrong with me? Why can't I think before I speak?**_

"But... But I haven't seen them for years. I shouldn't be this upset. I should have visited him more..." Lorraine trailed off, playing with her hair awkwardly as she wiped another wry tear from her cheek in frustration. She hated crying.

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing Lorraine, _what ifs? _will only make you feel worse." Nikki reassured her, her voice catching in her throat.

"Nikki... If I could kiss you right now, I would." Lorraine breathed, aptly conveying her gratitude in the only way she could manage.

"Now don't talk like that, Lorraine." Nikki giggled, "You've got to get yourself some sleep if you're planning on driving a 10 hour round trip tomorrow."

"I'm not planning on doing it, I _am _doing it," Lorraine began persuasively, "I'll go but I'm not staying for the pleasantries afterwards. I can't bare it, Nik."

"Well if that's what you want to do, I'm not going to stop you." Nikki replied calmly. Lorraine smiled as she listened to Nikki speak.

"Right, better go then." Lorraine said unconvincingly.

"Goodbye, keep me posted on how you are tomorrow... please?" Nikki responded, her stomach knotted yet again.

"Okay then. I promise." Lorraine answered innocently.

"Good. Alright then. Goodbye." Nikki giggled, not wanting to put the phone down.

"Goodbye. Go on you. I'll be fine." Lorraine replied, her voice more full of confidence now. As she put the phone down she drained the rest of her white wine, the sweet liquid danced refreshingly on her tongue. _**What would I do without her?**_

* * *

Funerals are pretty standard. They all run in relatively the same ways, except when you have a funeral for a guy who's obsessed with motorbikes. You'll rarely see a backpacking biker's funeral remain solemn for long, the speeches are slightly more celebratory, the attire slightly less typical. Lorraine felt even more out of place than she thought she'd feel. She sat at the back of the church quietly, hoping nobody would take notice of her. She kept her coat on over her clothes because she was dressed too smartly, too practically. _**He'd laugh. He's never stepped foot inside a church, not even when he got married.**_ Religious readings are a necessity but they were kept short and concise. A song. _**Really? We're singing this and I bet half of these lot have never heard it before. He'd laugh. **_Lorraine spent far too long analysing the ridiculousness of the situation to really get emotional, she felt bad for not crying now. She focused on thinking about what he'd have thought if he could see this whole facade taking place. She got through the whole thing without shedding a tear. She felt guilty. As they filed out of the church solemnly, Lorraine noticed Claire stood off to the side. As she approached, she noticed her eyes were red raw from crying. _**What do you expect? She's burying her husband. For fuck sake Lorraine, stop being so heartless!**_ She was angry at herself for _not _crying now, she'd had enough of her own emotions. It was getting ridiculous. She did the only thing she could to convey her sympathy, she reached out her arms and hugged Claire.

"Oh my God, Lorraine! Long time no see stranger!" Claire exclaimed, feigning happiness whilst clearly still battling with tears.

"How you holding up?" Lorraine asked awkwardly, stepping back a step.

"Well... y'know. Pretty shit." Claire breathed, a new wave of tears ebbing at her eyelids.

"I can't even begin to imagine." Lorraine replied, her face flushing a pale scarlet.

"You sticking around for a while?" Claire mumbled, staring at the ground by now. Lorraine swallowed hard, she didn't want to speak and say anything out loud. _**I can't tell her I can't stay because my emotional state is temperamental. She's just lost her husband... her's is going to be completely shot.**_ After an awkward glance around, Lorraine plucked up the courage to give a convincing lie... well, white lie anyway.

"I've got to get back to Scotland." Lorraine told her, bluntly.

"You're meaning to tell me you've done this whole trip in one day?" Claire replied, the Welsh twang to her accent really prominent now.

"Yes. they'll be falling apart without me. I've basically left my... um... my... partner at the helm." Lorraine replied, wanting the floor to swallow her up as she fumbled with her words. _**Why did I have to open my trap? Why can't I just stay quiet for once?**_

"Partner?" Claire smirked slightly, amused by Lorraine's flappery.

"Yes..." Lorraine hesitated.

"What's he like then?" Claire asked, a slight tone to her voice that Lorraine just couldn't quite place in her moment of panic.

"He's... um... he's... He's not a he, it's a she. She's called Nikki. She's... She's brilliant." Lorraine blurted out, almost unaware what she was doing. _**Why am I telling my best friend's widow about my sexuality? You really are going for it today.**_

"Wow. Full of surprises, you are Lorraine. Well I'm happy for you both." Claire responded, surprised by the news Lorraine had a _girlfriend_.

"I'm sorry. Sort of stuck my foot in it really, didn't I?" Lorraine rambled awkwardly, again.

"You're fine. We're really going to have to catch up soon. I know it won't be quite the same... considering... well..." Claire trailed off, not able to continue the thought.

"We will. We really will. Chin up you, make sure that lot stay under control, eh?" Lorraine replied, trying to leave her conversation on a higher point. Well, the highest of points you can have at a funeral.

* * *

An almost smooth week at Waterloo Road followed. Everyone was sure it must be the calm before the storm, it was all too good to be true. Everyone was staying out of each other's way to avoid ructions. Surely this wouldn't last long? At least Nikki and Lorraine get to have the weekend to themselves before the next week of slaving away at Waterloo Road without a glint of appreciation being given back to them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Right. Sorry this one took a bit longer to write... I just haven't been in the mood to write Lorikki so I got distracted by writing a short Lip Service fanfic. Not that any of you are particularly bothered about that. Anyway... This is basically me fangirling over the Les Misérables stage show and channelling it into Nikki and Lorraine. I'm rambling now. Leave a review if you want. I don't know. Hey... have another chapter which is probably way longer than necessary. X**

* * *

Midday in London is scary when you're not used to the hectic lifestyle. Any time of day is scary in London. People run like they're running for their life. Get in the way of a business person on the phone or a tourist running for a train and nobody cares, they'll just carry on. New York's the city that never sleeps and Nikki had decided that London is the city that never slows down... not quite as catchy, but true all the same. Nikki and Lorraine had already spent just under an hour poorly navigating their way around the same area of London. Trudging along the same tarmac-covered roads, passing the same buildings multiple times. They'd passed the same shopping centre four times by now and they were both getting frustrated, Nikki especially. She was getting slightly more irate each time round because she hated not knowing where they were.

"How the hell do people manage to live here?" Nikki mumbled, attempting to cross a road but giving up as soon as a car drove straight past without even slowing down.

"Quite easily, once they get used to it." Lorraine replied quietly.

"Any ideas how long that takes? Are you even used to it yet?" Nikki laughed.

"Well... no, not really." Lorraine responded coyly.

"You're kidding... right? You grew up in London and I swear you spend half your life here for meetings." Nikki replied awkwardly.

"It's not like I get much chance to hang around the shops and theatres Nik, I'm not exactly familiar with this part." Lorraine retorted, slightly too sharply, too harsh.

"I know, Lorraine. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." Nikki answered quickly, feeling bad.

"No, no, no. You're fine, honest." Lorraine replied with a smile, her perfectly white teeth glistening in the faint sunlight. There were greying clouds obscuring the sun and threatening to pour with rain.

"Do you have _any_ idea where we are?" Nikki questioned Lorraine quietly, after eventually managing to negotiate her way to the other side of the road.

"Um... Well... Um..." Lorraine fumbled with her words, not wanting to admit she was totally confused as to where they currently were.

"I'd take that as a no then. Well... shall we look for a map or something?" Nikki suggested, looking into Lorraine's bright blue eyes as she leaned against a redbrick wall. She had to stop for a moment, she was totally disorientated by the sheer speed everything was moving around her. _**How does anyone appreciate anything in this city if they don't slow down? **_

"Map? Map. I'm not going and buying a bloody map. Might aswell just get in a taxi." Lorraine replied with a smirk.

"Oh listen to you, eh? What've maps ever done to you?" Nikki responded light-heartedly, pushing Lorraine childishly.

"Nothing, smarty pants. Just don't see the point in them, when you can just get a taxi driver to drop you right where you want to be." Lorraine answered, glancing awkwardly at the ground.

"Oh, you are sly Lorraine." Nikki muttered, knowing full well what she'd just said didn't really make sense, and then prodded Lorraine roughly in the arm. She stepped forward and thrust her left arm out towards the busy road to confidently hail a taxi. After a few moments, which seemed like hours to Lorraine, a taxi quickly pulled up at the side of the road. Lorraine turned to face Nikki with a smile and beckoned her over. The taxi driver asked them where they were going and Lorraine took the liberty of answering, her accent already sounding stronger now she was around other people with one similar to her's. Nikki's stomach twisted as Lorraine looked at her, however she couldn't quite be quite sure if it was caused by Lorraine's glance or by the fact the taxi had just done a U-turn in the middle of one of the busiest streets she'd ever seen.

"This all feels so weird. I don't know why, it still feels sort of like I'm just here with my boss." Nikki whispered awkwardly, her cheeks flushing a delicate pink.

"Well I'll try to be as unprofessional as I can, but I can't promise anything." Lorraine giggled, smiling shyly at Nikki.

"Rebel." Nikki replied flirtatiously.

"What's got into you today?" Lorraine responded, biting her bottom lip slightly, causing Nikki's stomach to flip somersaults again.

"Same could be said for you, Lorraine. Perhaps it's lack of sleep." Nikki replied, smiling accusingly.

"Don't blame me for your sleep deprivation. If you'd stayed at mine last night I wouldn't have needed to be awake at 4am so I was ready in time to pick you up!" Lorraine shot back, her voice now laced with mock accusation.

"Excuse me? You don't know that. You have no idea what time you'd have been awake." Nikki responded suggestively as Lorraine prodded her in the ribs.

"Oi you!" Lorraine laughed. Nikki looked out of the window to see the sights they were passing, her experience of London was so far very limited. A school trip and one day trip to the London Dungeons doesn't really stand you in good stead. The taxi shot past rows of large, Victorian-looking houses. Pillared porches. Polished brass door handles. Centralised front doors. They looked grand and Nikki couldn't help wondering how much they'd cost to buy. She knew Lorraine must be able to afford a place like that and it made her think. She knows Lorraine's house on the outskirts of Greenock isn't exactly small, but surely a grand place like that in the middle of London was more her style? Nikki suddenly got distracted from her deliberations, by the constant clicking sound she could hear.

"What the hell's that?" She asked quietly, not wanting the driver to hear and think she was stupid. Lorraine reached an arm down to the door and tapped a red light which was flashing on and off intermittently, adding incase Nikki wasn't looking, "Security lock."

"Well it's bloody annoying." Nikki added after a moment.

"Don't worry, we'll be there in about two minutes." Lorraine told her, with a hint of excitement lacing her voice.

"I thought you didn't know your way around here?" Nikki responded accusingly.

"No, I don't. I _can_ read road signs though." Lorraine smirked, her smile lighting up her face and causing Nikki's heart to race.

"Oh okay, okay. I'm still half asleep." Nikki laughed, awkwardly looking away to try and hide her embarrassment from Lorraine. Almost immediately, as soon as Nikki stopped speaking, huge drops of rain began to fall against the body of the taxi. The sky was now consumed by dark grey clouds. Both women looked out the windows, then back at each other in disbelief.

"That should do the trick, wake me up a bit." Nikki mumbled eventually, a smile dancing across her lips. Lorraine wasn't smiling, her brow was slightly furrowed. Nikki looked at her attire properly for the first time that day and couldn't help smiling at what she saw. A tight-fitting, slightly pleated dress, snow white in colour and patterned with red and white polka dots. With that, she was wearing a pair of skin coloured tights and cherry red heels, the heel was only small but it was a heel all the same. Nikki took notice of the tiny capped sleeves of this dress and then looked outside at the pouring rain.

"Please tell me you brought a coat or something?" Nikki asked eventually, pre-empting the reply. Lorraine shook her head like an embarrassed teenager, she knew she was an idiot for leaving the house without any sort of coat.

"Ladies, 'ere you go. That'll be £15 please." The taxi driver announced as they pulled up just down the road from the theatre. Nikki raised her eyebrows in surprise at the price but Lorraine just fished around in her bag for her purse, took out the money and handed it over.

"That's not actually that expensive." Lorraine whispered. Nikki disagreed though, in her opinion, £15 for a taxi one mile across anywhere was fairly expensive, even if it was London. The rain wasn't slowing down and as they stepped out of the taxi they felt that the pavement was almost slippery with rainwater.

"Oh. My. God." Lorraine muttered under her breath, as the rain poured down on her. Nikki noticed that Lorraine had the front curls of her luscious blonde hair clipped back off her face, making her delicate features more prominent.

"Here, borrow this." Nikki responded, pulling her arms out of her leather jacket.

"No. Nikki! I'll be fine." Lorraine replied, attempting to protest but just really wanting to take it out of Nikki's hands.

"Shut up you, you're like a sugar mouse...you'll melt in the rain." Nikki giggled, winking nonchalantly in Lorraine's direction as they practically ran up the street, holding her jacket out to her. Lorraine took it quickly and held it over her head, not even bothering to put it on properly.

"Thank you... and remind me not deprive you of sleep too often. You're mental." Lorraine laughed, still cowering from the rain.

"I don't mind," Nikki started with a smile, "You love it really."

"Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. It's so weird hearing you like this. I still didn't think you really did... whatever you're doing." Lorraine replied, suppressing the urge to kiss Nikki's enticing lips._** I know it's London, but I'm still not going to do it.**_

"What? Flirting?" Nikki replied.

"Well... Yeah... No... I don't know." Lorraine giggled awkwardly. Lorraine looked at Nikki. Without her jacket on, she was left wearing black skinny jeans which were extremely tight on her, her favourite pair of white leather boots, a tight white shirt with the sleeves rolled up past the elbow and a burgundy coloured scarf. Lorraine's stomach fluttered as she observed Nikki's attire.

"What's the time Nik?" She asked, aware that if she didn't distract herself she was going to end up kissing her.

"It's... ha'past one." Nikki replied matter-of-factly, looking at the chunky white watch she was wearing around her left wrist.

"We've got half hour of standing in this rain then." Lorraine sighed.

"Get under there then." Nikki laughed, pushing Lorraine under the very small overhang of the theatre roof. Lorraine smiled and took Nikki's jacket off her head and pulled it on properly. It was slightly too big for her slim build but it almost fitted. Nikki couldn't resist letting a smile creep across her lips as she looked at Lorraine. _**She really suits that, I wish I hadn't leant it to her.**_ Lorraine was watching Nikki's facial expressions silently, not wanting to speak because she wasn't sure what she'd end up saying. Both women stood there in silence watching the people pass by. Nikki being far less accustomed the ways that London worked, found it strange seeing how many different people were milling around. A woman casually walked past carrying a bike wheel. A man walked past wearing a beret. A woman with Japanese-style flowers painted on her cheek walked past. _**Wow. You do see some strange sights in this city. **_More people were arriving outside Queen's Theatre by now and Lorraine was quietly humming to herself. Nikki couldn't quite make out what tune Lorraine was humming but she was watching her lips intently, whilst trying to distract herself at the same time. Nikki ran over something several times in her head, she wanted to hold Lorraine's hand but she was nervous. She didn't really do public displays of affection, but Lorraine looked so beautifully vulnerable leaning against the wall that she couldn't resist. She shyly brushed her hand against Lorraine's, not looking at her face to avoid making a fool out of herself. Lorraine felt a rush of anxiety as Nikki's touch sent shivers through her body. She stopped humming the tune; which happened to be Do You Hear The People Sing?; and chewed absent-mindedly on her bottom lip, nervously deliberating whether to hold Nikki's hand or not. _**Damn it, just do it. You're past the stage of being embarrassed by all this stuff now.**_ Lorraine decided she didn't care what anyone thought, after all, these people were just strangers that she'd never meet again. She quickly grabbed hold of Nikki's large hand, their fingers interlocking easily. It felt strange, neither woman was all that used to such a casual gesture... Lorraine wasn't used to it at all. The theatre doors were just being opened by ushers in smart waistcoats and perfectly shiny shoes. As Lorraine fumbled in her handbag for both of their tickets; with one hand as she was still holding onto Nikki with the other... Nikki was nervously looking around because she felt totally out of place in such a posh environment. Lorraine turned to look at her and saw the nerves flitting across her eyes.

"Nikki, you're fine." Lorraine told her awkwardly.

"I could never come to a night time performance here, it's too... posh." Nikki replied, not quite being able to express what she really meant.

"C'mon you, you're totally fine. You look completely worthy of being here." Lorraine whispered, slightly provocatively.

"Shhh you, and give the guy our tickets." Nikki laughed, disguising her appreciation.

* * *

Nikki and Lorraine sat themselves down in their seats, both were surprised at how small the theatre was. Nikki was looking around in awe, she looked up at the ceiling and saw the ornate sculptures and large, crystal chandelier.

"Shit, look at this place Lorraine. It's gorgeous." Nikki breathed, not being able to take her eyes of the ceiling.

"It is... but not as gorgeous as you are." Lorraine giggled shyly, her eyes skirting across every part of Nikki's face, fixated by her lips. Nikki noticed where the woman's eyes were gazing and closed her own eyes anxiously, she knew she could quite easily kiss her there and then but was scared that Lorraine wouldn't want it. She didn't know what was acceptable to do in such an environment, she didn't know whether their fellow theatregoers would be offended. Lorraine was now distracted by reading the program, being her typical self and needing to know every detail about something before it starts. Suddenly, a voice came over the intercom announcing that one of the parts was going to be played by the understudy during the performance and then the lights began to dim. Lorraine and Nikki looked at each other with excited smiles on their faces, preparing themselves for the brilliance of the show ahead. Lorraine's heart was racing as the orchestra began to play and the words '_Toulon, 1815_' were projected on the theatre curtain. Nikki knew that she was going to end up in tears by the end of the performance, she knew she was going to be overwhelmed by the beauty of the whole show. After a few minutes, Nikki briefly looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Lorraine miming along with the songs, knowing every word. A smile danced across her lips and she could help reach an arm out and place it on Lorraine's thigh, causing her to tense up her leg muscles momentarily and then once she got used to it she just continued to mime along with the songs. By the time it got to I Dreamed A Dream, Lorraine already had tears welling up in her eyes but she managed to contain them for a bit longer... until the orchestra began to play the music for Come To Me and she could no longer stop them falling. A single, delicate tear meandered down her cheek, going unnoticed by everyone; including Nikki; as they were all fixated on the stage to watch the actress' emotional portrayal of Fantine as she died. Lorraine didn't care if anyone could see her, Les Misérables is one of the things she can't prevent herself getting very emotional about. A young girl began to sing Castle on a Cloud whilst sat on a chair, playfully swinging her legs. Nikki now felt her eyes suddenly fill with tears, a shiver running down her spine as the girl playing the young Cosette sang flawlessly. She wondered for a moment if Lorraine was crying. She wondered how many other people in the theatre were crying by now. After a while it was time for the introduction of the Barricade Boys. Strange as it might sound, growing up, Nikki had always wanted to be a Barricade Boy... or at least be friends with a Barricade Boy. Most children grow out of having imaginary friends quite quickly, but Nikki had always imagined being friends with the Barricade Boys... that's why she named her cat Jehan, it was the closest she could ever get. She laughed quietly as she stopped thinking about her obsession with Les Amis de l'ABC. The voices of the men on stage were amazing, causing Nikki's emotions to become far more heightened. Lorraine had edged forward slightly in her seat, but now acknowledged Nikki's touch slightly more than she'd previously done. Both women knew exactly what song was coming up as soon as the orchestra played the first few notes and turned to each other and smiled simultaneously. One Day More is a song that never fails to make both women smile insanely, only enhanced by the astounding acoustics and spectacular staging.

**One More Dawn. One More Day. One Day More.**

A wild round of applause and the lowering of a curtain later, the lights were back on and everyone was bustling around trying to get to the toilet or the bar during the short intermission. Nikki and Lorraine stayed in their seats and began to peruse the program together, seeing if they'd seen any of the performers in anything else before. A few names were familiar to both women and they smiled as they thought about being in the same room as these people. Breathing the same air as these people.

"This doesn't seem real." Nikki breathed, rather out of the blue. Lorraine smirked slightly and then looked into Nikki's eyes which were slightly glazed with tears.

"I know... I've been to see shows in other theatres before, but nothing's been like this." Lorraine responded, totally agreeing with Nikki.

"Nothing could ever really beat this though... or at least not that I can think of." Nikki replied warmly.

"No... I'd probably even say Les Misérables is my favourite musical." Lorraine told her with a smile, tidying her curls as she spoke.

"Operetta... not musical." Nikki stated, suppressing a giggle that was beginning at the back of her throat.

"Stop being so pedantic." Lorraine ordered, failing miserably at trying not to laugh.

"Pedantic. That's a fun word." Nikki responded, looking around the theatre again as people began to mill back in from their visits to the bar or toilet.

"I don't know what's got into you today... It's really strange." Lorraine replied, marvelling at how scatty Nikki was being. Nikki wasn't used to daytrips. Nikki wasn't used to relationships. Combining the two things made her ridiculously nervous. In her attempts to make sure she impressed Lorraine, Nikki had become slightly childish again. She felt as though she'd regressed to being about 16, the first time she'd really tried to flirt with a girl.

"Good strange or bad strange?" Nikki asked, almost choking on her own laughter as she began to embarrass herself further.

"Umm... good strange I guess." Lorraine replied, unsure which was which. Nikki laughed, neither women had any idea what they were talking about anymore. The lights suddenly dimmed and the theatre immediately descended into silence as the curtain was raised and the orchestra began to play the first few notes of Do You Hear The People Sing? Time passes differently when you're watching something as captivating as Les Misérables, the 3 hours feels like only an hour... but it also feels like forever. Éponine's death had reduced both Nikki and Lorraine to almost hysterical tears and neither cared the slightest bit. The final hour passed with lots of tears. Lorraine had purposely worn very little make up so she wouldn't look a total mess when her cheeks were streaked with tears. Lorraine reached out for Nikki's hand as Éponine and Fantine joined hands on the stage, suppressing a sob at the profoundness of the scene. Nikki held Lorraine's hand tightly, a lump forming in her throat as she also tried to resist the urge to cry. All the cast were on stage to sing the Do You Hear The People Sing? reprise and it gave Nikki shivers. Quite a few audience members were singing out loud, not being able to contain their emotions any longer. Lorraine contemplated joining in, but decided against it because she didn't want to embarrass herself. On the final note half the theatre rose to their feet to applaud the cast. Nikki felt a warmth burning inside her. _**For a show with 29 on stage deaths, Les Misérables really is such an uplifting thing.**_ After roughly wiping the tears from her own eyes, Nikki looked to the side of her where Lorraine wiped her tears away and tried desperately hard not to smudge her make-up. That was an impossible feat. As the lights came back on they shone down onto Lorraine's pale skin, capturing her cheeks which were lightly streaked with mascara.

"Well that was... brill." Lorraine breathed. She felt ridiculous sniffing back tears. _**It's only a show.**_ Nikki smiled at Lorraine but she didn't notice because she was too busy picking up all her stuff off the floor. As they walked away from their seats, Lorraine heard a large number of people sniffing and saw them wiping their eyes and suddenly didn't feel so stupid for crying. Looking around, she saw couples holding hands and wrapping their arms around each other's waists. _**Fuck it. I'm joining in. **_Lorraine tactfully leaned into Nikki and slid her arm around her waist. The woman squirmed slightly as she felt Lorraine's touch but then let her rest her head against her shoulder. Lorraine was worried that Nikki felt awkward but she couldn't resist staying where she was. Everyone was bustling past trying to get out of the doors so they could hop in a taxi or catch their coach. Nikki could feel herself panicking, she wasn't in the mood to publicly humiliate herself by hyperventilating.

"I need to get out of here." Nikki breathed, her voice laced with an urgency that she hadn't expected. They pushed their way out of the door just like everyone else was doing, until they got outside and felt the fresh air blow against their skin. It had stopped raining by now and Lorraine began to pull the leather jacket off to hand it back to Nikki.

"No, you're fine. Keep it on. It suits you." Nikki replied, smiling at how attractive she found Lorraine in that jacket.

Lorraine was nervous. It felt strange as she stood on the pavement of Shaftesbury Avenue with Nikki. She'd been out to bars and restaurants with her in Greenock, but this wasn't the same as that. In Greenock, if anyone she knew approached her she knew that she could hide behind business to stop herself getting into awkward conversations that she didn't want to have. Stood with her arms around Nikki in front of the droves of people who were passing... she had nothing to hide behind. However, she wasn't sure if she wanted anything to hide behind. Nikki looked at Lorraine and whispered, "It was brilliant. I don't know what else to say."

"Yes. It was." Lorraine replied.

"What shall we do now then?" Nikki asked her, tidying Lorraine's curls so they lay flat on her back.

"What's the time?" Lorraine responded, looking away from Nikki.

"The time by Accurist..." Nikki began mockingly, "What am I, your own personal speaking clock?" She finished, teasingly. She made sure she kept her tone happy and light, as it was intended.

"Time." Lorraine retorted, with a glint of mischief in her eyes.

"Alright. Alright. It's almost half five." Nikki laughed.

"Right... Come on then. I've got just the place." Lorraine responded, matter-of-factly.

"Intriguing." Nikki giggled.

"D'you like Chinese food?" Lorraine asked nervously.

"What a way to spoil a surprise," Nikki answered, rolling her eyes sarcastically, "I like _all_ food, Lorraine."

Lorraine shook her head, trying to disguise her amusement. It didn't really work. Both just women ended up laughing at each other...not even really knowing why they were laughing.


	15. Chapter 15

**Right, sorry I'm taking a bit longer between chapters it's just... I don't actually know why. But hey, I know I said I probably wouldn't write a sex scene but I changed my mind because it just seems to fit. I'm not going to rate this fic M because of this chapter because frankly, if you're on here and offended by stuff like that you've probably come to the entirely wrong place. So yeah, if you're a child who doesn't know about sort of stuff, I don't know, don't read it. It's not like it's going to particularly affect your life or whatever. But yeah... this is my hideous attempt of writing this chapter. I promise you I'll refrain from writing 'smut' for an extremely long time after this. Leave me reviews, they honestly do make me write faster...not that I can think why you'd want me to. I'm rambling. Hey, here's another chapter. X **

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Nikki and Lorraine sat together at a small table in the corner of the Chinese restaurant. Every table top was covered with a delicate red cloth; a small, flickering candle placed in the centre. Nikki's arms were crossed and carefully resting on the table; her muscles taut and defined. Her shirt buttons were strained slightly as the material was stretched across her chest. Even though she knew it was tight, she hadn't been aware of quite how much it pulled until now, frequently worrying that the buttons might not be strong enough. She looked over at Lorraine, her eyes conveying a warmth that couldn't be helped when the blonde woman opposite her looked so vulnerable and distant. Nikki wondered what she was thinking about; she often wondered what was going on in Lorraine's head because she so very rarely shared her thoughts. Nikki felt her heart beat slightly faster as she studied the woman's delicate features. Lorraine was chewing on her bottom lip slightly, nervously as oppose to seductively. She took the hairpins between her fingers and released the curls that had been clipped up since the early hours of the morning. They demurely fell around her face and she flinched slightly as they tickled her cheek; her make-up now touched up after the tears due to Les Misérables. Lorraine wasn't concentrating on Nikki nor on anything else in the restaurant, she was lost in her own thoughts that had suddenly consumed her. She hadn't wanted to be like this on their trip but all of a sudden her confidence had drained away and her worries returned. She was panicking. She was sacred because she didn't want to mess anything up with Nikki and she really didn't know what to do. Lorraine didn't want to be nervous and didn't want to think about all the emotions she was currently feeling. She was still wearing Nikki's jacket, too distracted to take it off...or maybe just wanting to feel the security of it. She could sense Nikki's eyes watching her, admiring her, and her palms were clammy. Her throat was dry as she took a sip of white wine from her glass, the liquid sharp but calming on her tongue. Lorraine started talking about work and she could do nothing to stop herself. "So... how far have you got with those figures for me, Nikki?" Lorraine asked, too studiously. She regretted it immediately and curled her toes up inside her shoes as she awaited Nikki's response.

"Please... can we not talk about work? I just want to spend the evening with you... not thinking about what we've got to go back to on Monday." Nikki replied quietly, her voice conveying a hint of desperation.

"We're here though, so we might aswell talk about it. Saves boring meetings back at Waterloo Road." Lorraine responded. Her voice had no emotion in it whatsoever. Nikki's heart immediately sunk. What Nikki didn't know was that Lorraine desperately wished she wasn't saying the things that were currently departing her lips.

"I don't want to talk about work, Lorraine. Talking about work is bad enough whilst I'm actually _in _work... let alone now." Nikki answered, her tone becoming a little sharper now. She uncrossed her arms and reached one across the table to Lorraine, the woman didn't reciprocate the gesture and pulled her hand away slightly.

"But Nikki..." Lorraine began, she couldn't muster the confidence to continue her sentence and looked away, hiding her embarrassment. She wanted to take Nikki's hand, oh she wanted to, but her confidence where things like that were concerned had completely disappeared. She thought she heard Nikki sigh but she couldn't be sure.

"Don't Lorraine. I'm not going to spend this whole meal discussing facts and figures like we're still in Greenock." Nikki replied, her voice lacking the anger Lorraine had expected. Nikki's voice was more desperate and disappointed than anything else; her eyes thinly glazed with tears that Lorraine noticed but barely acknowledged. Nikki stood up from her chair and walked away from the table with the usual sway in her hips, Lorraine wanted to call after her but she just couldn't find the words; her lips were too dry to speak anyway. So she was left there, sat at the table, alone. She sat there for a moment, her elbows resting on the tabletop, her hands shaking slightly as she nervously thought of what to do next. She knew she couldn't stop herself going after Nikki, she couldn't leave her thinking that all she wanted to talk about was work. She wanted to talk openly to Nikki, she wanted not to be nervous, she wanted to tell Nikki how much she meaned to her. She just wished it was as easy as that. A waitress walked past the table and Lorraine beckoned her over, slowly standing up from her seat.

"Make sure no-one takes this table please? I'll be back in a few minutes. I've just got to sort something out." Lorraine said quietly, her voice wavering slightly. She wouldn't usually ask things like that because it makes her feel uncomfortable, she doesn't like strangers knowing anything personal about her. This time had to be an exception. The waitress nodded briefly and Lorraine began to walk away from the table; a nervous knot in the pit of her stomach, nagging her, reminding her that she's terrible when it comes to dealing with emotions. Her heartbeat quickened, her palms were slightly clammy, her eyes pricked with tears. She found Nikki stood in the outdoor seating area, her back leaning against the outside wall and one knee bent so her foot was against the wall aswell. She was looking upwards to the sky, staring at the clouds which were partially obscuring the now-setting sun. Some of the clouds were a pale pink, like wisps of sweet candyfloss, floating across the blank canvas of the open sky. Lorraine felt a wave of guilt wash over her as she looked at Nikki, she wished she could erase the last 20 minutes. Nikki hadn't noticed Lorraine walk out of the restaurant and continued to look upwards. Lorraine placed a hand lightly on Nikki's forearm, feeling her flinch as she did so. Nikki turned her head a fraction so she could see Lorraine, her eyes were glazed with tears and her hair scraped back off her face, from where she'd been anxiously running her fingers through it. The tears ebbing at Nikki's eyelids were a mix between tears of regret and tears of disappointment that Lorraine had been so uncomfortable in speaking to her.

"Nikki..." Lorraine began, her voice wavering slightly as tears filled her eyes.

"What?" Nikki responded quietly, her voice calm and not at all angry; as Lorraine thought she would be.

"Nik, I'm sorry..." Lorraine murmured.

"I don't want you to be sorry Lorraine, I want you to talk to me." Nikki replied, her voice cracking as she tried to prevent the tears falling.

"Nikki... It's not that I don't want to. I want to talk to you Nik. I just don't know how to." Lorraine responded, her eyes flitting from Nikki's face to the ground. Nikki turned to directly face Lorraine, her heart racing and a lump in her throat. She looked at Lorraine almost sympathetically, wanting her open up, wanting her to trust her again.

"Lorraine..." Nikki breathed, finally looking into the blonde woman's eyes.

"I'm sorry, Nik. I really am. I wish I wasn't so crap at all this, I just can't express my emotions very well... I've never had practice." Lorraine replied, tentatively stepping slightly closer to Nikki. The woman bit her lip shyly, for a moment she wasn't sure how to respond to Lorraine's statement.

"As long as you promise to practice..." Nikki answered, her voice slightly serious but mostly jokey and almost provocative. Lorraine swallowed hard and wrapped her arms around Nikki childishly and hugged her tight.

"Thank you," Lorraine replied gratefully, "Now let's go back in and get ourselves some food and enjoy talking to each other."

Nikki's face lit up as a beaming smile crept across her face, she hoped Lorraine felt more comfortable about the whole situation by now.

"Don't eat too much... you never know, you might want _something else_ later." Nikki joked warily, wondering whether Lorraine knew what she was hinting at. The blonde woman's eyes had a twinkle about them, Lorraine had regained a bit of her previous confidence.

"Come on then, let's get back in before our table gets given to someone else." Lorraine laughed, knowing that the chances of that happening were pretty much slim to none.

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The women sat and ate samples from a plethora of different Chinese dishes, whilst sharing a bottle of expensive white wine. Lorraine tried her hardest to entirely avoid 'work' as a topic of conversation. Nikki was extremely flirtatious now and with each moment, Lorraine became slightly more confident. Lorraine payed the bill at the end of their meal and they went outside, hailed a taxi and asked the driver to drop them at the hotel they would be staying at that night.

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It was 9:30pm by now and the sky was almost dark, the first few stars visible due to the fact some of the largest clouds had dissipated. Lorraine had travelled their whole taxi journey with her head nestled in the crook of Nikki's neck, breathing slowly whilst telling herself that trusting Nikki was the best thing for her. Trusting Nikki couldn't end badly.

"What shall we do now then?" Nikki whispered, wrapping her powerful arms around Lorraine's petite waist from behind as they stood at the reception desk. The two women had been stood patiently for almost 5 minutes now, all they wanted was the key to their room.

"I don't know." Lorraine replied, not letting herself feel at all uncomfortable about being in Nikki's embrace.

"I can think of something... but..." Nikki began, her tone slightly seductive but at the same time fully aware that Lorraine was going to be anxious.

"Shhh..." Lorraine breathed, trying to place a finger on the woman's gentle lips but missing them awkwardly.

"So...?" Nikki replied, pushing Lorraine for a response so she knew where she stood.

"I think it's a very sound possibility." Lorraine whispered, a nervous and child-like smile began to form on her lips.

"Your key ladies," The man behind the desk called out, handing them a key to room 103, "Just hand it back in when you leave."

"Thanks." Nikki replied quickly, taking no notice of the man as she took the key from his hand; thinking only of Lorraine and nothing else. They slowly navigated their way to the doors of the lift, the walls of the grand hotel papered with pale, striped wallpaper. As the doors sprung closed with a beep, Lorraine felt a surge of excitement, and she began to kiss Nikki's soft lips. A taste of wine and Chinese spices still danced on her tongue. The lift came to an abrupt halt, causing the women to fall away from each other. Lorraine quickly sought out room 103 and unlocked the door carefully, flicking on the switch nearest to the door; which happened to turn all the small lamps on, dousing the room in a pale golden glow. The room was large and painted in soft creams and reds, modern accessories to compliment the modern full size window covering the one wall. The scarlet curtains were already pulled closed halfway, blocking out a lot from the busy traffic and bright lights of the still-bustling city below. Nikki locked the door behind her and took a deep breath as she looked around the room. Her heart was racing as she admired Lorraine, still wearing her leather jacket over her delicate dress, her beautiful curls cascading around her shoulders like satin. Lorraine closed the screaming distance between herself and Nikki, a thicker tension being created with each and every step. Nikki felt Lorraine pull the burgundy material from around her neck, throwing it on the floor whilst looking into her eyes. She untucked Nikki's white shirt from her jeans and began fumbling with the buttons, her nimble fingers finding it difficult to undo them whilst her hands were shaking slightly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Nikki whispered, holding Lorraine's hands still for a moment and staring deep into her wide, ice-blue eyes.

"Yes. Of course. Entirely sure." Lorraine responded, her voice quiet as her lips collided with Nikki's again. She was nervous deep down, after all, she'd never done this before. Her heart was racing, beating so hard against her chest she thought it would leap out any minute. Nikki's hands were entangling themselves in her blonde locks, roughly kissing her lips which tasted of sweet white wine and lipstick, and then kissing her neck; nibbling at her pulse point, feeling the blood pumping through her artery. A quiet moan; barely audible; escaped Lorraine's lips before she'd even realised, giggling slightly at her own automatic reactions. Fumbling with the buttons on Nikki's shirt, slowly undoing them one by one. Pulling the shirt off seamlessly and throwing it onto the floor, Lorraine began to gain confidence in what she was doing... even though she had no real idea what was going to happen. Lorraine gently ran a finger across Nikki's prominent collarbones, causing the woman's eyes to flutter shut and plunging her into darkness momentarily. She started to struggle to pull the leather jacket off Lorraine, and threw it to the ground when she eventually managed to do so. Nikki leaned forwards again and kissed Lorraine's neck carefully, her quick, hot breaths causing the woman's skin to tingle. Lorraine's hands now clutching at Nikki's bare skin, her palms cool in contrast to the woman's warmth. They were making their way across the room as they kissed, Nikki wrapping her arms around Lorraine's shoulders; her fingers hovering over the zip on the back of her dress. Lorraine's sweet perfume consumed Nikki's senses as she nuzzled into her neck momentarily. Nikki's heart was pounding, she was afraid Lorraine would panic, afraid Lorraine would be scared off; almost feeling afraid that Lorraine would make _her_ feel special again.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Nikki repeated, her speech slightly affected by Lorraine's touch; her fingers in her belt loops as she guided her towards the bed.

"Yes." Lorraine retorted, her breath catching in the back of her throat as Nikki pulled the zip down on her dress and she felt the cool air colliding with her skin. Nikki slipped the soft cotton dress off the blonde woman's shoulders, those perfectly rounded shoulders. Lorraine placed the briefest of kisses on Nikki's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Nikki's lips parted moments later, desperate for the taste of Lorraine's sweet lips again. Another quick kiss on Nikki's bottom lip, teasing her, running her tongue across her lips sending shivers through millions of tiny little nerves in Nikki's body. The women's tongues clashed whilst Nikki warily slid Lorraine's dress further down; to her hips now. Tucking a stray curl behind Lorraine's ear, Nikki leaned forward and whispered to her; her warm breath tickling her ear. The dress dropped to the floor from Lorraine's hips on its own and Nikki stood back slightly, catching her bottom lip between her teeth and admiring Lorraine. Her stomach fluttering like a hundred butterflies were fighting to get out. Lorraine's figure was even more astounding un-shrouded, her perfectly in-proportion attributes on show as she stood in the centre of the hotel room. Endless pale skin only broken up by flashes of red, Lorraine's delicate lace underwear; scarlet in colour. She stepped out of her dress, only now noticing she was still wearing her heels, then quickly kicking them off. Nikki didn't know where to look. Her face? Her body? The hotel room? Lorraine was running her tongue across her own lips, looking directly at Nikki, waiting for her to meet her gaze. Her eyes a fraction too wide; almost wild; glistening with excitement, her hands still shaking slightly but not really nervous in herself. Suddenly Nikki's back was pressed into the bed, the plush covers ruffled around her body. The bedding smelled delicately of vanilla but all Nikki really wanted to smell was Lorraine's perfume. Her breaths shaking as she felt Lorraine's hands tugging at the button of her jeans, catching on the soft skin of her stomach; arching her hips slightly to make it easier for her to undo it. After Lorraine had finally undone the button she began to pull the jet black denim over the woman's hips, cautiously so not to hurt her.

"Just... just... let me do it." Nikki breathed, kicking off her boots as she sat up awkwardly. She grabbed her jeans where Lorraine's hands were placed, sending shivers through her body as she moved them away. Nikki wriggled her legs out of the skin tight jeans, her heart racing... it had been a long time since she'd done this. She was suddenly all too aware of the pale white scars on her thighs, aware that Lorraine was bound to see them. She didn't want Lorraine to see them but at the same time she didn't think Lorraine would feel any differently because of it. She hadn't got anywhere near this intimate for a while and she couldn't help feeling a little cautious. Lorraine bit her bottom lip as her stomach tensed up, partially out of nervousness but mostly out of attraction and admiration. She ran her hand lightly across the skin of Nikki's stomach, tracing her toned abs and leaving faint; almost invisible; red lines across her skin with her nails. Nikki kissed along Lorraine's collarbones, running her hands through her gorgeous golden curls that fell around her shoulders. Nikki wanted to let Lorraine do as she pleased, but she wanted to be in control. She needed to be in control. She couldn't resist Lorraine's beautiful smile, her slim figure, her golden curls, her twinkling eyes. She kneeled over Lorraine now, her strong arms holding her weight above the petite woman under her. She was nervous but Lorraine was so beautiful and delicate she put her worries to the back of her mind. Her stomach tied itself in knots as her senses were consumed by perfume again. Lorraine gently reached for Nikki's arms, touching her muscles in childish awe. Lorraine's beautiful blonde curls splayed out on the bed, the pale glow of light in the room causing her locks to look almost transparent, as she fought to keep her eyes open whilst Nikki kissed down from her collarbones. As her teeth collided with the lacy material of Lorraine's bra she stopped, looking into her ice-blue eyes again almost as if she was asking for permission... well really she was. Lorraine ran her slender fingers through Nikki's short, chestnut-coloured hair, raising her shoulders up of the blanket. Nikki deftly unclasped Lorraine's bra, nervous, unsure how far the blonde woman was willing to go. Lorraine slid her arms out of the straps and threw it onto the floor next to the bed and she couldn't resist letting her eyes flutter shut. Nikki kissed gently between Lorraine's breasts, feeling her heart beating quickly against her hot lips.

"You're beautiful." Nikki breathed, her hot breath colliding with the soft skin of Lorraine's breasts.

"You... you... you're amazing, Nik." Lorraine struggled to form coherent sentences, her breathing quick and sharp in her chest as the sensitivity of Nikki's touch was affecting her far more than she'd expected.

"I'm no where near finished yet." Nikki responded, her voice laden with flirtation; provocative.

"Nikki..." Lorraine sighed affectionately, kissing Nikki on the top of her head.

"You okay?" Nikki asked, lifting her head up to look at Lorraine's face.

"Yes Nik, oh yes. I've just... nobody's made me feel like this before." Lorraine replied, her breathing becoming quicker by the second as Nikki kissed down towards her navel. Lorraine's body writhing as Nikki goes lower, nibbling at her hipbones.

"Oh god..." Lorraine moaned, practically panting now. Her whole body covered by a thin layer of sweet-tasting sweat. Nikki planted staccato kisses along the band of Lorraine's lace pants, kissing her protruding hip bones, holding onto her thighs. Gently running a single finger along her inner thigh, causing the muscles in her perfectly toned legs to contract and tense. One of Lorraine's hands twisting through Nikki's hair, the other clutching desperately at the bedsheets; trying to keep herself together. It wasn't working. Nikki kissed up the woman's inner thigh, aware that her own quick breaths were chilling Lorraine's painfully hot skin. Placing her hands on the fabric of Lorraine's underwear, Nikki went back and clumsily kissed along the woman's jawline and across to her lips. Lorraine hungrily reciprocated the kiss, she felt completely out of control, the thing she hates more than anything else... but this time she'd never felt better.

"Nik, I want you to fuck me." Lorraine moaned as Nikki ran a finger across the delicate scarlet lace.

"What? How un-ladylike of you." Nikki scoffed, only moving their mouths centimetres away from each other's.

"I'm sorry, I... I... don't care." Lorraine replied, smiling from ear to ear, her perfect white teeth glittering in the dim light. Nikki slid her hand between Lorraine's legs. She kissed Lorraine's lips roughly and the blonde woman tangled her fingers in Nikki's chestnut hair. Hot, burning kisses. Sweet. Sweat clinging to Lorraine's brow. Nikki's tongue explored every inch of Lorraine's mouth. Short, successive moans escaped Lorraine's lips, followed by giggles of ecstasy as she was slightly embarrassed by her moaning. Lorraine's hips buckled as Nikki kissed down her whole body from her chin, to her inner thigh. Her head between Lorraine's legs, her breathing hasty and her heart racing. Lorraine was amazingly receptive and amazingly comfortable considering it was her first time with a woman. Lorraine was dizzy with happiness.

"God... Oh g-g-god!"

She bit down on her lip trying to resist the urge to scream, her body almost numb with pleasure.

"Mmmmm!"

That didn't work. Her back arched and she threw her head back, her luscious blonde curls sticking to her sweat covered skin.

"Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Nikki!" Lorraine panted, unable to stop herself. Nikki kissed her stomach, gently dragging her teeth across the endless pale skin. Kissing between her breast again. Kissing along her collarbones, her jawline, her cheekbones. Clumsily kissing her lips as Lorraine convulsed with ecstasy.

"Wow." Lorraine finally managed to breathe. Nikki lay down next to her moments later, centimetres of screaming space between their bodies.

"Come here you." Nikki answered, her voice laced with sheer attraction. Lorraine wriggled over slightly and their bodies were now touching, both women's skin burned with pleasure. Lorraine kissed the nape of Nikki's neck, tasting the sweet droplets of sweat clinging there. Lying together, in each other's arms, exchanging brief affectionate kisses. Lorraine's ice-blue irises consumed by her pupils, they made her eyes look completely black in the dim golden light.

"Lorraine..." Nikki whispered.

"I'm guessing you've forgiven me for earlier?" Lorraine replied, unable to suppress a warm smile and shy giggle.

"Uh-huh." Nikki murmured, clumsily kissing Lorraine's lips again.

"I'd take that as a yes then." Lorraine breathed against Nikki's scalding hot lips, sweet as sugar.

"Take it as whatever you want." Nikki replied, so quietly Lorraine struggled to hear it.

"Thanks." Lorraine responded, followed by another quick kiss as she tucked Nikki's hair behind her ears.

"For what?" She asked, genuinely unsure what Lorraine was referring to; raising her eyebrows slightly sarcastically.

"Everything." Lorraine answered, smiling warmly again.

"Soft-touch." Nikki shot back jokingly, nudging the blonde woman playfully as she tidied her curls behind her back.

"Tease." Lorraine laughed.

"Shit. I'll tell you what... I'm gagging for a drink now." Nikki said, her northern accent really prominent, making Lorraine's already beaming smile wider.

"Ahh... well the perks of hotels like this, exceptional room service. So we don't even need to go anywhere." Lorraine responded, a flirtatious note to her voice. She was on top of the world and nothing could bring her down.

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**Thanks for reading, I am honestly sorry for this chapter. Normal, lack of sex, story shall resume next chapter. Haha.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey... look, it's another chapter. Thank you to anyone who has reviewed this so far and even if you're still reading it. It's just hit 20,000 views, I don't even know how that's possible. I thought I'd be lucky to get 100 views when I first posted it. Haha. I am honestly so grateful. I'm especially grateful if you've reviewed the previous chapter because...y'know. So yeah... Have another chapter as a thank you. (Well not really as a thank you...but, whatever) haha! X **

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Another Monday morning. Nikki woke up at half 5, of her own accord, before her alarm had even sounded. She felt a strange warmth in the pit of her stomach. It was odd considering she had to go back to work after spending a wonderful weekend in London, with Lorraine. She tugged open her curtains and saw that the sun was trying to battle it's way through the pale clouds, it looked like the day was going to be graced with pleasant weather. Nikki smiled to herself, she had a feeling the day was going to be a good one. She decided she would go for a run and wake herself up, after all, she had plenty of time before Lorraine arrived. She couldn't wait to see Waterloo Road's beautiful blonde benefactor again, even though she'd only been away from her for about twelve hours. Eventually, Nikki threw on her joggers and a dark purple vest, not bothering with a hoodie... and stupidly neglecting to take a bottle of water. She put her headphones into her ears, switched her music on too loud and it cut through the strange but peaceful silence in her head. She jogged along the waterfront, stopping for a while to take in Greenock's gorgeous scenery. The smell of the salty water filled her nostrils. The soft breeze blew against her face, cooling the thin layer of sweat that had formed on her skin. The sun was finally breaking through the clouds, warming the air. Nikki roughly ran her fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ears and then took her phone out of her pocket to check the time. _**Shit. It's quarter to 7. Shit.**_ Nikki knew that Lorraine would be at her flat just after half 7; she needed to get back home and have a shower before getting ready for work. Nikki ran back to her flat, far too fast after she'd let her body cool down. After having a super-quick shower, she roughly dried her hair and sat down on her bed. It was 5 past 7 now and Nikki picked up her phone, partially hoping to see a new message off Lorraine. There _was _a new message and there was also an email. Ignoring the email notification, she opened the new message, noticing that it was from Lorraine; a smile on her face before she even began to read it. 'Morning gorgeous. Hope you're prepared for the day. See you soon. Xxx' Nikki leaned back into the duvet on her bed, a wide smile spreading across her face. She felt incredibly childish. Her fingers quickly typing out a reply. 'Hello darling. As prepared as I can be for that place. You at WR all day? Xxx' As she sent the message, she threw her phone down on the bed next to her and sat up. She opened her wardrobe and took out a tight white shirt, slimline navy trousers and a matching navy blazer. Her chestnut hair was now feathery and fly away, flicked up oddly at the front. Normally she would have tried to flatten it and stop it looking quite so stupid... but she was in such a good mood she didn't even care, Lorraine would probably laugh but Nikki knew she would only be joking around. Jehan rubbed his body against her calves, looking up at her as if he was smiling.

"Alright Jehan? Want some food?" Nikki asked him as if he would reply to her, bending down to smooth his blue-grey fur. She walked towards the kitchen with a slight spring in her step, checking several times that her phone was safely in her left blazer pocket. As she opened the cupboard where she kept Jehan's biscuits, several things fell out and clattered onto the tiles... including the tub full of treats.

"Fuck." was the only thing Nikki could think of in response as the lid flew off and the contents were upended onto the floor. Jehan started to quickly eat the little treats up off the tiles.

"Shoo. Go on. Get away, Jehan." Nikki scolded, gently pushing him out the way. She knew that if she let him eat them off the floor he'd just keep eating them until he made himself sick; that definitely wouldn't be a good start to her day. Jehan ignored Nikki completely and continued to eat the treats until she picked up the cat under his stomach and lifted him out of the room. She walked around the kitchen looking for the sweeping brush... Could she find one? Could she hell. She eventually found it and began to sweep up all the bits and put them back into the tub. She had been intending to make herself a cup of coffee and a piece of cheese on toast or something else nice like that but it was 7:27am when she checked the time on her watch, once she'd finished sorting out the cat biscuits. _**I guess I won't be having anything for breakfast then.**_ Nikki sighed as she let Jehan back into the kitchen and filled his bowl with water in the hope that he might actually choose to drink it for once. Then she heard a knock at the door, quickly looking at her watch again she saw that it was 7:31am. _**I'm assuming that's Lorraine. **_

"Alright you?" Nikki asked with a smile as she opened the front door.

"Better now I've seen you." Lorraine replied, smiling flirtatiously.

"Shut up," Nikki laughed, "You certainly turn up on time... don't you?"

"Y'know, the early bird catches the worm... or something like that." Lorraine responded, stepping inside Nikki's door without even being invited in.

"You do know this isn't your house, right? You can't just walk in whenever you feel like it." Nikki told her, not being able to keep a straight face.

"Alright, alright. I'll remember that for next time." She replied with a tiny hint of seriousness in her voice.

"Are you at Waterloo Road all day today?" Nikki asked her, as she picked up her handbag and slung it over her shoulder casually.

"I replied to your text. Yeah... I'm there all day. Unfortunately." Lorraine answered, walking back towards the front door.

"Oh... Um... Sorry. I forgot to check." Nikki answered her awkwardly, not even turning to face her.

"Don't worry, Nik. It's honestly fine." Lorraine quickly replied, furrowing her brow slightly.

"Oh and anyway... what's all this _unfortunately_ lark? It can't _all_ be bad?" Nikki responded as they walked towards the shiny red Ferrari parked outside the flats. It might not be a block of flats like the ones down the road, but all the same, Nikki's area wasn't exactly like the posh houses where Lorraine lived. _**She's brave leaving that car parked out here at this time of day.**_

"Well... I suppose I can think of a few things that make it better." Lorraine replied, smiling coyly at Nikki across the roof of the car.

"A few?" Nikki repeated as she settled down into the pristine Italian leather seat of Lorraine's pride and joy, glancing over at the blonde woman who'd already sat in the driver's seat beside her.

"Well... One thing for sure." Lorraine replied, feeling the burning tension between them as she met Nikki's gaze. She couldn't help noticing the spark in her sapphire eyes and the slight glow of happiness in her cheeks. She looked even more beautiful than usual, her chestnut hair light and unruly.

"What's that then Miss Donnegan?" Nikki responded, her voice laden with flirtation she hadn't been expecting that morning.

"Not at Waterloo Road yet, you can't call me that..." Lorraine told her, trying to suppress a giggle, "...but I wonder what that one thing is?"

"Hmm, I wonder." Nikki answered quietly, too quietly, as Lorraine twirled a strand of her lush blonde hair around her finger. Her nails painted with her pale grey varnish again. Suddenly their lips collided, who'd instigated the kiss? Lorraine's lip gloss was smooth against Nikki's lips, she felt slightly guilty for smudging it but she couldn't resist.

"Shouldn't we be getting somewhere?" Nikki mumbled, her breath hot against Lorraine's skin.

"Michael can wait. I'm sure our favourite person, Christine, is there tagging along behind him like a lost puppy." Lorraine complained, only moving her lips centimetres away from Nikki's. Not wanting to lose contact. Lorraine's lips were too clumsy, too careless. She nibbled on Nikki's bottom lip, causing the woman's eyes to flutter shut. Nikki was rubbish when she wasn't in control.

"Lorraine-" Nikki wanted to ask what all this was really in aid of, normally she'd be in such a rush to get to work so Michael wouldn't back her into corners about anything. She couldn't make the words leave her mouth as Lorraine's tongue touched lightly against her lips, her breath tasting slightly of coffee. As the two women kissed each other's lips, Nikki could sense that something was wrong, Lorraine seemed tense. She put her hands on Lorraine's shoulders and pulled her lips away, however much she wanted to stay and savour the taste of the sweet gloss. She knows she can't, she knows Lorraine is thinking about something. She knows her heart isn't really in it.

"Lorraine..." Nikki began quietly, her lips still close to the blonde woman's, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong Nik, I'm fine." Lorraine replied unconvincingly, her eyes flitting between Nikki's eyes and lips.

"There clearly is. Is it about money?" Nikki asked sitting back in the comfortable seat but not taking her eyes off Lorraine's gorgeous features.

"It's... Um... I heard back from my accountant yesterday evening. I've got to do something. Staff cuts won't be enough." Lorraine sighed, starting the ignition as she noticed the time on the clock amongst the shiny dials.

"Oh... right. Well what're you going to do?" Nikki responded, unsure of what else to say.

"Well... I've... I've decided I need to close the PRU." Lorraine breathed, turning away to concentrate on the road in front of her.

"What? The PRU is really helping though... and what about me?" Nikki retorted, she was shocked by what Lorraine was saying.

"I know Nik, I know. I'm sorry. I'm not going to go into detail yet because you're going to have to listen to it all over again when I tell Michael," Lorraine replied, her voice laced with guilt.

"Lorraine... what am I going to be doing then?" Nikki asked nervously.

"I was hoping you could go back to teaching full, mainstream classes again." Lorraine replied anxiously. She wanted to look at Nikki. She wanted to see her facial expression. She desperately needed to know what she thought. She knew she couldn't take her eyes off the road as she sped around the corners of the narrow Greenock streets, so she waited to hear the woman's response, barely breathing as she did so.

"I trust that you're only doing what's right for the school. I just hope shutting the PRU won't be detrimental to the success we've made..." Nikki trailed off, not sure what else to say. Not wanting to offend Lorraine. Not wanting to sound stupid.

"Don't get me wrong, I feel terrible. The PRU is your baby, you were behind it all the way. You convinced me to keep it open when I was adamant on scraping it last time. I honestly do feel bad." Lorraine mumbled, trying desperately hard to resist the urge to turn to face Nikki.

"Babe, I trust that you're doing the right thing. If you don't shut the PRU... what's the alternatives?" Nikki responded tentatively, blushing slightly at the fact she'd accidentally called her babe.

"Well the only feasible alternative is making Waterloo Road fee-paying, and from what Michael's said... that would go down like a lead balloon." Lorraine sighed, her voice sounding almost as though she was choking back tears.

"You can't do that. That goes against everything you've ever wanted for Waterloo Road. Accessible to everyone... that's what you've always said." Nikki shot back defensively, she knew Lorraine didn't want that for the school but she just had to remind her. She couldn't let Lorraine jeopardise everything she's worked for on this.

"I know Nikki, I know. That's why my only choice is to close the PRU and make some staffing cuts... see how that goes first." Lorraine answered timidly, she seemed almost ashamed of what she was saying.

"This isn't your fault Lorraine... I have a feeling Christine is going to blame this solely on you. Don't let her get to you." Nikki replied quietly, smiling even though she knew Lorraine couldn't see her.

"And don't forget Michael, I highly doubt he'll be too pleased with all this." Lorraine groaned, as they were just pulling into the car park of Waterloo Road now. Nikki could see that Lorraine was going to need a minute to calm herself before going in to see Michael.

"Lorraine... just say what needs saying and I'll back you up." Nikki informed her soothingly.

"Thank you, Nik." Lorraine replied quietly, barely audible, as she turned the ignition off. There was suddenly silence. Unwelcome silence. Lorraine didn't like the silence but couldn't think of anything to say to break it.

"Come on, let's go and face the music." Nikki finally spoke up, her lilting Yorkshire accent breaking the harsh silence. Once both women had picked up their handbags and carefully got out of the Ferrari, Nikki walked over to where Lorraine was stood, fixed to the spot. She was wearing a bright orange dress twinned with a white blazer. _**She's definitely embracing the summer weather. Oh God, she's so damn beautiful.**_

"You'll be fine. It's only Michael... How many times have you two had a difference of opinion before?" Nikki whispered, looking at the woman out of the corner of her eye.

"I know, I'm just being stupid Nik. This just isn't the same. I don't think he'll be too forgiving this time." Lorraine muttered, looking down at the floor as she adjusted her blazer so it sat more comfortably on her shoulders.

"You're not being stupid. Now I mean it, I'm going to back you no matter what. I know you're trying your utmost to avoid all this but you can't help it." Nikki reassured her, her tone almost motherly. No flirtation, no lust, no anger, no confusion... just pure motherly comfort. Nikki's arm just gently skimmed Lorraine's waist; the orange fabric of her dress sleek against her hand; not wanting to put her arms around her out in the open... not after last time. Yet again, Lorraine didn't know how to respond because she wasn't used to simple comforting gestures. Her eyes wandered around, as if she was searching for a reply, searching for the confidence to say something witty or cute. She couldn't think of anything.

"Thanks." She mumbled quietly, hoping that Nikki didn't think she was being ungrateful. Of course Nikki didn't think Lorraine was being ungrateful, for once she totally understood what was going on in the woman's mind.

"Come on. Shift before we get ourselves into anymore trouble with the head." Nikki laughed warmly; childishly; touching Lorraine's arm and starting to walk towards the doors.

"Thanks." Lorraine mumbled again, but Nikki didn't even hear her this time.

"Is Tom coming to this meeting or not?" Nikki asked, getting herself into her professional mindset ready for the inevitable battle with Michael and Christine.

"No, this meeting was all a bit impromptu. If you could be a darling and update him on everything when you see him?" Lorraine replied, her voice laden with false confidence. She too had put her professional head on now, just wanting to get in there and get it over with.

"Ahh. No problem then. We don't want him thinking he's out of the loop, after all, he's basically the only person totally on our side so far." Nikki responded with a calming smile.

* * *

Christine was glaring at them both, fixing her eyes on Lorraine for a while, until she shot a look at her watch.

"You're late." She spat, as though she was the boss.

"It's 5 past 8 Christine, we said 8 o'clock. I don't think 5 minutes matters all that much in the grand scheme of things." Lorraine replied, her voice staying calm and emotionless. Christine turned away and stalked over to the other side of the room.

"Oh and look who it is, you've brought your squeeze along with you." Christine responded slyly.

"Nikki is not my _squeeze_, Nikki is the deputy head of this school..." Lorraine replied, unsure how to continue her sentence, so awkwardly looking to Nikki to finish it for her.

"I have a right to be here Christine, if you have a problem with that... by all means, take it up with Michael and see how far that gets you." Nikki continued, her voice laced with mild annoyance and anger.

"I might well just do that," Christine began, "Oh... Nikki. Did you get my e-mail?"

"Um... No I didn't. Perhaps it didn't come through yet." Nikki responded, she was sure she could feel her cheeks blushing as she lied.

"Well don't you check your e-mails in the mornings?" Christine shot back, raising her eyebrows accusingly.

"As a matter of fact I do Christine. What was it about then?" Nikki replied calmly, she wasn't going to let Christine get to her. As she asked this, Michael walked back into the office and smiled... probably at Christine but it wasn't really clear.

"Shall we get down to business?" Michael asked, his voice sounding bored and uninterested.

"Yes. Let's." Lorraine replied, her tone emotionless but her eyes were flitting around nervously inside her head.

"Calm." Nikki whispered as she walked past Lorraine; making sure she was quiet enough so the others couldn't hear. Lorraine swallowed hard and sat down on the wooden chair, closest to her.

"Right." She began, crossing her arms and leaning forward on the table.

"Can we make this qui-" Christine attempted to speak up but her protests fell on deaf ears.

"Let her speak Christine, it'll take as long as it takes!" Michael interrupted her. Nikki tried to keep her face neutral but she was shocked that Michael was actually going against Christine.

"I've been looking at our school budget and it's just not going to be possible to carry on as we are. Money is being wasted and we just can't let that happen." Lorraine announced with an air of confidence, a smoke screen, a cover. She refused to let Michael see that she actually cared, let him see her caring side that Nikki knew so well by now. She was happy with him thinking she was entirely heartless.

"What do you mean? What are you planning?" Michael retorted, an underlying anxiousness in his voice.

"Well first of all I'm going to close the PRU, it's not cost efficient and it's consuming a large chunk of our budget." Lorraine continued coldly.

"After all the PRU has done for this school. Where would Jodi Allen be without it? Certainly not with successful exam results and university prospects." Michael snapped.

"After all that Nikki's put into the PRU." Christine chirped, hoping for a reaction.

"Don't use me as an excuse, I know that Miss Donnegan is only doing this to help the school." Nikki casually responded, looking over at Lorraine in the seat next to her.

"Stick up for your girlfriend, isn't it Nikki?" Christine replied as Nikki rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"Christine has a point, you can't just side with her because you're..." Michael started.

"Miss Boston understands my reasons for doing this and if you'd give me chance, I'd explain them to you aswell." Lorraine answered calmly before Michael had a chance to finish his sentence.

"So you already knew about this, Nikki?" Michael piped up, his voice harsh. Nikki ignored Michael's comment, not willing to fuel his fire against Lorraine.

"At least she gives me the time of day. I know that closing the PRU might not be the best thing for the school but it's either that or..." Lorraine trailed off, not knowing whether to tell Michael the alternative option.

"You're telling _me_. Closing the PRU is going to look like we're giving up on the kids who can't learn in mainstream classes." Michael shot back, his voice slightly more sympathetic now.

"We're not giving up on them, we just can't afford to give them entirely special treatment." Lorraine answered slightly quieter now.

"So you're saying they're not deserving of special treatment. Your money can't stretch to help them?" Christine muttered, her eyebrows raised smugly.

"They deserve what they work for. We'll look at setting up a scheme or something at a later date if mainstream classes don't work out." Lorraine responded, having to be careful what she agreed to.

"Right. So what's Nikki going to do now then?" Christine asked, her tone careless.

"Well she's going to go back to teaching mainstream English, we're an English teacher down anyway so it works out perfectly. Saves us having to get cover." Lorraine answered professionally, her stomach slightly too tight, her palms slightly too clammy. Deep down, Christine knew that Nikki was in fact a good teacher, she felt slightly threatened by knowing that Nikki would be part of her department.

"What about Barry Barry? We can't put him in mainstream classes again, staff can't handle him." Michael responded, sounding almost awkward.

"Nikki's dealt with him well, and that's proof that he _can _learn when he actually tries." Lorraine said, trying not to raise her voice but also wanting to defend her suggestion.

"Oh yes, because she's really turned him round. He's a totally different kid." Christine mocked.

"He's still here isn't he?" Nikki shot back, her teeth clenched together.

"Just about!" Michael butted in.

"I'll hand it to you, he's not exactly a model pupil but Nikki's tried her hardest. This isn't about Nikki. This isn't about Barry Barry. This is about the PRU. We are closing and I'm sorry Michael, but there's nothing you can do about it." Lorraine responded, her tone sharp but trying her hardest to stay calm. She stood up from her chair, making sure the vibrant orange fabric of her dress was pulled down covering her thighs as much as possible. She felt vulnerable now that Michael had started to side entirely with Christine again. Nikki looked at her watch and noticed that it was almost time for the bell to go and another hectic week at Waterloo Road.

"Just one more thing... I'm going to have to make some changes to the staff and subjects in this school." Lorraine attempted to keep her voice calm, keep herself collected. She walked towards the office door and pulled down the handle, the metal cold against her warm and sweaty palm. Her heart was beating too fast, she was too nervous. _**Why am I afraid of him? Why am I bothering to try and impress him?**_

"Are we starting the mainstream classes today? There's only a few kids to allocate classes to... so it wouldn't be too difficult." Nikki replied after observing the underlying panic on Lorraine's face.

"Okay then. I'll try and sort something out." Michael sighed, his voice fed up and frustrated. He looked at Lorraine dismissively, practically announcing that he didn't want her there... with just a single glance.

"Right then." Nikki said as she stood up, "I'll keep myself busy then. I've got tonnes of paperwork to get done, I'll be in my office if you need me." Lorraine was already turning around and walking out of the door. Nikki slung her handbag over her shoulder and walked out, shutting the door tightly behind her.

"Nikki Boston. The woman who can do no wrong in the eyes of Lorraine Donnegan, eh?" Christine told Michael, her voice sarcastic. She had said it just loud enough so that Nikki could hear her as she pulled the door closed.

"Lorraine, you did brilliantly." Nikki reassured her with a smile.

"Thanks Nik." Lorraine breathed, still looking down at the floor, looking at her shoes. Fiddling with her fingers like a nervous teenager.

"At least I'm getting away from Barry Barry. Can't say that's bad." Nikki kindly responded. She wanted to hold Lorraine's gentle hand. She wanted to hug her. She wanted to kiss her perfect lips. Her fair curls demurely hung around her face, her pale cheeks flushed lightly pink.

"You're amazing you are." Nikki whispered, she hadn't realised what she'd said until it had already left her lips.

"Shh." Lorraine breathed, with a shy smile, so quietly she couldn't be sure that Nikki had even heard her.

"You do realise that that's actually your office don't you?" Nikki replied light-heartedly.

"Unfortunately... I do. Unfortunately I know that I'm going to have to go back in there and sit there whilst he moans on at me for what I'm implementing." Lorraine sighed, trying to stop her voice cracking. Refusing to let Michael and Christine's childishness get to her.

"You really should share my office," Nikki answered, her tone not entirely jokey, "I promise you I'd be professional... most of the time."

"You never know Nik," Lorraine answered, a warm smile dancing across her lips as she looked into Nikki's sapphire-blue eyes, "You never know."


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm sorry if I'm not quite as quick at updating at the moment, my phone is being useless and I broke the memo pad on it because I used it too much and had to start this chapter from scratch. Thank you to all of you brilliant people who keep reading and giving me feedback! This chapter is highly uneventful and crappy. I'm sorry. X**

* * *

"Please turn to page 75 in your copies of Romeo and Juliet." Nikki announced loudly over the mumblings of her new Year 9 class. Trying desperately hard to keep her voice steady, her tone neutral. She was panicking, she could feel her heart beating ferociously against her ribs. Pounding in her ears. She had already licked her lips what felt like a hundred times to try and stop them feeling so dry. Her throat was tight, she swallowed hard as she gave out the final copy of the dog-eared books. Her hands were shaking the slightest bit, she couldn't bare to let that show.

"That's not where we left off though." A boy with short brown hair retorted from the front of the class.

"No, it's not. That's because we're just getting a feel for the storyline, preparing you for your GCSE coursework on it next year." Nikki replied calmly, trying not to look at the boy; avoiding asking his name. Nikki hated not knowing the names of the pupils who's faces stared back at her as she looked around. She'd become so familiar with the feeling of teaching the same few kids in the PRU, she'd almost forgotten what teaching mainstream classes was like. Ever since she moved up to Scotland all she'd done is teach the same few pupils in the PRU, their un-enthusiastic faces staring vacantly, day in day out. Mainstream classes felt like a thing of the past, a distant memory... a nightmare. She may be able to control unruly boys like Barry Barry relatively well but she felt that she struggled to maintain discipline in a full class of moderately behaved pupils. She'd barely slept the previous night, her stomach in knots and her mind in overdrive, as she tossed and turned amongst the covers. She couldn't help remembering the classes she'd taught at Waterloo Road when it was down in Rochdale, how badly behaved they were for her and how terribly she'd dealt with them. She sure as hell hadn't been up to admitting to Lorraine earlier that morning that she was genuinely petrified of going back into it all. At least she had given herself a fairly well behaved class to ease herself back in slowly. Well... It really depends what you class as well behaved.

"Oi, Miss Boston. What you thinking about?" called that same boy as last time; the boy at the front. His voice felt like a knife slicing through her heart. She hadn't realised that she'd been leaning against her desk for the best part of 5 minutes, staring into space. Her stomach turned, she licked her lips again.

"I bet she was thinking about Miss Donnegan." smirked another boy towards the middle of the class, rousing laughs from a few more members of the class.

"Enough of that." Nikki raised her voice, not shouting, just making sure she showed she was serious.

"Bet you were though, weren't you Miss?" laughed a girl who was swinging back and forth on her chair.

"Four legs on the floor please," Nikki glared at the girl, "Now!"

Her raised, harsh tone caused every member of the class to regain concentration slightly. She knew the day would be difficult but it was only first period and she was already losing patience.

"Now, who wants to read for a character today?" Nikki asked, getting up and pacing across the front of the classroom. Her solid shoes hit heavy against the linoleum, the echo too loud. She tugged on the collars of her burgundy blazer, settling it comfortably on her shoulders. There were several hands raised around the room and she knew she'd need to know their names to allocate parts. She'd have to swallow her pride.

"When I point to you, say your name because it'll take me a while get used to new faces." Nikki regretfully suggested.

"You're a bit useless then." another girl spat, Nikki hadn't even seen who it was. She shoved her hands deep into the pockets of her charcoal coloured trousers, hoping she'd feel in control again. She allocated the parts and the pupils started to read, monotonously. No expression whatsoever, regularly stopping as they tried to make sense of Shakespearean sentence structure. Most of the class were concentrating, but as Nikki looked around from behind her desk she could see the odd person whispering about something-or-other, and then towards the back she noticed a girl with firey red hair hunched over her table. Nikki could see that the people behind her were whispering but she didn't say anything because by now her throat was so dry she couldn't form the right words. She let the class read several of the acts in the upcoming pages of the book, until there was only 5 minutes of the lesson left.

"Right, pack up your things and put your books in a pile at the end of the table," Nikki ordered, "Don't expect cushy lessons like this every time."

Nikki knew the pupils were muttering about her but she couldn't be bothered to call them up on it, she just wanted them to get out. Her heart was still racing and her palms too clamy. The bell rang out, penetrating her ears, ringing through her head. The girl with the firey red hair picked up some of the books on her way past the tables, placing them on the desk at the front on her way out.

"Come here a minute." Nikki said quietly, her tone softer than it had been for the previous hour. The girl's gorgeous auburn hair was poker straight, overly layered so that it was full of volume. Her eyes were shining with tears as she turned to face Nikki.

"Sorry but... what's your name?" Nikki asked, slightly awkwardly. She felt bad not knowing her name but she couldn't be expected to know the names of everyone in classes she's never taught.

"Carrie." the girl mumbled, her Glaswegian accent strong, even on a single word.

"You alright, Carrie?" Nikki asked, she was yet again proving that she was in fact just as bad as Lorraine when it came to dealing with emotions.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Carrie replied, her eyes flicking down to the ground unconvincingly.

"You don't look too happy," Nikki responded, "What were those girls behind you saying?"

"Oh... it was nothing... they were just... um..." Carrie whispered, her pale cheeks blushing a faint scarlet.

"You don't need to tell me because... y'know, it's only the first lesson I've had with you." Nikki quietly replied, adjusting her blazer again. Carrie did up the zip on her leather jacket as she turned to walk away from Nikki's desk.

"Yeah..." Carrie answered, so quietly Nikki barely heard her.

"You know where I am if you ever need to talk, I'll either be here or in my office. Don't keep stuff a secret when there's someone willing to listen." Nikki reassured her, smiling as the girl pulled down on the metal door handle.

"Thanks Miss, you're not really as bad as everyone thinks." Carrie laughed, blinking back her tears. Nikki laughed but inside she felt better about how the day was going to go. She knew she wasn't the nicest, most layed back of staff but she was only trying to keep the classroom under control. Carrie reminded Nikki of herself, there was just something about her that did and she couldn't place what it was. As she sat down at her desk to check her newly organised timetable, she let out a sigh of relief due to the fact she'd managed to get through her first mainstream lesson in months and she didn't have another lesson now until after lunch because she was due to teach Year 11 next and they were in exams. Unfortunately the lesson after lunch was Year 10 and it was guaranteed to aggravate her. Lorraine was at another important meeting about something in Glasgow city centre and wouldn't be back until just before lunch. _**At least I get to see her at lunch.**_ Her heart rate had slowed down now as she collected up the remainder of the books off the tables, she always hated teaching Romeo&Juliet... nobody ever really appreciated how powerful the emotions Shakespeare conveys truly are. She much preferred other texts, but she did appreciate the power of Romeo not that she'd ever admit that.

* * *

Nikki was back in her office as soon as the bell rang for lunch, she wasn't really hungry so didn't bother going to the canteen to get herself anything. All she really wanted was to talk to Lorraine and find out about how her meeting had gone. Nikki took off her burgundy blazer, leaving her arms exposed, in the capped sleeves of her simple white t-shirt, to the cool breeze of the air conditioned office. _**Does Tom just avoid coming into the office? I hardly see him anymore.**_ Nikki logged onto her computer to check her e-mails, she wasn't intending to answer them if there were any in her inbox but she was just time wasting, distracting herself. She tapped her long fingers against the brittle plastic of the keyboard, the repetitive sound annoying her more than anything else. She knew there was probably paperwork or something else productive she could be doing but she had absolutely no inclination to do it. She suddenly looked up slightly from her desk as she heard the door latch click open.

"Ever heard of knocking?" She mumbled, without even looking towards the door. She regretted it as soon as she opened her mouth but it was too late by then.

"Yes." the voice replied. Nikki bit down on her lip, wishing she hadn't said anything. Wishing she hadn't used that tone. She knew who it was from that one simple word, that distinctive accent. It was Lorraine. She looked up from her desk properly now, tucking her chestnut hair behind her left ear. Her stomach was tight as she saw Lorraine push the awkward wooden door tightly shut.

"Hmm... What've got we here then?" Nikki asked light-heartedly, knowing that Lorraine wouldn't have taken offence to her sharp tone.

"Well... I was in the centre of Glasgow at lunch time so I can't exactly turn up in your office without anything." Lorraine laughed, her sky-blue eyes twinkled as she placed two cups from Starbucks down in front of Nikki.

"Who's is who's then?" Nikki asked with a grateful smile.

"Well one's a hot chocolate and the other's a double caramel frappuccino, so it's up to you. I'll be happy with either." Lorraine told her as she pulled up a chair next to Nikki.

"What sort of word is frappuccino anyway?" Nikki laughed, she didn't know what else to say as she looked into Lorraine's eyes. Her stomach consumed by butterflies, her heartbeat coming to a standstill.

"Why are you so obsessed with words?" Lorraine replied, tiny frown lines forming between her eyebrows; her nose wrinkling slightly. Nikki smirked at how adorable Lorraine looked, her off-the-shoulder emerald green dress was beautiful against her pale skin.

"I don't know why, they're just... interesting. I just find it strange how words are created..." Nikki giggled, she felt ridiculous saying that. _**Why do I always manage to make a fool of myself?**_ She liked words, of course she did... she's an English teacher, but she didn't realise how often she commented on them.

"I like seeing you like that, I like seeing the nerdy side of you." Lorraine responded, the word nerdy was one of her least favourite words and she didn't know why she'd said it.

"I'm not nerdy, how dare you say I'm a nerd." Nikki laughed, attempting to keep her tone serious but failing entirely. She ran her right hand through the front of her hair to shake it out from behind her ears. Lorraine's eyes were watching her, the taut muscles in her arm prominent. She still felt she was doing something wrong by admiring her without her knowledge. Nikki's hair ebbed at her chin, not quite that long yet... but almost. She smiled and Lorraine's breath caught in her throat. Nikki's smile lit up her face, her pearly-white teeth shining delicately.

"You're much cleverer than me though..." Lorraine finally managed to encourage out of her mouth.

"Academia isn't for everyone Lorraine, you've always said that you're proof you don't need to be a rocket scientist to do well for yourself." Nikki responded, acknowledging Lorraine's compliment in the only way she could... by complementing Lorraine. Nikki took a large sip out of the cup of hot chocolate, wanting to feel the warmth of it in her throat. It was sweet and rich... and still boiling hot. Nikki gulped down the bit she had in her mouth to stop it burning her tongue and then laughed quietly.

"Yeah... but look where that's got me." Lorraine answered, her lips turning down at the edges, her brow slightly furrowed again.

"We'll sort out all the problems at Waterloo Road in due course... we've just got to give it time." Nikki soothed, taking another sip of rich hot chocolate.

"We don't have enough time to give it, it needs to be solved fast. You know what it's like when it comes to stuff like finances... everything needs a quick solution that we just don't have!" Lorraine exclaimed, her voice laced with guilt and sadness as she ran her slender fingers through her demure curls.

"Lorraine... staff cuts and reorganising classes and subjects will give it a push in the right direction." Nikki reassured her. She hated seeing Lorraine like that, she was so often overly confident and almost cocky. Lorraine wasn't good with guilt or any of the other emotions she was currently feeling. Her ability to think rationally diminished as soon as she began to feel stressed by anything, so by now she was almost useless.

"When are we presenting all this information about the classes and subjects?" Nikki asked her, still almost entirely professional. Work suddenly being a welcome barricade between emotions. Lorraine could never understand how Nikki knew when she wanted to talk about her emotions... and when she really didn't. Even she didn't know herself most of the time. Nikki was fiddling around on the computer looking for the information she'd compiled. Lorraine watched her hands as she typed on the keyboard, her pronounced tendons and her long, slim fingers. Nikki spun around on her chair so she was facing Lorraine again, the blonde woman's face was still consumed by sadness and confusion. Nikki's heart sunk, she hated seeing Lorraine like that. She took another sip from her cup of hot chocolate, then dipped her finger into the whipped cream on top of Lorraine's caramel frappuccino. Smirking to herself she gently dabbed a blob of the cream on Lorraine's nose.

"Oh my God, Nikki," Lorraine protested, "How old are you?" Lorraine was giggling even though she'd tried not to, she was trying to stay professional but that just wasn't going to happen.

"Oh c'mon..." Nikki responded, laughing herself whilst admiring Lorraine's smile.

"How can you go from being so professional to being so childish in the blink of an eye?" Lorraine asked, half serious and half amused. She twisted a curl of fair hair around her finger as she spoke causing Nikki's stomach to convulse.

"How can you go from being so down to being so happy in the blink of an eye?" Nikki responded, her tone warm and comforting.

"I see what you did there." Lorraine breathed, getting up from her chair and shuffling onto the desk, mostly so she could see the computer screen better. Nikki reached out her hand and wiped the blob of whipped cream off Lorraine's nose, with a coy smile. Lorraine placed both hands on the woman's shoulders and leaned forward. Their lips locked hungrily, the kiss tasted of chocolate and coffee. Nikki pulled away after a moment, her eyebrows raised. Her heart was racing with pleasure and all she wanted to do was keep kissing Lorraine.

"I know... I'm sorry." Lorraine breathed, licking her lips to get off the tiny remainder of lip gloss.

"You know I would if I could, but we can't risk it. It's pointless." Nikki replied, anxious she was saying the wrong thing, her heart beating ferociously against her ribs again.

"We can wait. You're worth the wait." Lorraine answered, her cheeks blushing to a rose colour.

"Like _that_ is it?" Nikki laughed, "Now let's quickly look over these... get them done ready for whenever you want them."

"Tomorrow?" Lorraine responded, swallowing hard.

"If you're sure? I'm sure we can get it done for tomorrow." Nikki told her calmly, tucking her hair back behind her ears.

"You're a star." Lorraine whispered, Nikki wasn't looking now but she could tell that she was smiling.

"Don't think I'm doing this entirely on my own." Nikki shot back playfully.

"Alright, alright." Lorraine scoffed. Lorraine isn't stupid, she knew that the reason Nikki wouldn't do it all on her own was because she didn't trust herself to do it right. She leaned forward a fraction on the desk so she could read the screen as Nikki did.

"Thanks for this." Lorraine finished quietly.

"I'm just doing my job, Lorraine." Nikki answered, fiddling with a document on the computer screen.

"No... you're not." Lorraine replied. She wanted Nikki to know how much she actually appreciated all that she was doing for her. Nikki smiled to herself, resisting the urge to turn to face Lorraine and get distracted by the beautiful woman. Lorraine's eyes flickered over the side of Nikki's face that was visible to her, smiling warmly as she admired her features.

"You are beautiful." Lorraine breathed, unsure whether she should have said it. It was almost an involuntary response, Nikki looked so innocent and professional.

"Shut up Lorraine, you're too soft you are." Nikki replied, a laugh catching at the back of her throat.

"It's your fault. I can't help that you're such an influence on me." Lorraine responded, covering her face with her hands to hide her scarlet cheeks.

"Pfftt..." Nikki breathed, turning back to the computer screen. She couldn't look at Lorraine anymore, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist kissing her if she looked at her any longer. Oh, she wanted to kiss her but kissing her then was like dicing with death. Michael would flip even if he walked in and saw Lorraine sat on the desk like she currently was. Nikki felt Michael would use anything against her and Lorraine, he didn't need anything else unprofessional to fuel in his fire.


	18. Chapter 18

**Oh look, another chapter. It really long and probably shit because I don't really know what I'm going on about anymore. But still... Thank you to those of you who constantly reassure me that my writing is good... it really does mean a lot (even if I don't always believe you.) I'm not emotionally prepared for Thursday's WR so I'm writing loads to make me feel better. haha. X **

* * *

Everything always felt like a rush, even if she got up in plenty of time. Quickly curling her long blonde locks frivolously, whilst attempting to avoid burning her fingers. As she did her make up, trying to keep it looking as natural as possible, she looked at the time on her phone. It was already 7am and she was nowhere near ready. She blinked her eyes tightly shut, hoping that she would be dreaming and she could go back to sleep for a few more hours. As she was gently dabbing her lips with an expensive lip gloss, her phone vibrated on the dressing table in front of her. _**Oh who the hell could this be?**_ She screwed the lid back on her lip gloss and swapped it for her phone. She breathed a sigh of relief as she acknowledged that the message was off Nikki. 'Morning, can I scab a lift off you again? I promise I'll get my car sorted soon. Xxx' Delicate frown lines formed across Lorraine's forehead as she re-read Nikki's message. It seemed far too professional, it made Lorraine feel uncomfortable just to read. She began to type out a reply, she wanted to ask if the woman was okay and if she had anything on her mind. She knew the only response she'd get if she asked her via text would be one saying she was totally fine. She wouldn't say there was something wrong... even if there was. 'Morning beautiful, no problem. I'll give you a lift for as long as you need me to. Xxx' Lorraine quickly sent the message and then opened her wardrobe doors ceremoniously. _**So many clothes, so little to wear. **_She flicked through what seemed like endless amounts of clothes hangers, looking for something professional to wear. She knew that today was the day she had to stand in front of her whole teaching staff and basically tell them she couldn't afford them all. She had to look professional because it was the only thing that was going to give her any confidence to go through with it... well, that and Nikki. She briskly pulled on a pair of ridiculously tailored grey trousers, a simple white blouse, a grey blazer with three-quarter length sleeves and a pair of bright turquoise wedges. She clasped a necklace around her neck in the exact same colour as the shoes she was wearing. She suddenly realised that her hands were shaking a fraction, she didn't even feel nervous so couldn't understand why she was shaking. _**I know I've got no choice, there's no question about this any more. **_She knew she didn't have to be at Waterloo Road painfully early that morning and had never been more grateful, Michael didn't know they were going to be presenting the facts and figures that afternoon and she'd like to keep it that way. She knew she couldn't completely avoid Michael and Christine, but she could give it a damn good go.

* * *

Nikki sat next to Lorraine in the Ferrari, the windows open halfway to let the cool morning breeze in. The sun was hidden behind the clouds but it was still warm and the clouds were wispy anyway. Nikki sat in silence, listening to Lorraine talk about budgets and staff cuts. Moaning about Michael and Christine. Complaining incessantly. She knew she was only getting it off her chest but it was actually beginning to aggravate Nikki, who's nerves were shaky already.

"What d'you think about that?" Lorraine asked, quickly turning her head to look at Nikki and then abruptly turning it back to watch the road. _**Crap! What's she been talking about?**_

"Hmm." Nikki hummed, hoping her voice remained neutral enough to make Lorraine believe she'd been listening and just genuinely wasn't sure how she felt about it... whatever _it_ was.

"Are you okay?" Lorraine responded, her voice laced with concern. _**She clearly wasn't fooled by my reply. **_Nikki swallowed hard, it felt almost as if mini daggers were being stabbed into the sides of her throat.

"I'm fine. Yeah, I'm good," Nikki began, not being able to hear how her voice was being conveyed, "Just got a busy day." That wasn't entirely a lie, she had four classes to teach. Four hours of unruly kids, with one free hour in the middle... to mark work from the other previous lessons.

"Don't forget we've got to do the presentation after school." Lorraine reminded her, she'd almost managed to put it out of her mind until then.

"I'm sure that'll be a laugh then." Nikki replied, her tone un-enthusiastic and anxious. She was trying to cover her worry by sounding uninterested but it probably wasn't very successful.

"It's not a time to joke around Nik, this is serious stuff." Lorraine responded, obviously not sussing out that Nikki was trying to keep her spirits up.

"Do you seriously think I don't realise that, Lorraine? I know that it's not going to be fun... it was sarcasm." Nikki shot back, her temper too short; she practically made Lorraine jump.

"I'm sorry Nik. I'm just tired, I didn't think. Just me being stupid again." Lorraine replied quietly, unsure how to approach Nikki at that moment. She turned the Ferrari into the car park of Waterloo Road, it was busier than it often was when they arrived.

"You're not being stupid, I'm just being stubborn. I'm tired too... doing this presentation is the last thing we need today." Nikki breathed, her tone softer now, regret lacing her voice.

"Yes... but we have no choice. Get the bloody thing over with... quicker we get the finances sorted the better." Lorraine answered, purely professional now. Her shoulders slightly more raised, her back slightly straighter, a false air of confidence loomed over her.

"Then we will have one less thing to stress over." Nikki replied, her tone still airing on the side of being careless.

"Could you do me a huge favour and look over the presentation again sometime before later?" Lorraine asked in return, her voice much more soothing now... wasted on Nikki right then because she was so stressed she barely noticed.

"I'll give it a go... I'll have to shit miracles to pull off all this stuff that needs doing today." Nikki's tone still too harsh, too brash. She hated how she was speaking to Lorraine but she couldn't stop herself.

"I'm sorry Nik. You don't have to..." Lorraine trailed off, knowing her words would be wasted.

"I do though... and anyway I want to do it," Nikki replied, forcing a smile as she picked up her handbag and got out of the car, "I do want to."

* * *

The bell rang out signalling the start of the third lesson of the day and by now, Nikki had already lost all ability to control her temper. She sat down at her desk and waited for the pupils in her next class to mill in, in dribs and drabs as they turned up from wherever they'd been loitering during break time. She watched pupils sit down at whichever desks they chose. _**This seating plan won't be lasting long. **_She anxiously picked at a piece of loose skin on her finger, she felt ridiculous but couldn't stop herself. Suddenly she stopped as she noticed someone walk in though her door wearing black skinny jeans and leather boots. It was Barry Barry. _**You've got to be taking the piss. This must be a mistake. This is ridiculous. **_Her stomach dropped inside her, feeling like a heavy weight pressing down on her other organs. Her breath caught in the back of her throat as she went to say some unknown sentence. Her eyes felt heavy, as though they were pricked with perilous tears. _**I let Michael allocate classes to the PRU kids, why wouldn't he think to do this?**_ Even by Michael's standards, this was a low blow. There's a line between making a point and something turning into discrimination... it was rapidly heading that way.

"Alright Miss Boston." Barry said, his voice making Nikki's skin crawl. He sounded seedy but petulant. Barry sat himself down in a seat at the centre on the classroom and promptly rested his feet on the table.

"Feet down, Barry." Nikki calmly ordered. Refusing to lower herself to his level.

"Why should I? It's a free country." Barry muttered, a smug smile dancing on his lips.

"It's a free school too... remember that. You don't have to be kept here." Nikki responded, her voice faltering slightly but still managing to keep her cool as she violently tucked her chestnut hair behind her ears. Barry Barry turned to a boy who was sat at the table next to him and raised his eyebrows, that boy obviously understood what that meant because he lifted his legs off the floor and crossed them on top of the table.

"Boys, get your feet down!" Nikki raised her voice now, frustrated by Barry's antics and it was only 5 minutes into the lesson.

"No Miss, make me." Barry spat with his usual sarcastic wit.

"Can I _please_ have some quiet for the register? At least give me that." Nikki called out amongst the mutterings, which slowly died down a little. She minimised the document which her and Lorraine were going to be presenting later. She'd finished checking through it by now but left the tab open in case she got the urge to check over it again later. She opened up the register and began to call the names of pupils she'd never taught but had heard of several times, managing to get through it fairly quickly. Nikki gave each pupil a worksheet on the structure of poems and heard them grumble and groan at the prospect of writing poetry. There was a sudden knock at the door, Nikki immediately turned to look who it was. She saw that it was Tom and got up from her chair to go and speak to him.

"Read through the sheet in front of you whilst I go and speak to Mr Clarkson about something." Nikki instructed, avoiding making any sort of eye contact with Barry Barry. She pulled open the door, stepped outside and closed it tightly behind her.

"Alright Tom?" Nikki asked, with a confused tinge to her voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Haven't got a class to teach at the moment so thought I'd come and see how you're fairing being back with the best of us." Tom laughed but his voice was genuinely concerned and considerate as he stepped to the side, away from the view of Nikki's class full of pupils.

"Thanks Tom, well I'm not doing too bad except for the fact I've somehow got landed with Mr. Barry in there." Nikki responded, her voice emotionless, almost jokey. She wasn't going to let Tom see that she was so tormented by Barry... the only person she could bare knowing about that was Lorraine, and she was the only person she couldn't feasibly speak to right now.

"How have you ended up teaching him in mainstream classes aswell, surely now that you could avoid it, you would have?" Tom replied, confused and shaking his head in disbelief.

"Michael allocated the PRU kids their new classes, so..." Nikki began to say but trailed off as she knew she'd promptly regret opening up to Tom.

"That man needs sorting out. What happened to him? He wasn't like this in the beginning." Tom responded, causing Nikki to raise her eyebrows in mock shock. She knew the answer to Tom's rhetorical question and she was sure he did too... the answer was simply, Christine Mulgrew. "Right, thanks for checking in on me. I'm fine." Nikki eventually replied, swallowing hard to try and prevent her voice from faltering. She might get on well with Tom and he might be one of the only people at Waterloo Road who wasn't against everything her and Lorraine ever said but she still wouldn't open up to him. He had never been the biggest fan of Lorraine Donnegan, but he was pretty good friends with Nikki by now and Lorraine made her happy... so he had sort of grown to like Lorraine that little bit more.

"Right, I shall leave you with Mr. Barry then. Enjoy." Tom answered sarcastically, turning and walking away. Nikki took an extremely deep breath and released it through her nose to calm herself down before going back into her classroom. Going back in to face Barry. What she didn't know was that he'd been subtly up to something whilst she'd been gone.

* * *

"Lorraine... how you feeling?" Nikki asked kindly, leaning up against the lockers. It was the end of the day and all Nikki had been thinking about since it started was this presentation. She had refused to let herself look over the presentation again because she knew it would just cause her level of panic to increase. As if Barry Barry wasn't enough to handle.

"I'm not too bad... considering I've got to tell my staff I can't afford to keep them all on and that I'm cutting classes." Lorraine sighed, leaning her hand against the door of the staffroom, her nails painted with her favourite grey nail varnish. Nikki took a step closer to Lorraine and she could almost hear the blonde woman's heart beating, hear her shaky breaths. _**Damn, she's so beautiful.**_

"You can tell me the truth Lorraine, I know it mustn't be easy to do." Nikki whispered, subconsciously reaching out a hand to hold the free one hanging by Lorraine's side.

"If I'm being honest, it's shit. Of course it's shit. They all hate me anyway..." Lorraine mumbled, closing her twinkling eyes tightly; cutting herself off from the stark lighting of the corridor, from the almost industrial looking walls. Feeling Nikki's warm skin against her palm, feeling the electric sensation. Lorraine clenched her fingers; interlocking hers with Nikki's.

"Lorraine, you're only doing what's best for the school. So what if people don't agree with you?" Nikki replied, trying to reassure her but not being able to find the right words.

"I still don't want to constantly fight against my staff Nik, you can see that... surely?" Lorraine sighed, still holding Nikki's hand in her own but loosening her grip.

"I know Lorraine, but just think that even if they're not all for your ideas straight away, they either adjust or they leave." Nikki responded, smiling warmly at Lorraine. Swallowing her own nerves.

"Thank you, it just seems ridiculous." Lorraine answered, smiling shyly at the woman opposite her. She marvelled at Nikki's ability to calm her down about things and all she wanted to do right then was hug her. She fought the urge because she couldn't bare the remarks off the staff... but otherwise she would have. She would have hugged her and never let go.

"Come on, let's get in there and get this whole thing over with. They can either like it or lump it... eh?" Nikki playfully tapped Lorraine's arm as she turned to go into the staffroom.

"Here goes nothing." Lorraine laughed in response, covering up the nervous shake to her voice. Stepping through the staffroom door, Lorraine forced her anxieties to the back of her mind and put on her usual I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude.

"Thank you all for coming here, you're probably wondering what it's for." Lorraine began nonchalantly, striding over to set the laptop up and connect it to the projector.

"I'm sure we'll regret it, whatever it is." Christine chirped, with a smug smile.

"There's no need for that Ms. Mulgrew." Audrey mumbled, her voiced laced with it's familiar shocked tone. Christine rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest stubbornly.

"Right, I'm going to be making some big changes around here." Lorraine continued, ignoring Christine's childish quip. She clicked the slide of the presentation to move it onto the first bit of data.

"Several of the classes are under-subscribed at GCSE and especially at A-Level." Nikki announced, anxiously glancing at Lorraine who seemed to have adopted an entirely casual attitude by now.

"The subjects that are worst affected are some of the non-academic courses, with Music, Drama and Hospitality at the forefront." Lorraine's strong accent cut through the deathly silence.

"We're not suggesting we cut out these subjects entirely because they can be vital to certain pupils futures, but if the intake doesn't pick up when we review this year's A-Level choices we're going to have to think about drastically cutting class sizes." Nikki spoke confidently, the nervous shake to her voice barely noticeable now. Lorraine could hear the mumblings as teachers discussed whether the statistics on screen concerned them or not. Lorraine pressed the button on the laptop to move the presentation onto the next slide, however she wasn't expecting what she saw. Her eyes flashed across the screen and she couldn't say a word. Nikki turned to read the screen and as she read it, an agonising ache formed in the pit of her stomach. _**It's got to be him. I'm going to kill him. The kid is a fucking bastard.**_ She looked around and all she could see were the last scraps of respect for her, leave staff which barely respected her to begin with. The words 'nikki Boston is a DYKE' were written in an excessively large font across the screen. The terrible grammar was proof enough that it was a pupil. Nikki could feel her cheeks burning scarlet, her eyes were filling with tears and she had a lump in her throat preventing her from speaking. She couldn't do anything and her heart was beating painfully fast. She turned around and traipsed across the staffroom, hearing her shoes hit against the floor too forcefully. She swung the door closed behind her, knowing that it would create an almighty bang.

Lorraine debated in her head what to do, her eyes nervously flicking around the room. _**Fuck it. All the information is on the screen, someone else can present that. For once in my life, I'll do the right thing and put someone's feelings over business.**_

"Tom, if you could just finish up here... I'll make it up to you." Lorraine asked slightly too desperately.

"Okay, go on." Tom replied, brushing his hand across her shoulder in a friendly manner as she walked away from the computer. She could hear the staff whispering behind her but by now she couldn't care less.

"Nikki... Nikki." Lorraine called as she closed the heavy door behind her. Nikki's stomach tightened as she listened to Lorraine's gorgeous accent. She was sat on the stairs with her head in her hands, her cheeks streaked with delicate tears. She felt ridiculous. She just wanted to get up and go home, she wanted to escape the oppressive atmosphere of Waterloo Road. Escape the embarrassment. Lorraine sat down on the dusty stairs next to Nikki and put her arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her.

"What the fuck just happened?" Nikki mumbled, her words being dampened by her hands still covering her face.

"Nik, I don't know. Who did that? It's incredibly immature." Lorraine said quietly, knowing speaking loudly wouldn't be any help to Nikki right then.

"Fucking Barry Barry." Nikki retorted, dropping her hands into her lap now, lacking the energy or the inclination to hide her tear-streaked cheeks any longer.

"How have you even got Barry in your class? Oh my God, I've had it with Michael now, he's done this on purpose!" Lorraine responded, seething, her teeth clamped too tightly.

"Lorraine, don't do anything. Please." Nikki practically pleaded, her voice shaky as she buried the tears deeper that she was constantly attempting to suppress.

"Tom's finishing off the presentation for us Nik, I'm not going back in there. I'll deal with Michael tomorrow." Lorraine answered, feeling Nikki's body slump slightly as she relaxed, a weight being lifted off her shoulders. Nikki turned her head so that her chin leaned in the crook of Lorraine's neck, just like a toddler rests it's head to go to sleep.

"I'm sorry." Nikki breathed, barely forcing the words out of her dry lips.

"You don't need to be sorry, that bastard in there needs to be sorry." Lorraine responded abruptly, unable to contain her feelings of anger towards Michael.

"Still... everything seems to get caused by Barry Barry." Nikki answered quietly. Lorraine rested her hand on Nikki's head, she wasn't really used to being to one doing the comforting. She felt awkward but couldn't bare to see Nikki cry. Seeing Nikki cry felt like someone was squeezing the breath from her own lungs. She smoothed her hair down, tucking it back behind her ears.

"Come on darling, I'm not sitting on these steps. I don't know what I'd do if any of the staff saw us now... I don't know if I even care anymore." Lorraine whispered into Nikki's hair, kissing her head, making her words difficult to distinguish.

"It's not like they haven't all been told... twice... by Barry Barry. They all know, it just happens Michael and Christine use it as ammunition." Nikki replied, her voice laced with mock confidence as she tried to convince herself, as much as Lorraine, that she didn't care about any of this. She leaned in to Lorraine and quickly stole a kiss from the blonde woman's lips, hot anger lingering there. Aware of Lorraine's real attitude towards Michael actually catching them kissing, she pulled her lips away almost immediately. Nikki cared about things far more than she ever should... Barry Barry had the ability to break her and she couldn't resist it any longer. He could break every scrap of dignity she had and every scrap of self-confidence. Chipping away at the surface until it all gets too much. Lorraine was the only thing that counteracted everything Barry Barry did... Lorraine was all Nikki wanted right then.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thanks to all those who read, and to those who essentially shout at me for always doubting myself. To the person who asked if Carrie will become an important character... you'll have to wait and see. And to the person who asked if I'll keep writing once Lorraine leaves... OF COURSE. Haha. I don't know how I feel about this chapter whatsoever so... yeah. It's not a long one but... Here you go. I'm not prepared for Lorraine's departure tonight, not at all. **

***** Just a word of warning: mention of self harm in this chapter. *****

* * *

Nikki felt the agonising ache in her stomach, her chest was tight and her head banging. She'd had a niggling headache since the beginning of the day but fighting back tears was making it increasingly worse. Lorraine wouldn't let Nikki stay on her own, not least until she'd calmed down. Nikki put up minimal protest, she wanted to look strong in front of Lorraine but in reality, she knew she would fall apart without her there. Nikki's eyes were too bright, gleaming with fresh tears as they approached her flat. Once she'd deftly unlocked the door to her own flat, she told Lorraine to make herself comfortable whilst she popped to the toilet.

* * *

Nikki sat on the toilet, the lid tightly shut, glancing around the room. She felt sick as her stomach flipped and twisted itself into knots. She clenched her fists, then extended her fingers as if to try and rid herself of the thoughts whizzing through her mind. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, biting down on her lip to try and stop them falling. Her heart was pounding. She hated the thoughts in her mind but could do nothing to shake them... she wasn't even sure if she wanted to. She reached her left hand out to the side of her and felt the cold metal brush against her fingers. A shiver ran through her body as her fingers clutched at the blade.

_**Fuck. What am I doing? I can't let him get to me like this. I can't let him push me to this. How weak does that make me?**_

She clasped the blade in her hand, not wanting to look at it, not wanting to think about what she was considering after all this time. She swallowed hard, another futile attempt to stave off tears. Her lashes already damp with salty tears, a single tear meandered down her cheek until it came to rest on her lip. Her hand was shaking as she held the small blade between her thumb and forefinger, looking at the blade then at her pale-skinned arm. She was imagining what she would do with that blade and then closed her eyes tightly as she attempted to slow her panicked breaths. She opened her eyes again, her hand steady now; too steady. She held it between her fingers and then suddenly she heard a quiet knock on the wood of the bathroom door.

"You all right in there Nik? You've been a long time." Lorraine called, her strong Cockney accent cutting through the harsh silence in the room. In her state, Nikki had almost entirely forgotten the fact Lorraine was in the flat. Nikki was startled and jumped, causing the blade to fall from her fingers to the tiles below. To Nikki it sounded like a huge clatter, but in reality it barely made a sound.

"I'm... I'm... Um... Fine." Nikki mumbled, her voice cracking significantly as she pointlessly lied to Lorraine. She wanted to move to pick up the blade, hide it from Lorraine. Hide her weakness. Maintain her pride. However, her body felt numb and no matter how much she willed herself, she couldn't move. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She heard the door handle click down, she'd forgotten to lock it. She was panicking but she couldn't will herself to stop Lorraine coming in. Her mind was befuddled, drowning in negative emotions. All of a sudden Lorraine was stood in front of her with a sympathetic look on your face.

"Nikki, what are you doing?" Lorraine asked anxiously, awkwardly looking around the bathroom.

"I'm not doing anything." Nikki responded, her voice barely audible, shaking as she tried to calm her panicked breaths.

"What_ were _you doing?" Lorraine urged, raising her eyebrows slightly, as if to encourage the words from the other woman's lips.

"I... I..." Nikki trailed off as she went to meet Lorraine's gaze. As her eyes passed over her, she noticed her outstretched hand, palm side up. In the middle of her palm lay a small metal razor blade.

"You don't need this," Lorraine protested, throwing the blade into the sink, "I'm here to listen to you talk about things. Don't hurt yourself... Please!"

Nikki found it strange Lorraine was comforting her, she wasn't used to being comforted. She was usually so fearless and stony-faced and for anyone, especially Lorraine, to see her like this made her feel light-headed and nauseous.

"I'm sorry. I hate it. I'm so crap." Nikki mumbled into her clenched fists, finally realising just how close she'd come to throwing away all the hard work she'd managed, not to rely on that. How long she'd restrained herself from giving in to her vice.

"You're not, Nik. You're not. Come here." Lorraine whispered, her voice soothing and calm. Her arms were outstretched to Nikki with a smile. Nikki stood up and was pulled towards Lorraine gently.

"I'm here if you want to talk." Lorraine repeated, just to make sure it had sunk into the woman's head.

"I'm shit at talking, I can't talk about stuff. I don't do talking." Nikki muttered, slightly angry at herself more than anything else.

"You do distractions though, don't you?" Lorraine whispered, her voice slightly more seductive now.

"Mmm." Nikki breathed, smiling slightly but not being able to reply with anything else.

"I don't want to do anything you don't want to. Sooo... do you want to..." Lorraine was cut short by Nikki, who planted a careful kiss on her lips.

"I'm not using you to distract me, I'm doing this anyway. You just happen to be very skilled at blocking out my other thoughts." Nikki assured her, a weak smile dancing across her lips.

"Are you saying... y'know...?" Lorraine responded awkwardly, causing her cheeks to blush a pale scarlet. Nikki nodded her head affectionately and bit her lip seductively. She wiped the tears from her eyes for what she hoped would be the last time for a while. Lorraine was stood there in front of her now and suddenly nothing else mattered.

"Mmm." Lorraine breathed, lust preventing her from saying anything more.

"Well get out of my bathroom then!" Nikki giggled.

"Alright! Look... I'm glad you didn't, y'know, do anything." Lorraine mumbled, unsure whether Nikki had even heard her as she'd turned to leave the bathroom.

* * *

Once both women had made their way into the living room, Nikki properly noticed that Lorraine had already taken her wedges off and also noticed that her blazer was slung on the back of the sofa. Her slender arms exposed to the warm air circulating inside the flat. Lorraine had to now lean right forward onto the balls of her feet to reach Nikki's lips. Nikki's strong arms were secure around the woman's petite waist to hold her close. Nikki leaned down slightly, the height difference wasn't all that substantial but both women wanted to be as close to each other as possible. Nikki could feel her heart beating faster due to Lorraine's touch. Lorraine's breaths were shallow and sharp; shaky as she kissed Nikki carefully on her bottom lip. Nikki tucked a loose curl neatly back behind the woman's ear, then carefully grabbed her blouse collars in her hands, making sure she didn't pull them too hard. Lorraine suddenly felt a peculiar wave of nervousness wash over her, but quickly dismissed it as Nikki planted a kiss on her neck; on her pulse-point, feeling the blood shudder through the artery. Feeling it shudder against her warm lips. _One button undone. _Lorraine wrapped her arms around Nikki's lower back, causing their bodies to collide. As their hips crashed together Nikki kissed Lorraine forcefully, causing the quietest moan to part her lips. _Two buttons. Three buttons._ Nikki expertly kissed the smooth flesh above the woman's lacy bra, teasing her. Making her squirm around, in Nikki's arms.

"Mmm." Lorraine moaned again, still so quietly. Lorraine haphazardly grabbed at Nikki's t-shirt until the woman got impatient and clasped it in her own hands and pulled it off over her head.

"That's for me to do!" Lorraine stoically exclaimed, as she saw the striped fabric fall to the floor.

"Do I look like I care? Control freak!" Nikki responded, her tone incredibly flirtatious.

Lorraine touched the delicate skin at Nikki's waist with her gentle hands. She planted staccato kisses on Nikki's left collarbone, leaving a trail of almost invisible red marks. Lorraine was determined to remain in control this time, Nikki deserved to relax. Her heart was racing, pulsating against her rib cage. She moved her hands from Nikki's waist, to her face, capturing her cheekbones between both of her hands and planting a single kiss on the woman's smiling lips. Then she ran her fingers through Nikki's short bobbed hair, it felt silky soft against her skin. Dragging her forefinger from the edge of the woman's bra, over her toned abdominal muscles and down to the waistband of her smart trousers, she caused Nikki's body to shudder with anticipation. She kissed at Lorraine's lips hungrily; along her jawline; causing the woman to be distracted momentarily. Lorraine's breath caught at the back of her throat for a fraction of a second. Her heart was still pounding but all she could think about was Nikki. Undoing the button on the woman's trousers, undoing the zip, sliding the fabric down over her hips slowly. Torturously. Nikki stealing kisses from Lorraine's lips the whole time, those strawberry-sweet lips. A moan, slightly louder than those of Lorraine, departed the lips of the other woman. A gentle hand now tracing minute circles on Nikki's inner thigh, admiring the rather feminine underwear the woman happened to be wearing. Not being able to withstand Lorraine's teasing any longer, barely able to stay standing, Nikki made an attempt to say something. Lost words as she felt Lorraine's hand move further up her thigh. On a second attempt to speak, she managed to encourage the words from her lips.

"Bed!... Or are we just staying here?" her voice filled with questionable emotions, however the most prominent of all of those was adoration. Nikki's stomach felt as though it was filled with butterflies, ripples of excitement and anticipation mingling with these. With a wide smile, a flirtatious giggle and a childish wink, Lorraine pushed Nikki backwards onto the soft sofa and breathed her words up against the sensitive skin of the woman's neck.

"I think here will do just fine."


	20. Chapter 20

**Oh look, yet another chapter that is probably far more rambly than it really needs to be. I have no life so I just write fanfic all day. Right, the beginning of this chapter is disgustingly cute and soppy because Lorraine's departure has officially turned my brain to total mush. I don't even know what's going on with it. Basically, thanks for sticking with it. I don't know. I wonder how many of the Lorikki shippers will drift away now that Lorraine has left? I don't even know what I'm talking about. If you fancy dropping me a review... I don't know. Enjoy. X**

* * *

A faint ray of sunlight crept through the black cotton curtains hung at Nikki's bedroom window. Turning over onto her side, towards the window, Nikki wrapped her strong arms around Lorraine's waist. She barely even knew that she was doing it, she was still in a sleepy daze.

"Are you awake?" Nikki breathed against the cool skin of Lorraine's neck. She kissed her skin gently, her lips barely skimming across it. She brushed a stray curl from over Lorraine's face, seeing her eyes were still closed, her hair looked almost transparent in the faint light. She gently ran her finger across Lorraine's cheekbone, her skin torturously smooth. She could smell the sweet perfume on Lorraine's neck, kissing her pulse point so gently she was sure the woman wouldn't be able to feel it. However, Lorraine breathed a quiet groan as she stirred from her sleep. She looked so innocent, so picturesque. Her skin cleansed of make-up but still entirely flawless, her hair splayed out on the pillow. Nikki dragged her fingers across Lorraine's shoulder-blades, leaving invisible lines across her skin, and felt the woman roll over slightly to look at her. Her lower body pressed against Nikki's, the only thing between them was the thin fabric of a bed sheet. Nikki felt her body tense up at the sensation, she swallowed hard as she felt a tiny shiver run up her spine.

"Morning beautiful." Nikki breathed, her lips just centimetres away from Lorraine's now; staring into her sky blue eyes, her pupils dilated as she adjusted to the pale sunlight. Nikki's heart was racing, Lorraine had never looked more innocent... she just looked so relaxed.

"Morning babe." Lorraine whispered, her voice catching in her throat due to only just waking up. Lorraine pulled one arm out from under the bed sheet, awkwardly reaching it up to meet Nikki's face. Her hair entwined between her fingers, Lorraine pulled Nikki's head towards her own. Just a brief meeting of lips, sweet tension between the women. Lorraine wriggled around, trying to remain in Nikki's embrace, until her back was facing towards the window. She smiled childishly as she looked into Nikki's eyes. Lorraine was well and truly still caught in the daze of having only just woken up. Now both women were facing each other, Nikki tucked her arms into the bed sheet and wrapped them back around Lorraine's waist.

"Mmm." Lorraine breathed involuntarily, Nikki giggled slightly as a pale scarlet glow crept across the woman's cheeks. Skin on skin. The minuscule electric sparks between the women as their bodies touched. Lorraine's heart was racing, dizzy with the ecstasy of waking up in Nikki's arms.

"Sleep well?" Nikki mumbled, her voice husky. Lorraine was fixated on her lips; imagining kissing them again, over and over again in the pale sunlight.

"Yes... like a rock. What d'you expect after last night?" Lorraine giggled, studying Nikki's lips as they turned up at the corners; turned up into an incredibly cute smile.

"That was mostly down to you." Nikki whispered, catching her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Oh I'd say you played a fair part in it, from what I remember anyway." Lorraine breathed, her voice laden with sex. Her tone agonisingly enticing.

"You're pretty amazing considering you've never been with a woman before." Nikki muttered, she didn't even know what she was saying until she heard the words leave her lips.

"Well you're very... receptive... I guess." Lorraine shyly responded, her mind full of thoughts of the previous night. Memories of hearing Nikki scream her name as she writhed around amongst bed sheets. Her stomach twisted as she tried to shake the thoughts out of her mind, tried to concentrate on the current chemistry between them.

"Shh you," Nikki breathed, resisting the urge to kiss her beautiful lips again, "What time is it?"

Lorraine twisted her torso so she could reach out to check the clock on the bedside table next to her. The sheet slipped down, uncovering Lorraine's exposed breasts. Nikki tried desperately hard not to let her gaze drift, she felt slightly awkward admiring the woman without her knowledge.

"Half six." Lorraine muttered, amazed at the fact they'd both managed to wake up that early without an alarm.

"What time are we going to the hell hole then?" Nikki smirked, wondering how long they could languish in their current state of happiness.

"Ahh... well we've got to have a word with Michael about his stupid attitude and about Barry Barry." Lorraine responded, her voice quiet and conveying how little she wanted to confront Michael.

"We've got a while then..." Nikki whispered, her eyes glinting with flirtation.

"Hmm... at least half hour." Lorraine replied, running a slender finger across Nikki's prominent collar bones, sending a shiver through the woman's body.

"What can we do in half an hour?" Nikki asked suggestively, tangling her legs with Lorraine's; the perfectly smooth skin of her bare legs against Nikki's.

"I... But... But it's... You..." Lorraine babbled, not being able to form a sentence, not really knowing what she wanted to say.

"It's alright darling, I didn't mean to freak you out." Nikki soothed, absent-mindedly playing with a perfect curl at the front of Lorraine's hair.

"You didn't, babe, you didn't. I just... All this is still weird. I mean, I'm not used to waking up next to someone." Lorraine mumbled, smiling tentatively as she intertwined her fingers with Nikki's.

"Does it scare you?" Nikki asked, her voice a mixture of seriousness and slight seductiveness. Lorraine didn't say anything but nodded her head anxiously. Nikki's heart skipped a beat at Lorraine's anxiety, her innocence.

"I won't leave you on your own, you know that... don't you?" Nikki whispered, her eyes flickering from Lorraine's sky blue eyes, to her pale lips and back to her eyes.

"It's just... I don't trust myself not to mess it up." Lorraine sighed, her gentle eyelids fluttered closed as she tried to disguise her embarrassment.

"I trust you not to mess it up. Anyway, I could have anyone I want... I'm just sticking around until I find someone better." Nikki replied, contradicting the last thing she said. She was trying her hardest to suppress a giggle, trying to hide that she was joking. Her eyes were glistening with laughter, waiting to hear Lorraine's response.

"Oh like that is it lady? I'll have to prove to you why you should stick around then... will I?" Lorraine answered, a hint of nervousness in her voice but mostly laced with flirtation.

"Hmm..." Nikki began, she chewed on her bottom lip as she studied Lorraine's current facial expression. Lorraine tickled Nikki's sides, causing her body to curl up in defence... not being able to stop herself laughing.

"How old are you Lorraine? You're like a bloody teenager!" Nikki exclaimed, trying to keep a straight face, raising her eyebrows in protest.

"What are you going to do about it?" Lorraine responded, unable to hide the suggestiveness of her tone. Nikki pulled Lorraine's head forwards, digging her nails into her scalp as she did so. Hungrily kissing her, apprehensively nibbling her bottom lip and causing the blonde woman to moan ever so quietly.

"That'll probably do it." Lorraine breathed, laughing against Nikki's lips. Nikki smiled, then both women began to passionately kiss all over again. Gently at first but rapidly becoming much less careful. They both knew this wouldn't be able to last long, but for the time being they were completely lost in each other's ecstasy.

* * *

"Don't blame me if Michael has a go at you for being late," Nikki announced to Lorraine, still studying her face and now her figure too, "We left my flat in plenty time... It's just the fact you took hours to get ready."

Lorraine raised her eyebrows in protest, smirking slightly. "Oi, stop exaggerating! Anyway, Michael doesn't know I need to speak to him." The blonde retorted.

"Well... You took at least forty minutes. What were you doing, looking for the brightest and least professional outfit in your wardrobe?" Nikki responded, unable to contain her mild amusement. Lorraine automatically adjusted her white blazer to sit better over the fabric of her cerise pink dress.

"I've got nothing to lose, so why not? Michael can't exactly say anything about it, I'm not really dressed inappropriately." Lorraine smirked in response, flicking her blonde locks over her shoulder.

"I'm not complaining..." Nikki answered flirtatiously, her eyes now fixated on Lorraine's curls. Her heart was racing as she knew she couldn't kiss the stunning woman stood in front of her... but damn she wished she could.

"I wonder if Christine will be there. If she is, everything becomes ten times more annoying." Lorraine sighed and then rolled her eyes, causing Nikki's stomach to flip.

"Oh, I bet she will." Nikki replied as they pushed open the heavy front doors of Waterloo Road.

Starkly lit corridors, solid wooden doors, the faint smell of bleach and a dodgy kettle were the things which greeted the women on their way into Michael's office. Lorraine had a spring in her step as she practically bounced through the corridors, still on an incredible high from how Nikki made her feel. Nikki was also still on that high, a smile remaining of her lips even though they were going into Michael's office. It felt almost as if they were going into a fight they couldn't win. Then Nikki remembered she had Lorraine on her side. _**No fight is un-winnable when you've got Lorraine Donnegan in your corner. **_Lorraine wrapped her knuckles on the oak door of the headmaster's office, not waiting for a response before walking in... as always.

"Morning Michael." Lorraine announced, sauntering over towards his desk.

"Nice to see you Lorraine... oh, and you Nikki." Michael responded. The look in his eyes conveyed that he wasn't pleased to see either of them but he most certainly didn't want Nikki there.

"No Christine this morning?" Nikki asked, slightly spitefully. It was risky, but he was always far ruder to her than she ever was to him.

"No. She's busy," He quickly shot back, "What do you want Lorraine? We don't have a meeting scheduled."

Lorraine placed a hand on her hip awkwardly, subconsciously.

"No, we don't have a meeting scheduled. I need to speak to you about this situation with Barry Barry. There is _no_ way that he should have been placed in one of Nikki's classes." Lorraine reacted swiftly, her defensive professional side taking over from her soppy romantic side. Nikki would never ever admit it, but Lorraine's professional side was painfully attractive. Nikki was already finding it slightly difficult not to kiss the woman stood next to her, after all... it was less than two hours previously that they were in bed together.

"You said that Nikki could handle Barry better than any of the other staff in this school... so I gave him to her." Michael replied, purposely using Lorraine's own words against her.

"I didn't mean to put him into one of the classes she's teaching... and you damn well know that." Lorraine shot back, trying desperately hard to stay calm. She sighed loudly, over-dramatically.

"Well, other staff can't handle him as well as she can." Michael answered, almost repeating him self in an attempt to defend his point.

"Michael, if Nikki is the only member of staff that can handle him well enough, don't you think it's time for him to go?" Lorraine confidently suggested.

"May I just add, if I'm the only person capable of teaching Barry Barry... why does he still act up, deface property and incessantly disrupt my lessons?" Nikki butted in, not wanting Michael to forget about the things he'd done... even if they couldn't be proved.

"You can't just get rid of him." Michael responded, gritting his teeth and looking between Lorraine and Nikki.

"Suspend him then. Temporarily exclude him. Send him somewhere to learn some God dammed manners!" Lorraine exclaimed, unsure what she was really saying, unsure how angrily her words came across.

"Whatever Lorraine. I thought the PRU was meant to prevent that?" Michael replied slyly. _**If he's trying to guilt trip me it really isn't working.**_

"Well we don't have a PRU anymore. Get used to it Michael." Lorraine snapped back, her voice heavy with painful sarcasm.

"Michael, the PRU was meant to help kids like Barry Barry... not give them a safe haven to behave like hooligans." Nikki reminded him, attempting to dull the fire between him and Lorraine. Her northern accent coming through incredibly strong on certain words, causing Lorraine's stomach to flutter.

"Fine, whatever. You've already decided what you're doing with him. I'll leave Carol Barry for you two to deal with then." Michael defeatistly remarked, passing the buck of Carol Barry onto the two women.

"Okay, that's fine by me." Nikki informed him, hiding the nerves in her voice.

"Good luck with that then." Michael harshly quipped, straightening his tie as he spoke.

"Thanks. We won't need it." Lorraine childishly shot back, glancing over to Nikki with her eyes conveying a slight anxiousness that she wouldn't dare show to Michael.

"Oh, I bet you will." He responded, a horrible slyness in his voice that made Lorraine's skin crawl.

"What's happened to you Michael? What happened to that upbeat guy I convinced to come up here? Where's he gone?" Lorraine asked, a slight sympathy in her tone.

"What happened to that teenage girl I knew who cared about everyone and tried to do everything she could to please people?" Michael shot back, he sounded slightly hurt, clearly avoiding the questions presented to him.

"She grew up Michael! Perhaps you should try it some time." Lorraine casually responded, the words hot on her tongue, biting as they left her lips.

Michael didn't know what to do, and even if he had done, Lorraine didn't give him chance. She stormed out of his office, Nikki turned to Michael for a fraction of a second and shook her head in disappointment and then followed Lorraine. The blonde woman stopped to a dead halt, turning to Sonya who was now sat at her desk and she said, "Will you organise for Mrs Barry to come in for a meeting at break?" No please, no kindness towards her sister. Just residual anger due to Michael's harsh words.

"You alright sis?" Sonya foolishly asked, noticing the sharpness in Lorraine's voice.

"Yes Sonya. Now make sure you remember to get Carol in," Lorraine repeated loudly, then in a much quieter tone mumbled, "Let's get this whole thing over with."

Both women knew confronting Carol Barry on the behaviour of her son was likely to end disastrously, everything to do with Carol Barry ended disastrously.

* * *

Break time came and there was Carol Barry, dressed as though she'd forgotten to grow out of the time she herself was a teenager. They decided to have their meeting in the deputy's office to avoid Michael, and so Tom could be there to keep an eye on proceedings without necessarily having to get at all involved.

"Would you like to take a seat Mrs Barry?" Nikki asked, gesturing to the seats to the side of where she was stood.

"What's this about? I need to be somewhere." Carol muttered in response, shooting an evil glare at the people in the room. Lorraine let out a deep breath as she leaned back nonchalantly in her chair.

"It's about Barry." Lorraine spoke up, already fed up of the woman's carelessness.

"If you're going to start telling me how to look after my kids again I'm not sticking around to hear it." Carol responded quickly, her tone far too sharp for anyone's liking.

"If you could calm down Mrs Barry, it would make all this a lot easier. We don't want to tell you how to look after your kids, when have we ever done that?" Nikki calmly responded, trying to neutralise the situation. Lorraine couldn't help but smile to herself as she admired Nikki's ability to remain calm.

"Like with our Kasey, you all had a good go at telling me what to do with her. Look where that got us!" Carol shot back, knowing that what she said had an element of truth in it.

"Carol, you know that we were only trying to do what we thought was right for Kasey!" Tom called from the other side of the office, not knowing whether it was the right thing to do when he wasn't supposed to be involved.

"I know what's right for my kids. Now what's this about?" Carol muttered, her voice still harsh.

"It's about Barry, we're going to be temporarily excluding him until we work out an alternative set-up for him." Lorraine casually announced, avoiding looking at Carol. She wanted to look at Nikki and stare into her hypnotising sapphire blue eyes. Wanting to be taken away from the whole situation. Wanting to be alone with Nikki again and away from pointless battles with Carol Barry.

"So you're saying our Barry isn't good enough for your school?" The woman spat back, defensively.

"No, not at all Mrs Barry," Nikki began calmly, attempting to coerce the woman into agreeing with Lorraine's deal, "But if you don't agree to let us exclude him temporarily we're just going to have exclude him permanently." Nikki tucked her chestnut hair behind her ears forcefully.

"I don't understand why you aren't trying to keep him here... but whatever so say, eh woman?" Carol retorted, her voice sly and angry. Nikki swallowed hard, annoyed at Carol Barry's inconsiderate nature. Annoyed at how she was speaking to Lorraine.

"We assure you that we've tried our hardest, we really have." Nikki calmly informed her, looking sympathetically in Lorraine's direction.

"From what I've heard you about you two, you can't talk. You need to watch yourself because I'll be back here in a flash." Carol mumbled, an inconspicuous note to her voice.

"I think it might be time for you to leave now Carol, if you don't mind taking Barry home with you and we'll let you know when we know more about how we're going to deal with him. Thank you Mrs Barry." Tom practically ordered, now ushering her towards the door before anything got out of hand.

"I'm still not happy about this." Carol hissed as she stalked out of the office door.

"Thank you Tom." Nikki mumbled, awkwardly glancing towards him from the chair she was still sat in.

"No worries Nikki, she needs bringing down a peg or two." Tom responded, a welcome kindness in his voice.

"Don't we all?" Lorraine whispered, feeling slightly put out by how Carol Barry had spoken to her.

"You're fine Lorraine, she was talking about us in general... not about _us_!" Nikki reassured her, cradling the woman's left hand in both her own, on the tabletop.

"I know Nik, I know." Lorraine mumbled, looking down at their hands. She looked back up, meeting Nikki's gaze and all she wanted to do was kiss the woman in front of her but she was all too well aware of Tom's presence. It was as if he read her mind.

"I'm going to make myself a tea, leave you two to it." Tom announced with a smile on his face. Nikki couldn't take her eyes off Lorraine, however much she tried.

"Shut up Tom." Nikki laughed, rolling her eyes even though she wasn't facing him.

"Oh come on Nikki, you two have been snatching glances like lovestruck teenagers since you got in here," Tom smirked, he was now walking towards the office door, "Good night was it, after the events in the staffroom?"

"Tom, seriously? Like you'd want to know anyway." Nikki responded, noticing the way Lorraine's eyes were searching around the room. She was still so nervous about how people would react to their relationship, she didn't like people knowing anything about it.

"I'm joking Nikki!" Tom scoffed as he pulled down on the cold metal handle and walked out of the office.

"I _know_ you're joking!" Nikki shouted after him, unsure whether he'd hear it due to the fact he'd swung the door shut as he departed. Once she was sure he was truly out of the way she turned back to Lorraine, her eyes warm. She reached a finger up to Lorraine's cheek and gently brushed against it, causing the woman's insides to melt.

"He's right though, isn't he? It was a good night." Lorraine giggled, her cheeks flushing a faint pink; her eyes wandering around the room.

"You could say that, you really could." Nikki replied flirtatiously, playfully nudging the blonde woman. A quiet giggle audible at the back of Lorraine's throat, a warmth in the pit of her stomach and an appreciative glint in her sky blue eyes.

"How you feeling about the whole situation now? Don't let Barry get to you because you're better than that. So much better. Please don't let him get to you." Lorraine practically begged, her voice desperate.

"I'll try Lorraine, I'll try. I'm sorry for worrying you yesterday evening." Nikki mumbled, attempting to convey how thankful she was for everything Lorraine had tried to help with.

"Please... don't let anyone get to you." Lorraine repeated, holding tightly onto Nikki's hand.

"I can't promise... but I promise I'll try." Nikki assured her, trying to convince herself as much as convince Lorraine. She really didn't know if she could manage it.


	21. Chapter 21

**I'm sorry it's been ages since I updated (or ages for me at least) but I've just not been in the mood. This chapter is meant to be just a quick filler chapter so I can continue with some new ideas I have... so that's why it's even more utterly terrible than usual. I might be a bit slow updating again over the coming week, because I have a Welsh oral exam to practice for and I actually fancy trying to pass it, so...y'know. But don't for a second think I'm giving up on this fic...there's plenty more chapters to come, well that's if you guys still want to read them!? X **

* * *

The bell that signalled lunchtime sent pupils into a tornado of bubbling excitement, even the oldest of pupils couldn't wait to get out of lessons when they heard the dull clang of the lunch bell. Nikki couldn't wait for them to get out of lessons, get out of her room, get out of her personal space. Her head was buzzing with a thousand things she needed to remember, a thousand things she'd forget most of as soon as she left the classroom. She didn't even care about the things she was supposed to remember, they were pointless; completely trivial. Marking, planning, organising. Following up on the occasional troublesome pupil. She wasn't in the mood for that. She wanted to see Lorraine, all that she could think of was Lorraine's beauty. Imagining the silk-like curls flowing over her shoulders like translucent silk. Imagining her shimmering blue eyes as they looked deep into her own. Imagining the sway in her hips, her beautiful figure hugged by a tight pencil skirt. She shook the thoughts out of her head, trying to focus on what she was doing. No... Lorraine was still the only thing on her mind. Nikki never really knew where Lorraine would be, due to the fact she could practically come and go however she pleased.

_**Would she be in her office? Would she turn up outside my office? Would she be out at a meeting? Would she be in the staffroom?**_

Nikki scoffed slightly at the final thought that came to mind. Lorraine barely ever went to the staffroom, only if she was forced to. She tried to keep out of the way, she had no false perceptions of how the fellow staff saw her, she knew they didn't like her. For once, Nikki knew that Lorraine didn't have a meeting at all that day... there were still three other options Lorraine had to chose from. Unlocking her phone, she noticed that there were no new messages on the screen. She felt slightly lost, almost empty. She knew it was completely stupid, but she couldn't help it. She wanted to know whether Lorraine was going to meet her for lunch, and if she was, where she was intending to meet her.

_**Fuck it, I'm going to the staffroom to make myself a cuppa and then I'll go and find her. **_

Nikki tugged on her blazer sleeves, the lining fabric was awkwardly twisted and it was beginning to aggravate her. Her heeled boots cracked down on the linoleum floor as she promptly made her way to the staffroom, her hand shaking a fraction as she felt the cold metal of the door handle against her skin.

_**Why am I shaking? For God sake, get a grip.**_

Stopping for a moment to settle her sudden and unexplained nerves, Nikki took a deep breath and pushed open the door. The typical sway in her hips as she strode across the room, completely blanking out everyone in the room. She didn't know why she suddenly felt so terrible, but the only thing she could think of that would prevent her mood falling any further was Lorraine. She knew she wouldn't be able to show any affection towards the woman, but just seeing her would make her happier than she was currently feeling.

"Alright Nikki?" Christine's irritating voice cutting through the emptiness in Nikki's mind. The harshness of her tone spoiling what could be classed as a friendly remark. She clenched her fists, biting her tongue in an attempt to prevent her snide words slipping out. Abruptly nodding her head, Nikki plonked her body down onto one of the semi-comfortable chairs.

"Someone's spirits have dropped, the effects warn off now have they?" Tom attempted to whisper from two seats away.

"Tom, please keep your voice down! I don't want the whole bloody staffroom knowing my personal business." Nikki hissed, shooting him a glare worthy of any enemy. Tom shrugged awkwardly, attempting to express that he was sorry, but Nikki wasn't having any of it at that moment.

"And what personal business would _that _be Miss Boston?" Christine enquired, her voice dripping with a harsh sarcasm.

"Christine... the word _personal _sort of gives away the fact I'm not going to tell you... doesn't it?" Nikki shot back, sitting forwards on her chair to look directly at Christine.

"Oh you don't need to tell us Nikki, I've got several ideas... and it won't take me long to narrow it down to one." The woman's dulcet tones began to rile Nikki further.

"You're getting way too big for your boots you are Christine, take a step back and look at yourself. Look at what's been going on. Do you really have the right to judge me?" Nikki responded, flippantly. She didn't even think, the words just flowed from her mouth like a torrent of pent-up anger and displeasure. She felt a pang of guilt surge through her heart, through her stomach, she didn't normally retaliate with childish spur-of-the-moment comments. This time was clearly an exception.

"Nikki, you can't tell me to take a look at myself when you're the one whose photo was plastered all over the school walls locking lips with a certain benefactor." Christine quipped, her words stung like the flick of a serpent's tongue. Christine smirked slightly, feeling content that she now had one over on Nikki.

"I'm not sitting here listening to this. I don't need to be listening to this." Nikki spat, standing up from her seat and striding away, forcefully tucking her dark chestnut hair behind her ears.

_**No, I'm not leaving. I'm not walking out like an enraged teenager. I'll go and make myself that cuppa. **_

The click of Nikki's boots was muffled by the carpeted floor, she refused to let herself turn to look at the other people within the staffroom. Tom was probably feeling guilty now for saying what he did, or at least Nikki hoped he felt even the tiniest scrap of remorse. She wished she hadn't flipped so easily, but she was already on edge due to the hyperactive pupils she'd been dealing with all morning. She flicked the kettle on and the bubbling water doused the anger in her mind. She carefully placed a mug on the worktop and threw a teabag into it, avoiding looking up from what she was doing. Avoiding looking up and re-immersing herself into the half-whispered comments of her fellow staff members. As she poured an over-generous splash of milk into the mug, the staffroom door swung open and the mumblings of Christine came to an abrupt end.

"Don't stop on my account, people." Lorraine called out, her voice a comfort to Nikki but a burning warning to the rest of the staff. That captivating accent turning Nikki's insides to jelly. A smile dancing across her lips as she looked down at the floor trying to hide her blushing cheeks. Lorraine looked so professional, so powerful as she stood with her hands by her side and her head tilted slightly to the left.

"What do we owe this pleasure?" Audrey whined, her voice always sounded like it had an element of shock in it, but more so now then ever.

"_You _don't owe this pleasure at all Ms. McFall." Lorraine smirked, regretting what she said as soon as she heard the words had parted her lips. Nikki couldn't take her eyes off her, her professionalism was painfully captivating. Her heart was palpitating against her ribs, she couldn't concentrate on finishing making her mug of tea, she couldn't concentrate on anything.

"How are you, Nik?" Lorraine whispered as she walked towards the kitchen, a slight nervousness in her hypnotising eyes.

"Well... they've all got enough opinions to be able to write a bastard newspaper." Nikki sighed, catching Lorraine's gaze again and feeling her stomach twist itself into hundreds of knots. Lorraine frowned the slightest bit, minute frown lines forming on her forehead. She reached her hand out and wrapped it around Nikki's left arm, just above her elbow. Lorraine's touch took Nikki's breath away, she was surprised by how open the woman was being in front of her staff.

"Lorraine..." Nikki whispered, not wanting the woman to feel at all awkward. She couldn't take her eyes off the delicate curls that were framing her gorgeous features. Lorraine paused for a moment, hearing muttered words from the staff members.

"Talk about unprofessional." Christine scoffed, Nikki could tell that she'd rolled her eyes, even without looking at her.

"If that was you and Michael she'd have gone crazy." mumbled a member of staff that neither woman was particularly aware of.

"I know she would have, she is known for being a bit of a hypocrite." Christine shot back. Even though they weren't speaking directly to Nikki and Lorraine, they were purposely speaking loud enough for them to hear.

Lorraine dropped her hand from Nikki's arm, a look of sheer nervousness and embarrassment on her face. She blinked to much, she swallowed too often. Stuck on the spot, unable to move and unable to retaliate to Christine's comment. The worst part of it all was that Nikki couldn't determine how Lorraine was going to react and it was killing her to watch the anxiousness in the beautiful woman's eyes. Nikki could just about hear the mutterings of the staff and she watched Lorraine's face sink further into a frown, her eyes flitting around the staffroom desperately searching for a solution to the predicament she'd gotten herself into. She knew she was being ridiculous, it was only a brief moment of showing affection and now Christine was going to keep on and on about it. Her heart was racing and her breathing was slightly too ragged. She dropped her phone from her slender fingers and watched as it fell to the floor behind the worktop, shielded from the eyes of the rest of the staffroom. Lorraine cursed under her breath, causing an adorable smile to dance across Nikki's pale lips. The blonde woman knelt down to pick her phone up, cautiously balancing on her stilettos with her hair covering her face. Nikki nervously made the decision that she no longer cared what any one else was going to say, she'd had a guts full of the childish quips of Christine and the other staff members. She knelt down next to Lorraine and carefully brushed a curl away from her face.

"Come on Lo, don't do this. We've got a while, come and chill out in my office." Nikki whispered, her voice laced with pure comfort, her voice shaking a fraction.

"No Nik, just give me a break." Lorraine sighed, turning her head away from Nikki, hiding her face so she couldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Come on Lorraine, I understand if this bothers you... it's totally fine." Nikki reassured her, standing back up so not to evoke too much suspicion from other teachers. Lorraine blinked furiously, swallowing back the tears ebbing at her lids. Hating herself for letting their stupid little comments break her like that. She stood up and nodded her head slightly, towards Nikki.

"What have you been doing down there ladies?" Christine called out again, sarcasm filling her voice. Nikki took a deep breath and prepared to have a pop at Christine for being so rude, but suddenly someone else was doing it for her. It was Tom.

"Whatever you think about Nikki's teaching ability or credibility as deputy head, there's no need for you to use personal details against her." Tom commanded, his voice strict but almost emotionless.

"She shouldn't flaunt it then." Christine smirked, again feeling like she could get one over on Nikki.

"Oh will you just shut it Christine, remember... I pay your wages. How many times am I going to have to remind you of that?" Lorraine instructed, she didn't even know that she was speaking until she saw the look on Christine's face alter from content to shocked. Lorraine began to stalk across the staffroom towards the door, looking back nonchalantly and hoping that Nikki would catch her eye. She did.

Nikki shot a violent glare at Christine and then followed Lorraine out of the door, watching the sway of her gorgeously slim hips as she walked.

* * *

Once they were both in the corridor, Nikki stopped Lorraine dead in her tracks by placing her strong hands on her shoulders.

"Lorraine, please slow down. I'm sorry about all that in there, I feel slightly responsible... you know, with what I said to Tom and everything." Nikki mumbled, tucking a loose curl of Lorraine's hair back behind her ear.

"Yeah Nik, d'you know what... this is your fault." Lorraine breathed, her voice cracking as she turned to walk away. Her heels clicked along the floor, she wasn't sure where she was planning on walking to but she just needed to get away.

"Lorraine, Lorraine." Nikki called, trying to keep her voice down. Her heart was pounding against her ribs and her breathing was shallow. She felt painfully guilty for what she'd said to Tom. Lorraine could hear Nikki calling her name but she couldn't convince herself to turn back to look at her. They were just approaching Nikki's office now and Lorraine hadn't even realised she'd been walking towards it.

"Lorraine." Nikki called more desperately this time, her voice conveying how sorry she felt about the situation she'd got them in to. She reached her hand out to grab Lorraine's arm, she missed but the blonde woman stopped walking anyway. Nikki opened the door to the deputy head's office slowly.

"Lorraine, at least come in and talk to me. Please." Nikki whispered, trying to keep her tone as neutral as possible.

"Nikki, I can't deal with all this... All this shit." Lorraine sighed, looking away from Nikki again. Nikki reached out and grabbed onto Lorraine's hand as she shut the office door behind her.

"Lo, I'm sorry. I know you're not used to all the bullshit you get over this. You shouldn't have to be used to it. I'm sorry." Nikki mumbled as she reached her hand up slowly towards Lorraine's cheek.

"Nikki, I can't do this." Lorraine whispered, her voice cracking substantially as she did so.

"You can, don't let them get to you. Just ignore Christine, she's just jealous of how amazing you are." Nikki smiled, playing with a curl of Lorraine's hair again, without even realising.

"She's right though... I am a hypocrite." Lorraine protested, barely registering Nikki's compliments. Barely registering her touch. She swallowed too hard again, trying to stop herself crying because she refused to be that weak.

"You're perfect though Lorraine. Christine doesn't realise just how amazing you really are, she just sees you as the multi-millionaire that you portray yourself as." Nikki attempted to convince her of what _she_ already knew was true. She wanted to kiss Lorraine's beautifully glossed lips but she knew she couldn't, she knew kissing Lorraine at that moment would make all of it a whole lot worse.

"Nikki... what did I do to deserve you?" Lorraine breathed, a smile finally breaking the stony look of sadness on her flawless face.

"Hmm... perhaps it's the vast amounts of money you have, the Ferrari or the big house," Nikki giggled, winking so that Lorraine knew she wasn't being serious, "Or maybe it's just something else..." Nikki didn't want to elaborate any further on what she had said, unsure whether it was the right time to explain exactly why Lorraine meant so much to her. She didn't even know what she'd wanted to say anyway.

"Christine will go straight to Michael and exaggerate everything, you do know that don't you Nik?" Lorraine muttered, nervously glancing away from the woman in front of her. Her throat was horribly dry as she forced the words from her lips, she felt utterly ridiculous.

"Lorraine, there were other people there who know damn well _nothing _happened, it's not as if mild public displays of affection aren't common place within the staffroom here." Nikki assured her, tilting her head so their eyes were perfectly aligned. Nikki still wanted to kiss Lorraine's gorgeous lips put she restrained herself, not knowing whether Lorraine's would appreciate it right then.

"Thanks." Lorraine mumbled, trying to encourage her usual confidence into her voice.

"Come here you." Nikki instructed kindly, reaching out her powerful arms to embrace the petite, and still nervous-looking woman. Lorraine took a tentative step forward and allowed Nikki to hug her close.

"I'm hugging you and you're going to get all your make up on my clothes, aren't you?" Nikki laughed into Lorraine wonderful locks, feeling the woman's whole body relax.

She nuzzled her head into Nikki momentarily, almost guaranteeing that there'd be make up on her collar afterwards. She knew she couldn't stay in Nikki's embrace for long because it was almost the end of lunch and the bell would clang out and startle them. She knew she couldn't stay in Nikki's embrace for long, but damn, if she could she would have. She had felt utterly vulnerable in the staffroom whilst she could hear the people under her employment discussing personal things about her life so that everyone could hear. She never thought it would bother her so much, considering Barry Barry had already advertised the fact she was gay to the whole school, but it did. However much she disliked some of the members of staff, she did trust many of them and had to rely on them all to keep the school going. She hated the fact some had turned on her so easily, the only thing they'd been waiting for was ammunition. However much all these things hurt her, the thing that hurt the most was knowing that Nikki had been dealing with this for so much longer than she has. She'd been dealing with it since school and she seemed totally un-phased by it now. Deep down, Lorraine knew other things phased Nikki a lot more than she'd admit... so why would this be any different? Lorraine knew that as soon as she saw Michael next, he'd have yet more exaggerated information to use against the both of them and this time, she was going to set the record straight. This time she was going to tell him exactly where he stands.


	22. Chapter 22

**Oh look, I'm back. I have now finished pointlessly stressing out over my Welsh oral exam, so glad I've done that early out of the way. So yeah, here is another chapter. Mostly all just Lorraine's thoughts and stuff instead of plotty things. By the way, Tom will have to stick around in this fic because I'm not coping after last week's episode. Thanks for keeping reading. This chapter is probably shit. X**

* * *

Nikki had wanted Lorraine to stay with her, or at least let her go to her house to keep her company. Lorraine is stubborn, she told Nikki she wanted to be on her own and she was sticking to that, no matter how much protest Nikki put up.

Lorraine didn't know what she was doing and she couldn't cope with Nikki being there as she fell apart.

Lorraine could block out all the anxiousness, panic and confusion when she was alone with Nikki and that's pretty much what she'd been doing ever since they started seeing each other. When the picture of them together was plastered all over the walls of Waterloo Road by Barry Barry, she'd panicked at first but then calmed down. The reason she'd calmed down so promptly was because she'd been doing her best to avoid conversation with all the members of staff, if she could. She'd avoided talking to Sonya when they were alone in the office because she had no idea what she was going to say to her. Sonya was her sister, how was she going to explain to her why she didn't tell her about Nikki? Where would she even begin? Surely Sonya hadn't had any idea that her sister was interested in women before she saw that picture. Let's face it, Lorraine had barely allowed _herself _ to realise she was interested in women until Nikki. The only negativity she'd really experienced about the whole situation was from Michael and Christine... and Nikki had always been there to stick up for her and take her side when they made snide comments towards her. Tom and Nikki's jokey conversation about their relationship had made her feel more uncomfortable than she ever thought it would have. She couldn't tell Nikki that, it made her sound pathetic. It made her sound incredibly childish. She wasn't used to anyone caring about her enough to want to talk about her to other people, like Nikki had been doing earlier that day. What could she have said? She couldn't exactly stop them, they got on well with each other and were only having a laugh. Lorraine thought Nikki would have thought she was being completely pathetic if she'd told her their conversation made her uncomfortable. Lorraine's mind was in overdrive and the amount of information in her head was crippling. In her huge house, on her own, her footsteps echoed through the rooms. She wobbled a fraction in her high black stilettos as she walked towards her kitchen. The cool air chilled the thin layer of sweat on her brow, she didn't exactly deal with emotional stress all too well. Her eyes anxiously darted around her spacious kitchen, searching for a solution; searching for an answer to the hundreds of questions in her mind. Her heart was pounding against her ribs as she felt the blood surge through her body, causing her head to spin. She hated how all this was affecting her. She knew she'd be incredibly ashamed if anyone could see her now. She took a wine glass out of the cupboard and carefully placed it down on the work top; flinching as it clinked against the surface; and then she took a bottle of wine in her hand. The bottle was screw top and Lorraine had never been more thankful to see a screw top wine bottle before in her life. She didn't have the energy or the inclination to un-cork a bottle, even though she knew the wine would be nicer if she had done. She watched the translucent liquid as it cascaded into the glass, sloshing against the sides. She stared into the glass of pale white wine, knowing that when she took a sip it would soothe her nerves and possibly help her think straight... either that, or stop her thinking at all. She knew that the sweet and fresh combination would slide down her throat and quell the anxiety in the pit of her stomach, even if it was only for a moment. Taking the stem of the glass between her fingers, she noticed how her right hand was shaking. Her pale blue eyes reflected in the wine, the picture unclear, but clear enough to see the smudges of mascara around her eyes, blemishing her usually flawless skin. She refused to mull over her dishevelled appearance any longer, so lifted the glass of wine to her lips; it felt so cold. She downed the contents of the glass in one go, the soothing sensation was even more satisfying than she'd expected. She was caught between wanting to fill her glass again and drown her panicked thoughts, and wanting to sit and sort out everything in her mind. She knew that she needed to sort her head out, but where could she even start? She'd been ignoring her sexuality for so many years that she had a lot of emotional baggage to sort through, that was the only way any of her problems were going to get solved. She made a deal with herself that if she actually made an attempt to answer even a few of the questions in her mind, then she'd allow herself another glass of the wine in front of her... but until then, the lid was going back on the bottle and she was going upstairs to get changed.

* * *

She threw her clothes onto the floor, not caring how creased they got, after all, she knew she wasn't the one who was going to be washing or ironing them again. Sometimes she loved being able to afford a cleaner, a chauffeur and anyone else she felt like employing, but sometimes she hated it. She almost envied the people with the small flats, who do all their own washing and cooking and cleaning. She envied Nikki in more ways than one. She envied how comfortable she often seemed to be with her sexuality, she was willing to discuss it openly... whereas Lorraine could barely let herself think about it without becoming panicked. She'd been going out with Nikki for a good few weeks by now and that made all this worse. If it had been the very beginning of their relationship, Lorraine would have found it far easier to voice her anxieties than she would do now. The problem was that the ecstasy of kissing Nikki, flirting with her, sleeping with her and just generally spending time with her had overwhelmed the nerves she'd expected to feel. Now all of a sudden, the emotions she'd ignored over the previous weeks; months maybe; came crashing down on her like a tonne of bricks and she didn't know what to do. She carelessly tied her beautiful blonde hair up into a messy bun on top of he head, just wanting it off her face, not caring the slightest bit what it looked like. She wrapped a white flannel dressing down around her petite frame and tied the cord a fraction too tightly. She looked at the clock to the side of her; it had just gone 7pm. She sat down on her bed amongst the plush covers, cross-legged like a child. She knew she needed to sort her head out, but she was afraid. She was afraid to answer the questions she'd been avoiding asking herself for far too long. _**Fuck it. Get a grip, you've got to do this.**_ Lorraine psyched herself up as though she was going into battle... when all she was really doing was answering her own questions. That was basically the same thing for her though. _**Keep it simple. Just ask yourself direct questions. **_In her head, she was treating this as though it was like an interview or a pitch; keep it concise.

She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, pressing her palms against the bed sheet she was sat on and then let her questions begin. The first thing that came to mind was, _How many serious boyfriends have you ever had?_ and Lorraine could answer that easily, it was only really two or three when she actually though about it. Yes, she'd had multiple casual relationships when she was younger but they barely lasted days... let alone long enough to be considered her boyfriend. Next was, _Have you ever loved your boyfriends?_ and Lorraine had to stop and think about that for a moment. She had thought she loved them at the time, but she probably hadn't really. She loved them more like a best friend or like a brother; she hadn't known any better. Another question came to mind immediately, Lorraine was already frustrated with herself because nothing was in order in her mind. _Does Nikki make you happy?_ and she told herself that she did, without a second of hesitation. Her mind was in overdrive; throwing questions at her from left, right and centre. Another question she then found herself asking was, _Have the boys you've dated made you feel special?_ and she was practically cringing at the question. She paused for a moment, deliberating what she thought the answer to the question was. Guys had made her feel good, they made her smile, they'd treated her well and everything like that... so she thought yes. Then she thought about sex and she despised herself for thinking about it because it just felt so wrong, but it was aiding her in finding the answer to her question. She'd slept with quite a few guys and at the time she had thought they were pretty good, so yeah... guys had made her feel kind of special. Suddenly she found herself thinking about Nikki; she hadn't even tried to think about her. Nikki made her feel so special; she trusted her, she had an amazing amount of laughs with her, they supported each other and so much more. Then yet again she thought of sex and yet again she felt slightly seedy, but then she told herself it was necessary. Nikki was amazingly caring and Lorraine couldn't ignore that; she had felt so comfortable with her that night in the hotel, when she thought she'd have been a nervous wreck. Nikki could make Lorraine feel completely different to how any of her boyfriends had ever made her feel in the past. Even just a simple kiss off Nikki was sublime, it made Lorraine dizzy just thinking about it. Nikki just generally made her feel so special. Nikki definitely made her feel more special than any ex-boyfriend, and Lorraine felt far more comfortable in the company of Nikki than she had ever felt with any boyfriend. She asked herself so many more questions and she barely knew the answers to some, but then she asked herself a question that had played on her mind ever since she first realised she may have feelings for women; so long before Nikki. _Will your sexuality affect your business? _and the problem was, she had no idea. She knew that who you find attractive and who you choose to share a bed with at night shouldn't make a blind bit of difference to whether you're successful, but it's not as simple as that. She'd heard so many things whilst growing up, things about people loosing their jobs because they were gay. She'd heard that gay people weren't as well respected. As these thoughts were flying through her head, she fidgetted around on her bed, letting her eyes roam around the room as a distraction from her thoughts. She felt that her heartbeat was slightly slower than it had been just now, her blood didn't seem to be surging around her body so ferociously and she just generally felt slightly calmer. She thought about how successful she was so far in life; rolling in money, big house, flash car, multiple businesses and investments... the list went on. However, one thing on that list was that she was happy, and five years ago or even just a year ago... she couldn't really say she _was_ happy. She had tried desperately hard to convince herself that all her money could easily keep her happy, but she hadn't realised until she'd kissed Nikki that first time in Michael's office, she wasn't happy at all. She squeezed her eyelids shut, feeling her slightly damp lashes bat against her skin. She didn't realise that she even knew the things that she was now telling herself, she wished she'd told herself these things earlier. She had always put business first in her life, she had earned her first million by the age of 18... she hadn't really let herself have time for long term relationships ever since that. Now thinking about it, she had made excuses all her life to avoid commitment to anything but her work. Perhaps she'd avoided commitments because deep down she'd known from the start that the guy she was with wouldn't really make her happy. Even she didn't know whether that was true or not, but the more she mulled it over, the more she thought that it probably was. She now told herself that in 2013 it was extremely unlikely her sexuality would matter, if she was willing to invest in a project in the current economic climate, would the fact she had a girlfriend even matter to them? And most of all she told herself that it would be highly unlikely they'd even find out. Then she thought of Waterloo Road, why did so many of the staff members react so negatively? She was still paying their wages, she was still funding the school, she was still trying incredulously hard to keep as many of their jobs for them and keep as many subjects as possible... and the thanks she gets off everyone except Nikki is insulting comments. How was she ever going to get them back on side? _**Fuck it. I don't even need them to like me, I just need them to work for me! **_

Her mind seemed much clearer now, her thoughts far less frantic as she had answered some massive questions that had been playing on her mind. She felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She decided she deserved a second glass of wine now, so she got up off her bed and went back downstairs and into her kitchen. As she poured her wine, she noticed that her hand was steady now and it felt so good. She picked her phone up off the worktop where she'd left it, picked the wine glass up in the other hand and went and sat on her sofa. She took a single sip of the translucent liquid and then carefully placed it onto the wooden flooring. She unlocked her phone and saw that there was a message from Nikki on the screen, she quickly typed out a reply; apologising for earlier and saying that she was going to have an early night and that she'd see her in the morning. She felt content that she'd be far less nervous to face the staff the next day and she knew she'd sleep well that night.

* * *

It was gone half 8 by now and it had begun to go slightly darker, but Nikki didn't let that put her off going for a jog. She had been stressed all day and she just needed to do something to wind down now that she'd finished all her marking and planning. She didn't jog all that far that evening, she didn't want to be out when it got completely dark. After jogging for about half an hour she headed back to her flat, taking in the scenery of Greenock before she turned into her area which could be almost any collection of flats, anywhere in the UK. Her chestnut hair tucked carelessly behind her ears as she wiped beads of sweat from her brow. As she got to her flat, she noticed someone stood there; nonchalantly leaning against the locked door. She couldn't see their face but she continued to walk towards them. Her brow furrowed, crinkled frown lines forming on her forehead as she tried to make out a face amongst the shadows. As the light cast enough of a glow onto the mystery person's face, Nikki stopped dead in her tracks. At first she knew she recognised the male figure who was stood before her, but couldn't place who it was... after a moment or so of studying his face she began to realise she knew exactly who they were. She swallowed hard. Her eyes suddenly burning with tears as she blinked incessantly, there was no chance she was going to cry now. Her insides churning, a dull ache returned to the pit of her stomach and the sweat on her skin dried scarily cold. She swallowed again, about to speak, no idea what the words that left her lips would be. She looked towards her doorway again and made an attempt to speak. She was cut of by the man's harsh-sounding northern accent. The tone of his voice made Nikki's throat go incredibly dry, she knew she wouldn't be able to speak now; even if she'd wanted to.

The man spoke. "Long time no see, eh?"


	23. Chapter 23

**Right, here's another chapter that I've just rambled on and on in. It's pretty much all about Nikki because I wanted to give her a back story but I really don't know how I feel about it. If you can, please leave a review because I'm really unsure of this chapter. I've tried not to make it too far-fetched but I don't know. *** Mention of self harm and it's got violence in it. *** There will be Lorikki stuff next chapter, I promise. Thank you for still reading even though I don't know why you do. X**

* * *

Her limbs felt completely numb, her hands shaking as she folded her muscular arms across her chest defensively.

"How you keeping then Nicola?" the man's voice mumbled, his hoodie zipped right up to his chin.

"Nobody calls me that anymore. What the fuck are you doing here anyway?" Nikki spat back, her defences kicking in unconsciously, she immediately wished she hadn't been so brash.

"Well isn't that a nice welcome for your _big brother_?" the man responded, raising his eyebrows mockingly.

"Jason, you're no such thing. You don't deserve to be called that! You never did!" Nikki replied automatically, not caring about the man in front of her, not the slightest bit.

"Nicola, I've changed. I've done my time in prison now. Isn't that punishment enough?" Jason replied, making an attempt to soften his tone. Nikki had no idea whether he was genuinely meaning what he said but she had her doubts.

"Jason, what are you doing here?" Nikki repeated, her voice not quite as sharp now. She was giving him a chance to explain himself.

"I need somewhere to stay, Nicola." Jason responded, his blue eyes darting around in the dusky shadows. His eyes were darker than Nikki's; almost violet coloured.

"Nobody calls me Nicola anymore, nobody has called me Nicola since I was fourteen, Jason. Nobody except you lot." Nikki retorted, her eyes scanning his appearance as she did so. He was making no attempt to call her Nikki and that was proof enough for her that he hadn't really changed.

"That's your name though... isn't it? Your name is Nicola, what's so wrong with that?" Jason questioned her, his tone of voice made her skin crawl. She felt her stomach twist with anxiety.

"My name is Nikki. Nicola makes me sound... it just doesn't sound right. Anyway, _you_ made me hate my name." Nikki replied, feeling incredibly vulnerable as her voice wavered slightly. She was now un-zipping the pocket of her hoodie to remove her flat key. Jason mumbled something inaudible, his words stolen by the wind... words Nikki was relatively grateful that she hadn't heard.

"You fancy inviting me in?" Jason asked, persuasively.

"No, not really. I haven't seen you since I was seventeen years old Jason, I'm not inviting you into my flat." Nikki informed him as she stepped inside, keeping hold of the door handle.

"That's not fair, you can't leave me out here. I've got nowhere to go. I'm family, you can't leave me on the street." Jason responded, his voice laced with emotion... Nikki felt a momentary pang of guilt and then it passed.

"You would have been willing to do that Jase, you wouldn't have cared if I'd ended up on the streets back then." Nikki replied, feigning carelessness as her eyes burned with childish tears.

"I'm different now, please, just let me come in?" Jason practically begging, Nikki becoming more convinced he was being genuine, by now.

"How did you even find out where I live?" Nikki suddenly asked, having not previously thought about this fact.

"Friend of a friend, y'know how it is." Jason replied, his nose crumpled slightly as he spoke. Nikki didn't know whether to trust him now, she felt utterly uncomfortable again and began to shut the door.

It wouldn't shut any further.

She looked down and saw Jason's dirty Nike high-top trainer shoved between the door and the frame.

"Like that is it?" Jason practically hissed as he pushed against the door.

"What happened to being different, Jason? You're just the same." Nikki breathed, attempting to hide the nerves in her voice because it would only rile him.

"Let me in then... how about that?" Jason replied, his tone sarcastic.

"I don't want you anywhere near me Jase, just go and book yourself into a hotel or something." Nikki instructed, blinking repeatedly to prevent her tears from falling.

"I'd much rather stay with my little sister, you can show me the sights tomorrow." Jason smiled, his tone softer again now... his temperament changed on the flip of a coin.

"For fuck sake Jason, one night... just one. Sleep on the sofa and then you're out tomorrow before I leave for work." Nikki answered, she barely registered that she was saying the words.

"Ahhh... that's what I like to hear, sis." Jason praised condescendingly as he bustled his way in through the door.

* * *

Nikki was stood in the door of her bedroom, as Jason threw his small but overflowing bag onto the floor near the sofa. Nikki reached out and picked up her phone off the cupboard where she'd accidentally left it when she'd gone for her jog. She unlocked it with shaking hands, her palms clammy as she glanced over to Jason every few seconds. She read the message Lorraine had sent her earlier that evening and smiled, her fingers unconsciously tapping out a reply. She let herself smile at her phone for a moment, unaware that Jason was now looking at her, eagle-eyed.

"Who was that?" Jason asked inquisitively, leaning over the back of her leather sofa.

"Stop destroying my furniture with your damn body weight!" She scolded, making the concious decision to avoid answering his question. She pressed the send button on her message to Lorraine, even though the beautiful blonde probably wouldn't read it until the morning.

"I said, who was that?" Jason repeated, louder this time, in case Nikki hadn't heard him the first time.

"Since when was this your business? ... Oh yeah, it's _not_!" Nikki responded boldly, swallowing the nerves in her voice.

"You're my little sister, of course it's my business." Jason smiled warmly, but it made Nikki shudder. She could see right through that smile and she knew he hadn't changed at all.

"Jason, I haven't seen you for 20 years. Nothing I do is your business anymore!" Nikki snapped, she was already regretting letting Jason stay; even just for the one night.

"Why won't you tell me who it is though?" Jason asked, his voice laced with a fierce anger that he was attempting to hide.

"It's just someone from work." Nikki replied dismissively, trying not to meet Jason's gaze.

"You still can't lie, you never could... could you?" Jason tormented, getting up off the sofa in a swift movement.

_**I'm not lying. I'm not. She is someone from work. God dammit Jason!**_

"You're with someone you work with, aren't you?" Jason spat, slowly walking towards her; his trainers squeaking on the laminate floor. Nikki didn't answer, she knew that he would be able to tell that she was lying, her mouth was dry and her stomach in a thousand anxious knots.

"Why are you so unwilling to tell me, Nicola?" Jason probed, his tone a combination of anger and sarcasm, in an attempt to intimidate his sister. He purposely called her Nicola just to show her that he had the power and didn't care what she said. Hearing him say it made her heart pound against her ribs; her bones suddenly feeling as brittle and fragile as crystal, she thought they were going to break. He had stepped closer to her now, his charcoal-grey hoodie still zipped up to his chin. His face covered with a thick stubble, unshaven for several days. He was practically the same height as Nikki, after all, she is fairly tall for a woman. His eyes searched over the woman's features, sensing the nervousness glistening in her sapphire eyes.

"It's none of your fucking business Jason, nothing to do with me is your business." Nikki snapped, unable to contain her anger now; it was the only thing hiding her nerves.

"Give that here!" Jason commanded, assuming Nikki wouldn't give him her phone voluntarily, he reached out and grabbed it from her. She hadn't locked it and he looked at the screen, all he needed was to see the affectionate language she had used, to know that Lorraine wasn't _just_ a colleague.

"You're fucking her, aren't you?" Jason retorted, as Nikki grabbed her phone out of his hands and shoved it safely away in her pocket. Nikki swallowed hard, dulling the burning in the pit of her stomach and giving her the courage or foolishness to bite back.

"No, I'm not _fucking_ her. She's my girlfriend!" Nikki informed him, her voice not wavering the slightest bit.

"Still a dirty dyke then, are you?" Jason inquired, his voice causing Nikki's hairs to stick up on end. His breath could now be felt on the woman's cheek, he was too close and Nikki began to panic.

"I don't pick and choose when I'm interested in women, Jason. You're not so un-intelligent that you don't realise that." Nikki replied, a heaviness to her tone; a tinge of regret lacing her voice.

"It's disgusting." He remarked, looking directly at Nikki so she couldn't get away.

"You're disgusting. I'm not the one who spent 15 years on and off in prison for armed robbery, GBH, ABH and whatever the fuck else." Nikki quipped, still feigning carelessness. Her blood seemed to run cold as the expression on Jason's face altered drastically.

"At least I'm normal, unlike you." Jason smirked.

"Fuck off Jason, you're under _my_ roof. You don't get to speak to me like dirt." Nikki informed him, her voice cracking as she prepared herself for his response. She had expected all sorts of responses, she'd been prepared for his backlash but she hadn't considered preparing herself for what he did. He shoved her against the wall forcefully. His grip too tight around her wrist.

"Jason, get the fuck off me. Fuck off. Fuck off!" Nikki attempted to shout but her voice came out slightly squeaky. She tried to push him away, she was strong, much stronger than she'd been before... but Jason was aswell.

"And _you _don't get to speak to _me _like that!" Jason yelled, his breath smelt strongly of cheap cigarettes. Nikki tried to wriggle out from against the wall. Jason raised his hand and clenched his fist, Nikki didn't really see what was going on. She didn't realise what happened until she felt the searing pain near her left eye. The impact of Jason's fist on Nikki's cheek was a blur. Nikki's eyes filled with tears and her head was spinning. She swallowed hard trying to wet her throat, trying to speak.

"Fuck you Jason!" Nikki shouted, her voice laden with tears that she was no longer able to contain. Nikki pushed Jason away from her, using all of her strength to get his body weight off her. Jason fell backwards and Nikki bustled her way past him, making her way into her bedroom. Jason tried to follow her but she slammed the door, just skimming his nose, causing him to blink in shock.

"I'll just settle down on your sofa then." Jason informed her, his voice laced with a sarcastic tone.

"Fuck you Jason," Nikki repeated quietly, unable to stop her voice cracking with emotion, "I don't give a shit anymore!"

Nikki slid the lock across on her door, her hands shaking. She could feel the damp tears rolling down her cheeks, a stinging sensation lingering near her eye. She touched a finger to her cheek where Jason had hit her, it felt damp. She looked at her hand through her tear-glazed eyes and there was a small amount of blood transferred onto it. _**Fuck you Jason, I thought I was away from all this. **_Nikki sat down on her bed with her head in her hands; her fingers entwined with her hair. Her body felt lifeless and her chest felt painfully tight. There was a fresh bottle of water on the cupboard in front of her, so she leaned forwards and grabbed it in her right hand. In her left, she grabbed a tissue. The cut on her cheek was only small but she needed to stop it bleeding, she just wanted to go to sleep. She wet the tissue using the bottled water and wiped the blood away carefully, not really caring about how much it was hurting her. She regretted letting Jason into the flat more than anything else she'd done in an extremely long time.

* * *

Jason was only two years older than her but he'd been the worst thing in her life ever since she can remember. At first it was only the usual things that make brothers and sisters hate each other; things like one getting a better present at Christmas or whatever else. As they got older Jason began to get on the wrong side of the law and it scared Nikki, she was 14 at the time and she tried to tell him that he needed to get his life in order and that he couldn't keep stealing. That was when Nikki realised how angry Jason could get, he shouted at her louder than she ever thought he would dare. She thought that was as bad as it could get, she refrained from trying to set him on a better path from that day on; she refrained from speaking to him as much as possible. When she was 15 she told her parents that she was gay and that didn't exactly go to plan, they just seemed rather indifferent to her revelation. She thought they hated her. Lets face it, she thought everyone hated her. The thing was, her parents didn't hate her... they just didn't understand. They were shocked. They needed to let it sink in, they hadn't had years to get it sorted out in their heads like Nikki had, they'd been planning out her life in their heads and her sexuality changed things; even though it shouldn't have really made that much of a difference. Nikki just wanted support that she couldn't ask for anywhere other than at home because she was ashamed that she was gay. She didn't know what to do. Jason found her crying in her bedroom that evening, once he got in from whatever crime he'd probably been committing. He asked her what was wrong and because she wasn't thinking clearly she just blurted everything out through the tears. She didn't know how he would react to her sexuality and she wasn't even sure she cared anymore. Nobody else had been supportive so why would he? She was right. He hit her and told her not to make a sound. He called her things and then left her to cry in her room, alone. That was just the beginning and it only got worse. Her parents hadn't really spoken about her sexuality, but everything between them felt slightly less awkward, she felt that they had started to understand that being gay didn't change her. Most of her friends were okay about it too, some more than others of course. All of this made her much more hopeful that things were getting better... but then she had Jason looming over her life like a deathly shadow. She hadn't told anyone about what Jason did to her, he told her she couldn't. She was petrified of him. She had started self harming not long after she turned 15, and Jason just made everything worse. She did it where nobody would see, she couldn't bear people knowing and thinking she was weak. By the time Jason got arrested and sent to prison for his multiple offences, Nikki was 17. Just before her 18th birthday she decided she was going to join the army, just to go against everything her parents expected of her. She had tried her hardest to stop taking away her pain with a blade almost as soon as Jason was out of her life and she succeeded. Her time in the army messed with her head and she very occasionally took the stress out on herself, but she felt far less dependant on a blade, she felt so content that she could resist the urges to harm. She was so glad she was away from Jason. Nikki's army days altered her in more ways than one, but that's a whole other story.

* * *

Now she was sat on her bed, in her flat, her body shaking and her eyes glazed with tears, Nikki sobbed into her pillow so Jason wouldn't hear. Her wrist was aching and her cheek stinging. She needed Lorraine, she needed a hug off the gorgeous blonde. Being in Lorraine's embrace would take all of the problems away for a while, just the sound of her heartbeat would calm her down existentially. She couldn't text or ring Lorraine, she was probably already fast asleep by then. She couldn't tell Lorraine what happened. She couldn't bear telling Lorraine all about Jason. She was ashamed that she'd let him hurt her again, she should be strong enough to fight him off. She threw her running clothes onto the floor, checked that the door was still locked and jumped back onto her bed. She was only wearing her underwear and she felt exposed and vulnerable knowing that Jason was in the house, so she pulled the duvet over her body and it felt comforting to feel it touch her skin. She cried into her pillow as a way to stop the thoughts in her mind; she was thinking of how comforting a blade would be to her right now. She refused to let herself do that, she wanted to get over it more than anything. She knew hurting herself would hurt Lorraine too and she couldn't bear to hurt the woman she loved. She needed Lorraine beside her now more than she thought she'd ever need someone. Her body racked with sobs and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut as she thought about tomorrow. She silently hoped that she wouldn't wake up looking a mess in the morning but she knew that the chances of having a black eye were looking very high. She sighed as she set her alarm for 6am, she knew that she needed to have a shower in the morning before Lorraine picked her up. Turning over so that the duvet twisted around her body and she felt slightly safer, she just wished Lorraine was there with her to keep her company. She wished Lorraine was always with her because when they were together everything was easier to cope with.


	24. Chapter 24

**I may or may not take a short break from this fic because I'm sort of finding it hard to know what to write because i've got a few other pairings that I have ideas for so I get easily distracted, and basically I don't want this one to turn to shit because of that. (I also have way too many tv series I want to watch so my pairings will get confused in my head) I've written half of this when I was barely awake so I don't think any of it makes any sense. Review if you want... or don't if you'd rather not. Y'know how it is. X**

* * *

Her eyes burned with the residual tears of last night; crying into her plush pillow until she fell asleep. She had tossed and turned constantly throughout the night, resulting in her hair now being matted beyond belief. She ran the slender fingers of her right hand through the mass of knots and tangles; her palm colliding with her sweat-drenched forehead. She groaned as she rolled on to her side, knowing that she had to get up and get her self sorted before Jason woke up. Her legs felt incredibly weak as she planted her bare feet down on to the cold laminate flooring.

_**Right, you might feel better after you've had a shower.**_

Nikki told herself the same thing at least five times before she could muster the courage to get herself out of bed. She grabbed a warm towel off the radiator in her bedroom as she tentatively began to open her door. She was still only wearing her bra and women's boxer shorts, she had absolutely no inclination to put pyjamas on to walk just a few steps in to the bathroom. She felt horribly exposed knowing that Jason was asleep on the sofa just a few paces away and that he could wake up any moment. The only thing that calmed her nerves was knowing that he would almost certainly still be asleep. As she got into the bathroom and slid the lock across, she breathed a sigh of relief that Jason was still very much sedate on her sofa. She reached her left hand up the brush a stray strand of hair out of her face when she suddenly felt an agonising pain in her wrist. It was a combination of burning and dreadful pain. Her whole body convulsed due to the sheer pain of trying to move her wrist side-to-side. Her eyes flickered down to her hand and she noticed the blue bruising that covered her wrist where Jason's strong hands had grabbed her. The she closed her eyes for a fraction of a second to avoid looking at herself in the full length mirror behind the door, but then she realised she would have to look some time soon so she might as well get it over and done with. As she looked into the mirror before her, her eyes immediately filled with hot tears as she saw her face. Her right hand automatically reached up and touched her cheek, which caused a searing pain to shoot through her nerves. Her left eye was encircled by a pink and grey bruise, the cut that had been bleeding the night before was barely visible now which was really the only positive thing she could find about that morning so far. She had no idea what she was going to do about her black eye, but even worse, she had absolutely no idea how she was going to explain it to Lorraine. She didn't want to lie to the gorgeous blonde because she trusted her so much more than she trusted anybody else, but she didn't know where she'd even start if she told her the truth.

_**Get a fucking grip, just get in the shower and get on with it. **_

Nikki checked again that the door was securely locked, feeling slightly paranoid that she had to do this in her own flat. Once she was sure Jason wouldn't be able to rudely interrupt her, she carefully slid her legs out of her boxers and un-clasped her bra with one hand. She looked at herself in the mirror for a moment and then turned around and stepped into the shower and pulled the curtain around.

* * *

It was almost half past 7 now and Nikki was only just getting dressed, she knew she'd spent too long in the shower but she'd felt so safe locked in her little bathroom. She pulled a pair of pale grey trousers on quickly whilst deciding what to wear on her top half. She pulled a subdued lilac shirt on over her muscular arms, feeling a twinge of pain in her wrist but ignoring it because she knew she had no choice. She carefully did up the buttons, leaving the top two undone and then shoved her feet in to her shoes that she almost always wore to work; practical and comfortable. She roughly tugged a grey blazer on over her shirt for no other reason than to cover up the bruising on her wrist. She looked in her mirror, her heart racing as she saw the bruise on her face for the second time.

_**How the fuck am I supposed to hide this? I don't even own foundation. Fuck sake!** _

Nikki's eyes were stinging with tears all over again, Lorraine would be outside in about fifteen minutes and would obviously ask her what had happened... and on top of that she had the arduous task of convincing Jason to leave. Running her fingers through her hair, she eased the bedroom door open and took a deep breath as she falsely persuaded herself that Jason wouldn't hurt her again.

"Jason, you're going to have to get up and get out now. I said one night, that was all." Nikki called from her bedroom doorway, keeping her tone neutral and avoiding expressing any emotion at all.

"Shut the fuck up sis, you ain't gonna to chuck me out if I ain't got nowhere to go." Jason mumbled, still half asleep.

"Jason, was any of that even in English? Anyway, you're not staying here any longer." Nikki responded, it was taking all of her self-control to stop herself from shouting at him.

"You can't comment on how I talk, shut up. I ain't going nowhere any time soon right. Got that?" Jason protested, standing up from the sofa which caused Nikki's heart to pound with nerves.

"I'm a fucking English teacher Jason, I think you'll find I can comment on it. Also, my flat... my rules. _You_ can't tell me what to do!" Nikki retorted, allowing a hint of anger to be conveyed in her voice as she tugged on her blazer sleeves to protect her wrists. Jason was now face to face with Nikki again with fury in his eyes.

"You're an English teacher? Oh haven't you gone down in the world, what happened to you being all badass and being in the army?" Jason taunted, reaching his hand up and poking her in the chest.

"I was a captain Jason, I've done my tours and then I decided to do what I'd always wanted to... don't belittle my job, at least I've _got_ one!" Nikki snapped, trying to move out of the way of Jason's hand near her collar bones.

"Whatever sis, I don't really care. Being a teacher ain't all that special." Jason hissed through seething teeth, leaning in closer to Nikki's face. Her breathing quickened as she tried desperately hard not to retaliate, she knew she wouldn't be able to resist.

"Will you just keep your mouth shut and get the fuck out of my flat before my friend gets here to take me to work?" Nikki spat, her voice cracking as Jason edged a fraction closer.

"Friend my arse sis. It's obviously the one you're fucking. Don't try and deny it because it's blindingly obvious!" Jason chastised, grabbing hold of Nikki's left wrist in frustration. She tried to swallow the pain she was in but Jason could see it all over her face.

"Yeah Jase, yeah. If you want me to say it, I'll just say it again. Lorraine is my girlfriend and she's so different to anyone I've dated before." Nikki replied, immediately wishing that she hadn't said anything. She tensed up as she tried to stop her eyes from tearing up and Jason grasped her wrist even tighter.

"Yeah, she's different because she's a dyke! Why would you want to date a woman anyway?" Jason asked, seeming somewhat genuine but he was scaring Nikki now.

"Why do you want to date a woman? Don't know do you? No, that's because it's normal to you, same as dating a woman is normal to me too!" Nikki retaliated, feeling quite proud of herself for how she'd coped. Jason pontificated as he tried to find something to respond with.

"Thank you very much, I think my point is proved," Nikki flounced as she bit her tongue and twisted her wrist out of her brother's grasp, "I'm going now and you're going too!"

"I'm not going anywhere, just let me stay for the day and we'll sort something out later." Jason asked, his tone persuasive but calmer now.

"Right, I've got more important things on my mind right now so I'm not going to argue with you. If you cause any trouble I will not hesitate to kick you out immediately." Nikki responded, unsure whether her agreement with her brother was a wise one.

"Okay then, thanks." Jason answered kindly, walking back to the sofa and throwing himself down on to it.

* * *

"Who's that?" Lorraine asked, as Nikki sat down in the expensive Italian leather seats of the Ferrari.

"Oh, it's nobody important. Just someone from down in Manchester." Nikki anxiously replied, turning her face away from Lorraine and pulling down her sleeves. Her phone slipped out of her hand and she leaned down to pick it up off the floor.

"Long as you're sure Nik, I don't mind you telling me tales of who he is if you want to." Lorraine suggested kindly, her gorgeous voice making Nikki's stomach fill with imaginary butterflies.

"Nah, it's nothing. Have you got any foundation I can borrow?" Nikki asked quietly, biting her lip and she avoided turning to face the woman.

"Yeah, it's probably in my handbag. Why do you want foundation?" Lorraine questioned her, her voice laced with confusion. However well Lorraine could drive her Ferrari, she couldn't concentrate on conversation and on the road so she pulled in to the nearest parking space she could.

"Oh... I... I hit my face on a cupboard door last night." Nikki carefully replied, hoping her tone sounded natural as she restrained herself from turning to face Lorraine.

"Let me have a look?" Lorraine requested, reaching a slim hand up to Nikki's chin to turn her head in her direction. Nikki wanted to turn away so Lorraine wouldn't see the bruise but she couldn't bear not looking at her any longer.

"Nikki, I know what hitting your face on a cupboard door does... and it doesn't do that." Lorraine informed the woman opposite her, her face laced with concern.

"Well it clearly did Lorraine." Nikki protested unsuccessfully, knowing her tone of voice would do nothing to convince Lorraine. She was too clever.

"What happened babe? You can trust me with anything, please let me help you." Lorraine pleaded as she touched Nikki's cheek so gently it felt like a feather brushing against her painful skin.

"Darling, I don't know where to start. We haven't got enough time." Nikki sighed, not knowing what to say or whether she even wanted to tell her.

"We've got as much time as we need to have." Lorraine breathed as she reached into the door to see if her tube of liquid foundation was in there. She felt the bottle in her hand and took it out as she looked back to Nikki.

"Right, I'll give you the short version. The guy is my asshole brother who's just got out of prison for more offences that I can be bothered to tell you," Nikki paused, blinking back tears, "We've never exactly seen eye-to-eye and he turned up at my door yesterday and well... we didn't agree on some things..." her voice wavered as she felt a hot tear creep down her cheek, "His fist and a cupboard door do about as much damage as each other."

"Did he do anything else?" Lorraine asked her apprehensively. Nikki pulled her blazer sleeve up like an embarrassed child to uncover her wrist and showed the bruising to Lorraine. The blonde leaned forward over the central panel and wrapped her arms around Nikki's toned frame. Nikki let out a quiet sigh as she soaked up Lorraine's contact, feeling completely safe in the woman's embrace.

"I want to kiss you more than anything else right now, but if I start to kiss you now I won't be able to stop." Nikki breathed against Lorraine's gorgeous blonde curls, feeling her own heart beating affectionately against her ribs.

"Nikki, I'm sorry he hurt you. He shouldn't be staying in your flat. He's just going to make your life hell." Lorraine whispered in response as she tried to resist the almost overwhelming urge to kiss Nikki.

"I know, I know! He won't leave though... I'll let him stay today and then try and sort something by tonight." Nikki sighed, not knowing what that something would be; she had no ideas.

"You can come and stay at mine if you want, I might be kinda busy..." Lorraine began with a smile, "There's meetings and all the usual shit, and Michael's got me doing a mountain of paperwork-"

"Miss Donnegan is doing paperwork, shit, what is the world coming to?" Nikki smirked, feeling a warmth in her stomach; Lorraine made her mood change with ease.

"What you're mouth you, I'm still _your_ boss aswell as everyone else's. If you're complaining about me having paperwork, by all means you can help me with it." Lorraine replied, feigning authority; struggling not to burst out laughing.

"Are you my boss now? You know how it is, I wouldn't want to behave inappropriately!" Nikki breathed, a twinkle in her eyes as her lips turned up at the corners and fraction.

"No, I don't think I'm your boss at the moment... however if we linger in this random street much longer it'll be time for the school day to start." Lorraine giggled, rubbing her hand against Nikki's shoulder, reassuringly.

"Just let me..." Nikki began to whisper until their lips collided; hot blood flowing through them in anticipation. Lorraine's tasted of coffee as Nikki ran her tongue carefully along the bottom lip.

"Is there ever a morning you don't have coffee?" Nikki breathed against the blonde's lips.

"I'm not cut out for early mornings, I'm used to a life of luxury... of course I have coffee every morning." Lorraine informed Nikki lightheartedly, reaching her hand over and touching Nikki's waist. Nikki let out an appreciative sigh, then proceeded to passionately kiss Lorraine's perfect lips.

"Nik, we're seriously going to have to stop." Lorraine laughed, attempting to convince herself as she pulled away from Nikki's lips and gently ran her finger's through the woman's chestnut locks.

"Damn, why do we have to do a job that starts early?" Nikki groaned, but smiled as Lorraine tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"We're idiots, that's why," Lorraine stated, "Nik, are you going to let me sort your bruise out?" Nikki couldn't bring herself to answer so just nodded obediently. Lorraine squeezed a small amount of the foundation on to her finger and then leaned forwards to Nikki again.

"I'll be gentle, I promise." Lorraine assured Nikki. The words were meant totally innocently, but Nikki couldn't help allow a slight smirk to dance across her lips.

"You're good at being gentle." Nikki replied provocatively.

"Please stop flirting with me Nik because we've got at least 6 hours before we can leave work and there's only so long I can resist your provocation." Lorraine protested, catching her lip between her teeth unconsciously.

"Fine, I'll try my hardest," Nikki informed her, "And thanks for this." she finished, gesturing to her eye.

"Least I can do darling, can't have you looking like you've been in the ring with Mike Tyson." Lorraine smirked as she dabbed foundation over the bruise around Nikki's eye, pleasantly surprised at how well it covered it.

"I'd have probably got off better if I _had _been, at least I'd have been expecting the punches then." Nikki whispered as she turned away from Lorraine.

"Kick him out of your flat before I kick him out for you!" Lorraine announced matter-of-factly.

"Oh Lorraine, what would I do with out you? The things you say are always so sensitive." Nikki giggled, not being able to resist burying her how truly grateful she was that Lorraine always knew what to say.

"Shut up you soppy idiot, we need to get to Waterloo Road. By the way, your bruise is barely noticeable now." Lorraine responded in various tones, touching a slim finger to Nikki's prominent cheekbone. Nikki looked in the car mirror and smiled.

"See, I knew you'd be able to sort it. If I'd tried to do it myself I'd have looked like the Phantom of the Opera." Nikki laughed, yet again resisting the urge to start kissing Lorraine all over again.

"Don't knock the Phantom. Now we seriously need to go before Michael has more fuel to add to his fire, I'm not in the mood for his bullshit." Lorraine mumbled, just loud enough for Nikki to understand.

"Don't say too many negative things about him to me, surely by now it's time for you to be my boss?" Nikki questioned, partially joking and partially being completely serious.

"Spoil sport, however you are right. How the fuck is it already 8:15am?" Lorraine spat as she restarted the Ferrari's ignition with haste.

"They do say time flies when you're having fun." Nikki laughed again, Lorraine didn't see her smile because her eyes were already fixed on the road. Deep down Nikki still felt awful and ashamed, she was dreading having to face Jason later that day but for the time being Lorraine was helping her feel a lot better about the situation.


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry it's been ages but I'm just finding it really difficult to find the inspiration for this fic. I'll definitely write two or three more chapters but i really can't promise anything after that. This chapter is incredibly shit and it's soppy and hideously fluffy. I don't even care, if you think it's shit... By all means think that. So yeah, have another chapter. X**

* * *

"D'you know what, Michael? One day I'm going to walk in to this office and you're just going to greet me... or even better, just stay bloody silent." Lorraine informed him sharply, leaning against the door frame with astounding casualness. Her blonde curls were neatly tumbling around her face, sitting gracefully against the pale blue fabric of her blazer. Nikki was stood out of Michael's view, trying to make polite conversation with Sonya. Nikki's sapphire eyes slowly traced Lorraine's figure, enhanced by an incredibly tight dress, jet black in colour. Lorraine's legs with their perfectly pale skin looked far longer than they truly were, due to the towering Prada heels she was wearing. Nikki wondered for a moment if the soles of Prada shoes were always red, if they were she didn't see the point, but after all she doesn't really _do_ fashion. More importantly, Nikki made several feeble attempts to make her gaze more neutral. The woman was practically undressing the blonde with her eyes, it was the only thing that was going to stop her breaking down... the hope that she could have Lorraine all to herself after work. She cringed slightly at the way in which her mind was working that day... but she wasn't really complaining. Sonya was rabbiting on about something entirely trivial... at some point Nikki thought she heard the tail end of a rant about what the humid weather was doing to her hair, she responded with occasional nods at what she assumed to be appropriate times. Nikki looked back over to the door of Michael's office where Lorraine had been stood, she was still there leaning against the frame. Her weight was shifted more evenly now as she expressed her displeasure about something Michael had said. Michael turned away from Lorraine, a look of defeat on his face. _**That's my girl, you tell him Lorraine! **_A slight smile danced across Nikki's lips.

"You 'aven't listened to a word I've been saying 'ave you?" Sonya stated loudly. Nikki's cheeks flushed slightly as she turned back to face Sonya, cautiously.

"I... Um... I..." Nikki stammered, yet again making a fool of herself as she attempted to regain composure.

"Just me waffling on anyways, you've got better things on your mind. My sister being one of 'em." Sonya responded slightly quieter now, her jokey tone seemed tinged with disappointment... or maybe Nikki had just imagined that.

"Well... I... I..." Nikki mumbled again, like a guilty teenager pulled up in front of the head teacher. _**Get a hold of yourself, it's only Sonya for God sake!**_

"You're always thinking 'bout her at the moment, aren't you?" Sonya asked carefully, fiddling with a pile of jumbled papers on her desk.

"Well... she is my girlfriend, so..." Nikki began to say, trailing of as she noticed a strange look in Sonya's eyes, "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah... fine. I'm glad you make her happy Miss Boston..." Sonya began to hurriedly inform Nikki.

"Please, don't call me Miss Boston... It's just too professional." Nikki interrupted with a forced laugh. Sonya continued immediately.

"She thinks I don't realise, y'know, she thinks I didn't notice how she crashed from one forgotten relationship to another... she's never said anythin' about nothing to me." Sonya babbled, Nikki having to stay fully alert to catch the mish-mash of sentences that the woman rattled off.

"She trusts you though Sonya... she just..." Nikki said in an attempt to make Sonya feel slightly less worthless that she was currently portraying herself as.

"She doesn't truly trust anyone... Nikki. Just you. She hasn't said nothing to me 'bout you but I've never seen her so happy since we were kids." Sonya informed Nikki a tad too loudly, but with an awkward glance around, was glad to discover Lorraine hadn't heard.

"Any idea why she hasn't talked to you about any of this?" Nikki asked, almost timidly. She felt almost as though she was doing something terrible by talking about Lorraine to Sonya.

"She don't talk to no-one about stuff like that, she don't know how to. So if she's opened up to you, feel bloody privileged because she trusts you more than her own family!" Sonya spat the last few words more spitefully than either woman had really been expecting, yet another awkward glance around assured the women that Lorraine was still pressing Michael about something.

"Sonya," Nikki began tentatively, feeling as though she should compliment the woman or at least comfort her in some way or other, "from what I can tell... she keeps stuff from you to protect you. She doesn't want you to have to deal with her emotional shit... you know what she's like..."

"Yeah, she's a pain in the arse. She's my sister though... I wanna talk to her about that sort of stuff... I talk crap at her all the time." Sonya sighed, rolling her eyes.

"Talk to her then, she'll listen. I promise. If she refuses, I'll make sure she has to do all her paperwork herself for two weeks and we can both imagine what would happen then." Nikki laughed a tad too loudly, causing Sonya to stifle a giggle; smudging her bright pink lipstick slightly. Nikki shook her head at Sonya but a smile still sat firmly on her lips.

"What are you two giggling about?" came a sudden familiar accent. Lorraine was stood right behind Nikki.

"Oh, nothing. Sonya just... wants a word with-" Nikki began, being cut off sharply by Lorraine.

"Not now Sonya." the blonde retorted. Nikki and Sonya exchanged a look of amusement.

"I just want you to know, I'm 'ere if you wanna talk about anything. Please, I'm your sister, Lo... you can trust me." Sonya practically pleaded with her stubborn sister.

"I don't need bloody... tea and sympathy and a lecture off you Sonya." Lorraine whispered through seething teeth, waving a hand dismissively. Nikki and Sonya exchanged the same look again, however Sonya's eyes were glazed slightly with tears.

"I'm not gonna lecture you sis, I don't know what I'm talking about... I just wanna catch up." Sonya struggled to keep the tears at bay as she tried to persuade her sister.

"I don't have time to _catch up._ Forget it. I just don't have time." Lorraine protested, a genuine hint of anger in her voice; her arm movement enhancing her words.

"You're going to have even less spare time now." Nikki announced, swallowing her laughter as she struggled to remain serious.

* * *

"I can't believe you two. You're like fucking... like... How am I going to have time to sort all my own paperwork?" Lorraine gabbled as the two women sat in the comfortable Ferrari on the drive to Nikki's flat at the end of the day.

"Should agree to talk to Sonya then... and then you might only have to do it for a week." Nikki replied with a smirk on her face, but her tone was as persuasive as she could muster. Deep down her stomach churned at the thought of going home to face Jason now. She'd tried desperately hard to put him to the back of her mind whilst she taught the days lessons... but now she couldn't avoid the thought. She had no rowdy kids with their half-ass attitudes to distract her.

"About what though, Nik? I don't know what to talk about! Everything'll end up about her anyway, always does!" Lorraine mumbled rather too shyly for her.

"She just wants you to trust her babe, just talk about anything... just not about work!" Nikki reassured her, her throat dry now due to her mind going into overdrive where Jason was concerned.

"Alright... maybe. Whatever. Anyway, what're you going to do about your unwelcome house guest?" Lorraine responded with a smile that made Nikki feel dizzy with emotion. Lorraine was clearly changing the subject because she felt far to uncomfortable talking about herself. She opened her mouth to explain how she didn't know what to do about Jason and she couldn't throw him on the streets even though he'd treated her like dirt... but no words came out. She felt a single burning hot tear meandering down her cheek, touching a finger to it, wiping it away furiously.

"Not too sure then. How d'you fancy coming to mine for a while tonight? Or not. Or... we can go somewhere." Lorraine responded authoritatively, but with the kindness that makes her so endearing. Nikki nodded thankfully and murmured, "Yours sounds good."

"I'd hug you or something but... I'd rather not kill us both." Lorraine laughed, clearly attempting to cheer Nikki up. A smile crept across Nikki's lips and a warmth returned to her cheeks.

"We're almost at yours anyway..." Nikki insinuated flirtatiously.

"Still about five minutes away," Lorraine replied, concentrating on the twists and turns in the road, but still driving over the speed limit, "I've gotta do some stuff for Michael this evening aswell." She had said the second part almost as much to remind herself as to inform Nikki.

"Do you really? Do you have to do it_ tonight?_" Nikki breathed as she reached a hand across and placed it on Lorraine's thigh, the fabric of her dress smooth against her hand.

"Nikki!" Lorraine exclaimed, attempting to keep her eyes on the road as they pulled into her street.

"It's fine then, you enjoy doing your paperwork. Don't let me stop you!" Nikki retorted, slightly seriously but her voice was laden with the sarcasm she knew Lorraine couldn't resist, "No, but seriously... I don't want Michael having a go at either of us."

"You... are terrible, but very right." Lorraine laughed as she carefully parked her Ferrari. She quickly opened her door and swung her legs out, under the careful eye of Nikki who couldn't help but smile. Nikki slung her bag over her shoulder and got out the car aswell, slamming the door too hard. Lorraine had already started walking towards the house, her own mind in overdrive thinking about the things that had been troubling her the night before. _**Get over this, Nikki's perfect... just go with it. **_Snatching quick breaths of the fresh summer air, she unlocked her front door and then waited outside until Nikki made her way up the path towards her. Her heart was racing, partially due to fending off the doubts of the previous night and partially due to Nikki looking so beautiful.

"Come on, get in you. I'm not in the mood to stand outside all night." Lorraine called with a laugh as Nikki approached the front door. It only took a few more steps until they were face to face.

"What _are _you in the mood for then, babe?" Nikki breathed, as Lorraine locked the heavy front door with ease. Nikki had said it before she'd even had time to register what she was saying. She sounded like a freak, she sounded downright rude. Lorraine's mind was still running over all the stupid things she'd been thinking about the previous night.

"I..." Lorraine hesitated, her eyes flitting around in their sockets. Putting Jason right to the back of her mind again, Nikki asked what was wrong.

"Nothing's wrong. It's just..." Lorraine began, even she didn't really know what she was going to say next, ever proving that she couldn't explain her feelings the slightest bit, "I need to try and do something." The blonde pulled Nikki's lips down to her's and kissed them hard, just one single kiss, feeling the woman's breath escape as she did so.

"I just needed to see if I could clear my mind of all the stupid things... Turns out, I can." Lorraine laughed, a twinkle in her eyes.

"Don't forget if you ever get a bit cagey about... well, us... please just let me know, Lo." Nikki insisted, her eyes now drawn directly to the blonde's perfectly shaped lips.

"I don't think I'll ever be cagey about us anymore," Lorraine announced almost too confidently, "now come here and stop loitering by the door."

Nikki took a single step closer to the woman in front of her, suddenly feeling a warmth in the atmosphere between them. Lorraine pulled up the sleeve of Nikki's grey blazer and touched her wrist.

"How's it feeling?" She asked kindly, concern being conveyed in their awkward eye contact.

"Much better." Nikki breathed, covering up the hint of pain in her voice. Her eyes were now carelessly scanning Lorraine's face.

"Don't make it any worse... I'd hate to hurt it anymore." Lorraine instructed her, her voice laced with concern.

"I can't leave Jason in my flat. I just can't trust him there." Nikki suddenly mumbled, panicked by a thought that had popped into her head.

"Just forget about him for a while, he can't do any harm at your flat, Nik. Please, just forget about him." Lorraine soothed, tucking a strand of loose hair behind Nikki's ear.

"How do you always know what to say?" Nikki whispered, an unintentional hint of flirtation in her voice.

"Because I know what you're like, I know how your silly mind works." Lorraine chuckled, but as soon as the words had left her mouth, Nikki's warm lips were pressed against hers. After a few seconds, Nikki wrapped her strong arms around Lorraine's waist; ignoring the twinge of pain in her wrist.

"I was expecting a coffee, a glass of wine at most... I thought you had work to do?" Nikki whispered with a smile. That was the truth, all she'd expected was Lorraine to do the paperwork Michael had already asked her to do... she had only _wanted _more than that.

"Sorry... you can happily have that." Lorraine responded with mock confrontation.

"No you silly sod... coffee doesn't seem all that interesting anymore." Nikki breathed, humour still heavily lacing her voice, catching her bottom lip between her teeth. Lorraine twirled a short strand of Nikki's hair around her finger with a shy but enticing smile dancing across her lightly glossed lips.

"What about wine?" Lorraine smirked, her voice catching in her throat as Nikki dropped her arms from around her waist.

"No... not even wine." Nikki breathed as she brushed blonde curls aside. Lorraine felt Nikki's lips plant a single kiss on her neck, sending a surge of new-found confidence through Lorraine's body. She carefully pulled Nikki's grey blazer off her arms and made sure she didn't hurt the woman's wrist. Nikki ran her hands over the soft fabric of Lorraine's dress, tracing her hands over the curves that she'd traced with her eyes earlier that day. She felt the anxieties she had over Jason leave her mind as Lorraine undid the first button of her shirt, Lorraine made her feel calmer than anyone else; she is so much more than a distraction. All day Nikki's mind had worked at a hundred miles an hour because she had so many things to think about... and now, in this moment, she just had Lorraine to think about and it felt like the best form of release she'd ever had.

"You... are perfect." Lorraine whispered, her lips so close to Nikki's skin it made her shiver.

"I'm really not." Nikki protested with nothing but honesty.

"Oh you really are babe, you've gotta believe me!" Lorraine told her, running a single finger along her collar bone, smiling reassuringly.

"What will you do if I don't believe you?" Nikki asked seductively.

"No Nik, this isn't me flirting with you. Please, you've gotta believe me because I can't bear it when you say stuff like that!" Lorraine said, with a slight hint of anger. Lorraine rested her hand on Nikki's collar bone, underneath the lilac fabric of the woman's shirt; she could feel Nikki's heart speed up. Lorraine looked into the woman's gorgeous sapphire eyes and noticed there was a fat tear clinging to her lashes.

"Please don't cry babe, it's the truth... it really is." Lorraine reassured her again, it always felt strange to be the calm and collected one when usually that was Nikki.

"D'you know what Lorraine... I love you." Nikki whispered, the words were hot as they left her lips. Lorraine gently brushed away the tear, her heart was pounding in her chest and making her feel dizzy. She couldn't tell how long it was before she replied, she hoped it was only seconds but it felt like hours. Her body felt warm with happiness at how those words had sounded leaving Nikki's mouth. Nikki had genuinely meant what she said and Lorraine wasn't used to that, so many of the guys she'd had her car-crash relationships with had told her they loved her but they'd never really meant it... or perhaps Lorraine just hadn't wanted to hear it.

"I... I l-love you too, Nik." Lorraine stammered, acutely aware that her cheeks blushing pale pink. She knew that Nikki meant what she said... she loved _her_... she didn't love her money or her body. Nikki even loved the stressful and panicked side to Lorraine; most of the time; and that was something the blonde had never expected.

"If you knew how cute you looked right now you'd be so embarrassed." Nikki giggled, absent-mindedly playing with Lorraine's curls.

"I'm already embarrassed." Lorraine laughed, closing her eyes and feeling her lashes flutter against her skin.

"What am I going to do with you, eh?" Nikki scoffed, her voice was purely sarcastic.

"Hmm... I don't know." Lorraine hummed, a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"I didn't mean it like that, damn you Lorraine! I didn't mean-" Nikki began to protest, incredibly aware how suggestive her previous phrase had sounded. She was cut off as Lorraine pressed a slim finger against her lips.

"No more talking. Just for once... no more talking." Lorraine replied, her words barely audible as she turned and walked away from Nikki.

"Damn you! Tease!" Nikki called behind her, making sure her tone was entirely light-hearted. _**Am I going to follow her? Does she want me to follow her? Dammit, course she does.**_ Nikki asked her self a series of questions as she decided whether she was going to give in to Lorraine's teasing or be stubborn and stay where she was. _**Fuck it, I'm going to stay here.**_ Nikki decided that she was going to sit on the sofa and see how long Lorraine would wait. Nikki had underestimated how powerfully Lorraine's teasing affected her and within five minutes she was already getting up off the sofa and walking into Lorraine's bedroom, which is where she assumed she was.

"D'you want a drink now or anything? Or..." Lorraine began to mumble, her blue blazer and her Prada heels now discarded in the corner of her bedroom as she sat on her bed.

"Nah, not really." Nikki replied with a throwaway comment as she walked towards the bed where Lorraine was sat.

"You're confusing sometimes you are." Lorraine breathed, her words catching in her throat again as she tucked her fingers into the pockets of Nikki's trousers.

"Pardon? _I'm _the confusing one? I think you're queen of confusion... that's a well-earned roll." Nikki scoffed, still managing to stay remarkably ignorant to Lorraine's charms.

Then she felt the blonde's slim fingers move from her pockets and up to her shirt buttons, deftly undoing them one by one.

"Straight forward enough for you, Nik?" Lorraine laughed childishly, clearly giving up on her attempts to make Nikki give in to her teasing... she was too stubborn for that.

"Pretty straight forward, yeah." the woman breathed as she felt Lorraine's hands pressed against her smooth skin as her shirt was discarded by the side of the bed. With a quiet laugh, Lorraine pulled Nikki on to the bed and quickly kissed the nape of her neck. Both women were lost in each other's touch and in each other's trust. It all seemed too good to be true but both women could feel that it truly was reality.


End file.
